Gradually, the strength returned to the body, and the cold limbs felt the temperature again, and the spiky touch came like a tide, but finally it gradually warmed, but the stomach was cold, as if a few ice balls had been thrown in, and it continued to fall heavily. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ

Barely supported to stand up, but found that his legs and knees were trembling slightly, and the whole person showed a state of detachment, opened the door panel of the cubicle, and staggered to the side of the sink, and then he could see the sweaty, messy, and pale self in the mirror, as if he had just walked out of hell, and the corners of his mouth couldn't help but outline a mocking wry smile.

Even when he was filming "Buried Alive", even when he was in a coffin for eight hours, even when he was in a physical confrontation with Vin Diesel, he was never so embarrassed. But today, he was a complete mess, and he felt that all the defenses of the whole person had been completely defeated, and he was simply overwhelmed, and he didn't even have the strength to fight back.

But, that's not unusual, is it?

Because it's all too real, for him, it's not a movie, it's life.

He understands the depression that slowly sinks but can't call for help, he understands the kind of predicament that longs to survive but is helpless, he understands the numbness that death is close but indifferent, he is Chu Jiashu, he is also Adam. It doesn't take any effort at all, and it is easy to be trapped in that chaotic space again, floating and sinning.

The eyes in the mirror, the focus was distracted, listless, lifeless, so ugly that people couldn't look at it directly, he couldn't help but raise his right hand and scratch it across the mirror, trying to delete the image, but only leaving a series of finger watermarks, making the projection blurry, and his face changed into six or seven broken pictures, like flowers in the mirror.

He turned on the faucet, splashed his cheeks with cold water, washed away the sweat completely, rubbed his cheeks vigorously, and tried to sober himself, but then he realized that he was sober, and had always been sober, because those memories were so real that it seemed that there was never a moment of falsehood.

The hand was full of coldness, the temperature of the skin still could not recover, and it was almost impossible to feel the presence of blood vessels, the touch that was almost like a vampire, the desolation and recklessness of the immortal body surged.

Looking at his hands that were trembling slightly, Lan Li suddenly understood. It was all a side effect of chemotherapy.

But...... Chemotherapy side effects? How ridiculous.

One, he didn't have cancer, second, he didn't undergo chemotherapy, and third, he didn't even have much of a problem with his body. But he is suffering from the side effects of chemotherapy? This is simply a ridiculous absurdity! Ridiculous! Nonsense!

The smile on the corner of his mouth couldn't help but tug up, and he laughed at himself, but halfway up, he looked at himself in the mirror, but suddenly stopped: It's not impossible.

It's like a pregnant couple. When the wife is pregnant, the husband begins to adjust his living habits to the same pattern as his wife in order to show his consideration and care, such as getting up and resting, fitness methods, and even eating habits.

In some specific psychological resonance situations, the husband may also have symptoms of "pregnancy", including morning sickness, nausea and other general conditions, and even may have conscious fetal movements and abdominal distention, completely simulating the situation of the wife's pregnancy.

This phenomenon has been medically confirmed, and there have been many real-life cases.

Everything is so real and too close that the body feels the psychological cues and begins to react accordingly, completely blurring the line between reality and hypothesis, allowing the hypothetical situation to evolve into reality. So, is that the case for him now?

He really felt the erosion of cancer, he really felt the invasion of chemotherapy, all of this was like the previous life, the feeling of suffocation that slowly sank, like the right hand of death, grabbed the neck, slowly retracted, and then killed all the hope of life.

So, is he really crazy now? Illusion and reality have been completely integrated, just like in "Truman's world", the illusion on TV has become the reality of his own life.

He exists, but he does not exist, he is a real person fabricated by man, he has flesh and blood, personality and corners, and it is difficult to distinguish between truth and falsehood. But everything he has is in the hands of "God". So, can he, like Truman, go out of this absurd reality show?

Raising his head again, he looked at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were beaded, there was still not much blood in the paleness, and all brilliance was lost in his calm eyes. pulled the corners of his mouth and showed a big smile, but there was no movement under his eyes, and the unfathomable glow could not reflect the vitality.

He knew that in the depths, in the depths of his eyes, in the bottomless abyss of his eyes, there was a pair of invisible giant hands dragging his legs to sink continuously, gradually moving away from the water, and the vitality was radiant and dissipating in the inky lake little by little, until it disappeared completely.

It's the tumor that's talking.

He told himself that this was not his true thoughts, this was not his real condition, it was all just a tumor talking, that tumor called Adam.

It's all true, he's Lan Li, he's making a movie called "Me Against Cancer", he's Chu Jiashu, he's been paralyzed in a hospital bed/on the hospital bed for 10 years, he's playing Adam, he's suffering from cancer and undergoing chemotherapy, and he's based on Will, the screenwriter of the movie, who has managed to get rid of cancer.

It's all true. His thoughts were crystal clear.

However, the line between reality and illusion could not be found, he was not sure if this was on the set of "I Fight Cancer", he remembered that there was a scene in it where Adam vomited in the bathroom, he was not sure if it was a return to the memory of the previous life, he remembered that the cold and piercing feeling when he was dying, not from the body, but from the soul, he was not sure if this was his own real situation, the recent period of low-grade fever and stomach problems had made his body weak.

He tries to find his true self in the mirror. But I can't tell which is the real self. Which "self" should he look for in order to gain a firm foothold in real life?

This is not normal. It was as if he had just experienced a side effect from chemotherapy. So, it must be the tumor that is speaking. When the tumor opens, it's like a "Harry Potter" story, the trees speak, and the hat speaks. It's all unreal, but it's all real.

It must be so. He was calm and not flustered at all. There is no madness in the "buried alive" period at all, and even the dream and the set can't be distinguished. Now he is very sober, and he needs to continue to be sober.

Opening his eyes again and looking at the familiar face in the mirror, he said, "It's 2011, February 20th, in the afternoon, I'm in Seattle, filming 'Fighting Cancer', I'm an actor, I'm filming, it's all filming." ”

After finishing speaking, he paused for a moment, repeated all the words again, and then paused again, looking at himself in the mirror seriously, the sentence "I am Lan Li" was rolling on the tip of his tongue, no matter what, in the end, he simply gave up, took out two pieces of paper, wiped all the water droplets on his cheeks, let out a long breath, and the whole person finally recovered slightly.

He took another step and left the bathroom, and then saw Seth and Will standing in the doorway.

Both of them had a deep worry on their faces, and their nervous expressions were not concealed at all, wanting to say a few words of authority, but they didn't know where to start, and the result could only be stunned in place without embarrassment. It was as if a friend had just told them that he had cancer, and he didn't know what to do except for the "sorry" expression on his face.

Lan Li thought this was really interesting, and the smile on the corner of his mouth couldn't help but rise, "You guys go over first, I'll sit down next to me and rest for a while, and then I'll follow." "Now he still can't feel too much strength in his limbs, and the whole person feels like he is out of strength, and he needs to take a breath.

"Are you alright?" Seth asked cautiously, as if Lan Li were a fragile porcelain doll.

Will, who was standing next to him, also had a heavy face, but he didn't speak, but looked at Lan Li with a firm gaze, and the faint light revealed a trace of firmness and hope. The power of that belief awakened the resonance of Lan Li, and between the staggered sights, there was a tacit understanding that only people with the same way could understand.

"I'm fine. Lan Li smiled and nodded at Seth, "It was just an upset stomach just now, and I took care of it a little." Now, all I need most is to sit down and rest for a while, alone. Without waiting for Seth to make a request, Lan Li took the initiative to emphasize the matter of "alone", "I'm serious, you guys hurry up." ”

Looking at the two big guys who were reluctant to move, Lan Li couldn't help but wonder, "This is a hospital, and medical staff are coming and going all the time, this should be the place where you don't need to worry about me the least." Rest assured, I have no intention of risking my life. ”

Seth had a strange feeling, for a moment he thought it was Ranley talking, but the next he thought it was Adam talking. That vague feeling makes it even difficult to tell whether this is reality or a movie - he has the most scenes against Adam in the movie, and he always feels that the scene just now seems to have happened in the script.

Seth scratched his head, hesitated for a moment, then cast an inquiring look at Will, and both of them nodded before reluctantly stepping forward. But after all, it was inevitable to be worried, and when he looked back again, he saw that Lan Li walked to the bench next to him, sat down, and relaxed.

Seth was a little relieved, and Will dragged his arm and whispered, "Let's go, he'll be fine." ”