Chapter 127: Scolding the Battleman
"The immortal of the soldier family is worthy of the name!"
Xiao Yi went around Xiapi City for a day, and immediately after he went back, he started to make a sand table model, and repeatedly deduced it, failed, failed, or failed, in three days, a full twelve simulated attacks, without exception, all ended in failure!
The city is high, the pool is deep, the ground is dangerous, the defense is perfect, there are at least 40,000 elite soldiers stationed in the city, the money and food are also sufficient, and it is not a problem to support the previous year, and then commanded by Lu Bu and assisted by Chen Gong, unless they take the initiative to go out of the city for a decisive battle, there is no way!
One person is short in wisdom, two people are long in wisdom, after thinking hard to no avail, Xiao Yi invited his good friend Guo Jia to come, and the two of them deduced the war in Xiapi together on the sand table, and then Cheng Yu came, Xun Yu, Xun You also came, and finally even Prime Minister Cao Cao also came
In the end, everyone agreed that the defense of Xiapi City was perfect, even if the 200,000 troops were filled in, it would be difficult to break through the city, if you want to fight a quick battle and solve this war before the summer, you can only make up your mind on the other party's generals, the city is flawless, the people are deficient, and the pride is like Han Xin, isn't it planted in the palm of Han Gaozu's hands?
"If you want to trick the tiger dove out of the city, I'm afraid it's not so easy?"
"Well, eat a trench, grow a wisdom, and have been defeated several times in a row, Lu Bu has changed from a flying general to a turtle general, and he is completely unable to defend his posture!"
"Even if he wants to go out of the city to fight, Chen Gong will probably try his best to dissuade him, this person is extremely intelligent, and ordinary strategies don't want to hide from him!"
Everyone expressed their opinions, and the general method is not to lead the tiger out of the hole, unless
"Then scold Lu Bu out, people want faces, trees want bark, see how long he can endure!" Xiao Yi had a dark face, and made a final decision, and then selected the talents in the army to scold!
Scolding, but it is a technical job, the emphasis is on hooking up the enemy's anger between words, like a red-eyed bull, fearlessly rushing out to die, in order to do this, you must have a loud voice, sharp teeth, thick skin and black belly!
First of all, the voice must be loud, you must be able to do a roar two miles away, the voice clearly floats into the ears of the enemy, in this era without a megaphone, it is all up to personal ability, you have to be the kind of strong man with full confidence, large lungs, and wide voice to be competent!
If you don't have this ability, then don't take on the errand of scolding, otherwise the voice is too scolding and it will be in vain, or you can go to the bottom of the city wall to scold the formation, so that the enemy will hear it, but the arrows will follow, and it will be strange if you don't shoot you into a hedgehog!
Secondly, you have to be eloquent, if others scold a sentence, you can scold three times, renovate the tricks, even scold for three days and three nights without repeating, and you have to scold the tricky and mean, not only can you scold the living to death, but also have the ability to scold the dead from the cemetery!
In the end, you have to be thick-skinned, because the scolding war is often on both sides, and the enemy will not honestly stand there and let you scold, so not only must you scold all kinds of tricks, but also suppress the other party's scolding.
If you don't have these two shots, it's best not to go out conspicuously, otherwise the enemy is not angry, you yourself spurt out three mouthfuls of old blood first, then it is not a scolding array, it is sent to death!
To say that Cao Jun is really talented, under such high requirements, after layers of selection, he insisted on picking out more than 200 qualified scolding players, all of whom are one in a thousand scolding talents, and they will be tenors in later generations!
More than 200 people, if you want to scold neatly, rhythmically, hierarchically, and with connotation, you have to choose a team leader.
As a cook, life in the army is relatively boring, others are practicing swords, guns, swords, halberds, but they are dealing with pots and pans, plus there is a lot of spare time, quarreling has become an important amateur activity for them, and Fat Liu is one of the best, known as the invincible hand of the whole army, one person can block millions of soldiers, and the prestige of the Xuanjia Iron Cavalry has been greatly increased!
After receiving the military order, Fat Liu was not ambiguous, threw down the iron pot, and set off with more than 200 scolding players, in order to look solemn, holding the banner of the Xuanjia Army in one hand, and holding a strange-looking iron sheet rolled up in the other hand, it was Xiao Yi who drew a picture overnight, and let the army skillfully make the scolding array artifact loudspeaker!
At the same time, all the units of the Cao army went out and laid a net in all directions, and Xiao Yi personally led the Xuanjia Iron Cavalry to follow behind those scolding fighters, as long as Lu Bu dared to take a step out of Xiapi City, he would definitely teach him to come and go.
At this point, everything is ready, start scolding!
"The third surnamed slave Lu Bu, get out quickly, and fight to the death with the fat master!" With a wild roar, the big horn rolled into iron sheets amplified Fat Liu's voice several times, not only the people in the city could hear it clearly, but even the soldiers of the Cao Army in the distance could hear it!
"You were originally a Xiqiang wild seed, pretending to be of Chinese Miao descent, mixed in the army, worshipping godfathers indiscriminately, waging your tail and begging for mercy for a living, today your fat master is merciful, let you be surnamed Liu again?
Lu Bu Xiaoer, brazen, vainly called the world's first brave general, one defeat of the Tiger Prison, two defeats of Chang'an, three defeats of Jibei, four defeats of Xiao Guan, being chased by others like a lost dog, just this ability, you even give my family the governor shoes to think you are rough, ghost face Xiao Lang, that is the invincible god general who wins a hundred battles! ”
The scolding is rolling, like thunder, Fat Liu roared, and those scolding hands in the back drank a sentence, there were eyes and eyes, and the cooperation was seamless, worthy of a group of professional scolders!
At the head of Pi City, Lu Bu was patrolling the defense with Fang Tian's halberd in his hand, and when he heard the scolding array, he suddenly jumped like thunder, especially the sentence of the three surnamed house slaves, which made his angry true soul almost out of the shell!
"Xiao Lang Xiao'er, dare to insult me?"
As soon as he looked at the flags outside, Lu Bu knew who sent these scolding fighters, and as for the evil words of the three surnamed slaves, only the ghost-faced Xiao Lang, who was as black as ink, could think of it, "Order troops, prepare horses, this general will go out of the city to fight them to the death!" ”
"Wen Hou must not raise troops because of anger, as the so-called small unbearable chaos and big schemes, now the enemy is strong and I am weak, all rely on the high pool of Picheng, this is barely stalemate, once the soldiers and horses go out, I am afraid that there is no return!"
Chen Gong hurriedly spoke out to dissuade him, today's Xiapi City is like a small boat on the sea, if you are not careful, it will be the end of the ship's destruction and death, and what is even more terrifying is that the captain is Lu Bu, who is brave and unscrupulous!
"What about the scolding outside the city? Will General Ben endure it? ”
"Turning a deaf ear, it's just a breeze blowing through him!"
Just as the two were talking in the city, the scolding players changed again, and the rise of the original group of people scolding actually wrote and performed by themselves, and the repertoire they performed was Fengyi Pavilion!
A young soldier with delicate eyebrows is responsible for playing Diao Chan, wearing a red women's dress, walking like a lotus, with an index finger orchid, between a smile and a smile, he really has a bit of anti-string talent, if it is placed in the future generations, it is a complete pseudo-girl!
At this time, Lu Bu appeared, and he was also a slender man, wearing a sack piece, tied with hemp rope around his waist, a black pot on his head, carrying a big iron halberd, absolutely primitive dress, as soon as he came on the field, he knelt down everywhere to recognize his godfather, and deliberately ran to Xiao Yi to kowtow one, the one called a sweet one with a small mouth, and it was still an authentic Jiuyuan accent
As for Dong Zhuo, it was played by Fat Liu himself, with a huge body, a brocade robe, and a beard made of a horse's tail.
The rest of the plot is simple, as soon as Lu Bu met Dong Zhuo, he immediately knelt down and called his godfather, and he was making a gesture and kowtowing, and he deliberately found an iron basin to serve Dong Zhuo to wash his feet, and tried his best to flatter him, and when he was praised, he would stick out his tongue, and he was full of lackeys, in short, he acted as disgusting
The father and son were embarrassed, all kinds of ugliness, until Diao Chan appeared, and the two men suddenly turned into werewolves, looking up to the sky and howling, followed by eyebrows, catching rape in the backyard, and throwing halberds at the door of the house
This wonderful performance can be described as three points to the bone, and the acting skills of several actors are also in place, almost on the basis of restoring history, and making some artistic exaggerations, not only the Xuanjia army watched with relish, but the Xuzhou soldiers in the city also stretched their necks to appreciate, and when they saw the wonders, the soldiers of the two armies applauded at the same time
In ancient times, when amateur life was extremely scarce, this was a divine drama!
"It seems that you can set up a drama troupe in the army, make up some repertoire when you have nothing to do, perform a performance, enrich the spare time life of the soldiers, and perform it within the Xuanjia Army, others want to see it, I'm sorry, you have to buy a ticket" Touching the little black face, Xiao Yi came up with a good way to make a fortune quickly, and decided to implement it immediately after going back, which can be regarded as making some contribution to the spiritual civilization of the Eastern Han Dynasty!
The charm of the opera is endless, before Fat Liu and others finished the big play, the real Lu Bu on the head of Xia Picheng couldn't bear it anymore, killing his father-in-law and seizing Diao Chan, this is the biggest stain in his life, but people are usually afraid of the courage of the tiger dove, so they don't dare to mention it in person, but the discussion behind it is absolutely indispensable
Lu Bu also knows this, but out of sight is clean, and he usually gets by on the surface, but now he is put out naked, or in front of hundreds of thousands of soldiers of the two armies, this is not just a slap in the face, it is simply tearing off his face and throwing it on the ground, so that hundreds of thousands of soldiers can step on it alone
"Is it tolerable, or is it intolerable?"
Lu Bu couldn't bear it anymore, with a wave of his hand, he threw away the Chen Gong who was persuading him and ordered all the people and horses, this is going to go out of the city to fight hard, the boundless shame can only be washed away with blood, it is not the enemy's, it is his own!
"Boom! Knock knock! ”
The war drums sounded, the drawbridge of Xiapi City was lowered, and then the city gate began to rumble open, only to see the sword light and sword shadow inside, murderous and murderous, a tiger dove was about to rush out
Hearing the sound of drums, Cao Jun outside the city was also excited, and Xiao Yi led the men and horses to approach step by step, and the phoenix wings and gold boring in his hands danced like flying, as long as Lu Bu's war horse crossed the moat one step, his death time would come
"Knock knock! Kill! ”
In the thunderous sound of war drums, the shouts of killing also began to sound, and just when the officers and men of the two armies were holding their breath and preparing for a bloody battle, a messenger suddenly ran over from the city of Xiapi
"Report to Wenhou, the second lady has a heartache and is sick, and she is dying of pain, please go back quickly!"
"What, Diao Chan is sick?" After receiving the news, Lu Bu's anger suddenly turned into countless worries, in the whole world, if anyone can change his will, it is two women, one is his baby daughter, and the other is Diao Chan!
"What to do? To get out of the city, or not to get out of the city? Looking at the soldiers who were ready to go, and then looking at the direction of his mansion, Lu Bu suddenly hesitated, this beloved woman was exchanged for his infamy, and she was usually regarded as a treasure!
"Wen Hou, please go home quickly, the eldest lady can't stop crying, she keeps saying that she wants to see her father, the eldest lady can't be appeased!" Another messenger came, which became the last straw that overwhelmed Lu Bu, compared to his family, his life can be wanted, and a little face is nothing
"Close the door, collect the troops, return to the house, there are those who go out of the city without permission to fight, behead!" With a red rabbit horse, Lu Bu went straight to his mansion, as for the 200,000 Cao troops outside, you can play by yourself!
The city gate that had been opened for most of the time was closed again, the drawbridge rose high, and the tiger dove, which was finally enraged, retracted again, and the previous efforts were abandoned, and the Cao army outside the city beat his chest, a hard work, in vain!
"It's hard for the tiger dove to come out!" Xiao Yi slapped his thigh depressedly, people's faces are getting thicker and thicker the scolding, Lu Bu After today's incident, I'm afraid he will never be provoked again, because he has immunity!
"And who used a trick to invite a crazy tiger back?"
Xiapi City, in the mansion, Diao Chan is sitting in the inner house with a pink face like a flower, her face is ruddy, and she is full of energy, not to mention that she is sick, with her skills, it is no problem to hit the tiger!
As for the legendary Miss Lu, who was crying incessantly, she was drooling in front of a sumptuous banquet at this time, how could she have a sad look!
This is just a little trick of Diao Chan, after all, it is a woman who has experienced strong winds and waves, since the siege of the city by Cao Jun, she has always paid attention to the dynamics outside the city, and today I heard that the ghost-faced Xiao Lang was scolding outside the city, and he was also directing a group of people where to act, this big beauty immediately became worried
If you talk about bravery, Lu Bu is invincible in the world, but when it comes to all minds, even if you add up ten tiger doves, you are not an opponent of Xiao Yi!
"Rival, it's the two of us who will fight wits in the future!" Drinking the wine in her hand, Diao Chan's eyes also rose with a strong fighting spirit, when it comes to guessing people's hearts, she is also one of the masters!
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