Chapter 44: Love
Not only was she an interesting person, but she was also an Englishman, a person with ill intentions and unknown origins. Charles replied silently in his heart.
But, of course, he wouldn't tell Matilda about these things.
"Oh yes, she's really funny." Charles nodded, "I hope you can have a good chat, but you won't tell her who you really are, will you?" β
"Well, of course it won't be, I'm so embarrassed." Matilda looked very happy, and even her tone was much lighter than usual, "It's a bit wrong to conceal it, but I don't think she minds, we just talk about literature once in a while." β
With the well-informed Miss Blue Stockings, even if Matilda concealed her identity, after receiving the letter, she should be able to find out Matilda's true identity from all kinds of clues...... Charles thought suddenly.
Forget it, even if she knows, she may not be able to do anything, no matter what she is.
Before Charles could speak again, Matilda gushed about the literary topics she was most interested in, commenting on the most fashionable works now, and Charles couldn't say anything because he had already left his original literary circle, but he didn't seem to be interested in anything.
"Charles, aren't you really going to rewrite something? You don't need a long work, it's better to write a short story......" Noticing Charles's aura, Matilda couldn't help but say this again, "I know you're a busy person right now, but it's not like you don't have any free time, right?" Take advantage of your free time to write short essays. Even if it's an anonymous form, right? β
"I can't do it for two things, I don't have a hobby of Chateaubriand." Charles shrugged, "Say it again." Writing an article requires a mood, and now that we are faced with a mountain of problems in front of us, it is difficult enough to find a way to overcome them, where do I have free time? If I have time in the future, maybe I'll give it a try, and if I show others what I've been experiencing and planning for the past few years. Even if I had a makeover, I would have surprised everyone by keeping it......"
"Talents in politics or business, although they are also rare. But as long as you work hard to learn from the experience of others, you can still gradually become proficient, but literary talent is not something that can be had, if you just throw it away. I think it's a shame...... Ay. I don't understand why you guys enjoy this stuff so much. β
"Because we are men, we are natural hunters, we are born to fight prey and trample on opponents, this is our nature, in a sense, this is also the source of human progress." Charles replied in a low voice, with some emotion, "All right. Not to mention these advanced things, actually. You're not just talking to me about these things, are you?
After hearing Charles's words, Matilda's face tensed slightly, and her eyes behind the lenses were a little dodgy, as if she was very hesitant.
Charles didn't press either, quietly waiting for her to make up her mind.
"Well, since you say so, then I'll make it clear." Probably after some ideological struggle, Matilda finally made up her mind, "Charles, I don't know if this is true, so don't be angry if it makes you unhappy later......"
"Well, I'm not angry, and I certainly won't be angry with you." Charles smiled and nodded, "Between the two of us, it's supposed to be open and honest, isn't it?" β
"Okay......" Matilda lowered her head and thought for a moment, then suddenly raised her head and looked directly at Charles, "Since you said that we should be open and honest with each other, then, I would like to ask you a question, and please answer it truthfully." β
"Please." It felt a little strange, but Charles nodded.
"You, do you feel, Fran, that there is, well...... you," Matilda hesitated, as if choosing words.
β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦ As if after a half-century pause, Matilda picked up the question.
"Extremely strong love? You know what I mean, that's what it is...... That kind of ...... out Out of the general boundaries of love? It's like ...... What kind of love does an ordinary girl have for a young person? β
Charles' expression froze.
For a moment, he didn't even know how to react.
After a few moments, he subconsciously wanted to deny it, to deny it, to denounce the ridiculous accusation, but Matilda looked at him with such certainty, so unwavering that he immediately lost interest in defending himself.
Gradually, he lowered his gaze, as if he did not dare to make eye contact with Matilda.
Matilda nodded, as if to confirm that her guess had come true, and as if to praise Charles for not playing tricks in front of her and being really open.
"Don't worry, I only decided to ask you about this guess just now, and I haven't told anyone before." Matilda lowered her voice, as if she could understand Charles's mood at this time, so she felt a little pity, "I didn't even say it to my sister. β
There was another long silence.
"When did you show up?" I don't know how long later, Charles finally asked sullenly, his voice a little dry, and his expression was even less arrogant than just now.
"It wasn't long before you and Miss TrΓ©ville's ball that day." Matilda replied, "I saw Fran sitting alone in the corner, and she was very sad...... And then I ran over ......."
Then, she relayed what she had seen and heard that night to Charles.
"What a misfortune......," said Charles, with a long sigh, "yes, it is. I don't know what's going on, but one day, she suddenly told me that she loved me and that she wanted to stay with me forever, and I was so stunned! Even now, I'm still distressed and don't know what to do. β
"What are you worried about?" Matilda asked.
Suddenly, she had walked over to Charles's side and sat down.
"Distressed about what? Needless to say? Isn't that scary? We're brother and sister......" Charles sighed. Obviously a little worried.
"So you're actually reluctant to reciprocate her affection?" Matilda continued to ask.
"What can we talk about whether we want to or not, we are brothers and sisters. This should not be talked about at all. Charles replied dejectedly, "What can be done about this?" β
"So what exactly are you going to do with it?" Matilda asked again, as if curious about the question.
"What to do? I don't know, I can only spend it like this, and time should solve this problem. Charles smiled wryly. In the end, maybe it was because I had a good relationship with her when I was a child, so she was too attached to me. Wait until you grow up. She's probably going to wake up from this artificially woven dream on her own......"
When he said this, his own heart suddenly felt a faint pain.
Even he couldn't tell what it was, was he sorry for it?
No. I can't go on thinking about it like that.
"In other words, do you think of this as a child's impulse, and a childish attachment?" Matilda's eyes became a little strange.
"Isn't that so?" Charles asked rhetorically.
"Not necessarily, in my opinion, Fran is a very determined person." Matilda replied. Then she waved her hand. "I know that you and she are brother and sister and have been together for so many years, but can you say that you know her completely?" No, you, like all men, can't really understand a girl, you're only seeing the surface - for Fran. This is even more so. From childhood to adulthood, she only needs to be coquettish and say a few soft words. You'll find a way to fulfill her wishes, so how can you really understand her heart? All you see is a doll that is ready to play with you and make you happy. I'm not happy to say it, but I have to say that after a few years as a classmate, I'm afraid I know her better than you do. β
As if thinking of something, Matilda's expression was a little solemn, "In my opinion, she is not a child whose ideas change and change without opinions, on the contrary, her will is much stronger than you think, and what she believes will definitely go on." Isn't that what painting is all about? Although she has talent, she also needs a lot of practice and thinking, and it requires absolute concentration and enthusiasm...... So, in this matter, I'm afraid she's serious too, sir. β
After hearing this, Charles subconsciously laughed, he wanted to refute the other party's words, but finally gave up.
"I don't know if you praise her or belittle her......"
"Of course, this is a compliment, and even now, I feel honored to be able to work with her under a painter, and she can really become a famous painter!" Matilda looked at Charles rather seriously, then turned her gaze away, "Well, back to the original topic, what did you mean by those words that you didn't intend to grant her wishes?" β
"How can I be satisfied, and how should I be satisfied...... We're brother and sister. Charles sighed again, "Besides, I have Charlotte now." β
"But after Charlotte, you still found me?"
"You're different." Charles replied immediately, and then suddenly reacted, "That's not good, she deserves the best and happiest life, I can't ......"
"Her definition of 'happy life' is probably different from yours." Matilda muttered under her breath, then looked back at Charles, "So does Miss Trevier know what she thinks?" β
Charles was slightly stunned.
yes, she knows?
"I don't know, I don't know."
It seems to know.
Matilda made a judgment in her mind.
Even if I know, I still have to marry you, that's really true love. She laughed bitterly in her heart, and then unexpectedly had some unspeakable feelings for CharlotteβI'm robbing what should be yours.
"Well, now that you know everything, I don't have much more to say." Charles lowered his gaze, "So you can understand my feelings about not wanting to mention this, right?" β
"Understanding is understanding, but that's not enough. Do you really think that as long as you close your eyes, nothing will be born? Matilda asked rhetorically.
"What do you mean?"
"You still don't understand what I'm worried about?" Matilda shook her head slightly, "Fran is a very strong-willed child, she will definitely not do nothing, seeing the greatest wish in her life be disappointed, if she has been affected by something bad during this period, and has done something irreparable, it will be troublesome." β
"What do you mean?"
"Watch out for that Miss de Beauwon." Matilda looked at Charles. "She's been trying to get close to Fran by all means, and she can't figure out if there's something special going on. Well, that's right. It's true that I don't have a good relationship with her, but it's not something I'm saying because of my own personal grudges. β
"Does even she know?" Charles was in a wall again.
What the hell.
"Well, yes." Matilda nodded, "But it doesn't look like she's going to make a noise." It's just that there seems to be another plan. β
"Yes......" Charles frowned. Then he slowly stretched out again, "Okay, I'll be careful, if she dares to play any tricks, I'll make her suffer enough." β
"It's not Mademoiselle de Beauvang who really has to worry about...... But the source of the pain is a dead knot that cannot be untied, which is really sad. Matilda smiled wryly. Hey, I've been thinking about it for a long time before I tell you directly. I hope you don't mind. β
"No, of course I don't mind, in fact I'm a little comfortable." Charles let out a long sigh, "Ah, it's rare to be able to talk to you, and I feel a lot more relaxed. β
"It's just that you're relaxed on your own, but it's not enough." Matilda replied with a smile.
"Well, yes, it's just that I'm not enough, but ...... What can I do? Charles shook his head, freeing himself from this thought, "By the way, I'm curious about one thing right now - isn't it, after knowing this, that you don't discriminate against Fran at all?" Don't think she's wrong at all? β
"No, why discriminate? What's wrong with Fran falling in love with someone? No, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just a trick of fate that made the arrow only slightly deviate from its direction. Matilda's expression suddenly became a little stern, "Such a strong love itself makes people feel envious, such a fiery and pure love, I have only seen it in books before, and now I can see it with my own eyes, but I am a little envious." β
Charles was speechless.
Matilda, indeed, is a strange person.
However, because it is strange, it is so attractive.
"It's great that you can think so......" Although I don't know what the good is, Charles still stubbornly continued, "If you can, I would like to ask you to walk around with my sister more in the future, so that she can come out of the fog sooner......"
"Are you sure?" Matilda looked up, as if jokingly and as if seriously, "If your sister knew about her friend and her brother...... Well, that's it...... How do you think she would react? If she's in love, what should I do? Do I still have a position to continue to associate with her brother while claiming to be genuinely good for her? β
With this slightly sneering gaze, even Charles, who had already been brazen to a certain extent, couldn't help but blush a little.
Although he has always avoided thinking about this kind of question, the trouble in reality will not really arise because of his deliberate avoidance, as Matilda said, maybe one day Fran will have a personal affair between the two.
Even, perhaps, someday in the future, even Charlotte will know...... Charles immediately blocked his thoughts, he didn't want to think about it anymore, it was unimaginable.
Intellectually speaking, if you don't want to cause trouble in the future, then it's better to just stop the two of you from the precipice, never step on that line again, and treat it as if you didn't do anything before - but, in any case, he didn't want to do it.
Because, after finding a companion, he never wanted to return to the loneliness of the past.
"These are two different things. Even if we are like this now, don't you have good intentions for her anymore? After a moment's hesitation, he spoke again, "Fran won't blame you, if she has to be angry, I'll sue her for all my fault, she can't be blamed by you for this, if she has to, I'll discipline her." I don't need her to be in charge of my own business. β
"You're really ......" Matilda shook her head with a wry smile, as if she didn't know how to comment on his decision, "Well, since you said that, I'll try to deal with Flandor in the future, so that she won't be affected by those bad influences." If...... If something happens, I'll help her get through it. β
"Thank you so much." Charles's mood finally relaxed.
Then, he slowly raised his head and looked at Matilda next to him.
"Matilda, I don't know why, but when I have you, I suddenly feel a lot more relieved."
"Maybe it's a delusion." Matilda replied with a smile.
"Then continue to delusion me."
Charles laughed, then suddenly opened his hands and took Matilda in his arms.
The gaze behind the lenses was looking at him, and his reddish face was so intoxicating.
"I know it's excessive, but promise me never to leave me, okay?"
"Perhaps, Charles." She still smiled, then closed her eyes.
"Thank you, I'll work hard for this 'maybe'." Charles closed his eyes as well.
The lips of the two men were pressed together again. (To be continued!)
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