There was a kind of pain, called it so painful that I couldn't put it into words.

It hurts very much to be at ease, and this kind of pain that cannot be loved and hated is deeply held in my heart and cannot be spoken. She couldn't mention it to anyone, even if it was known to the sisters of the Yiling Palace, it would bring great disaster to them.

What is the love between a man and a woman? Xibu was deeply attracted, this question was asked by my aunt many people, and sometimes even he asked it, but he never got an answer.

Through the gap in the window, with the strength of the west step, she could feel the breath of Yi'an's chest rising and falling violently, and she was secretly crying. He didn't dare to cry out loud when he cried like this, this aunt hadn't taught him.

Zhongli once said that a boy was born in the world, and he had to cry and laugh loudly in order to live in vain. Xibu also used to cry, but he was scolded by Zhongli and cried, scolding him for not being angry. Even if Zhongli beats him, Xibu will not cry, and he will not cry when he is beaten by the ice girl and is on the verge of death, only if Zhongli scolds him, he will cry.

Ke'an's situation made Xibu puzzled, he didn't beat her, nor scolded her, but just asked what is the relationship between men and women, why did she cry? If you don't scold or cry, or the kind of situation that won't cry out loud, it's something that Xibu hasn't encountered, and he doesn't know how to do it for a while.

I wanted to rush to Zhongdian to find Zhongli to ask, but thinking of what Yi'an said to him, this matter let Zhongli know that she would die. Although he believed Zhongli, from the way Ian looked, it didn't look like she was lying. This stumped Xibu, a stupid character, and couldn't guess the implicit content at all.

As the days passed, Yi'an did not say a word to Xibu, but often hid in the room and cried silently. Every time he cried, Xibu could feel that in this Yiling Palace, it was Yi'an who felt him the most deeply. From this woman, Xibu saw a different side from other women, that is, under the cowardly appearance, there was a mysterious affection.

This kind of love is also what Xibu wants to pursue, because it is also the answer that Zhongli is pursuing. Xibu's exploration, Yi'an's silence, can be tolerated for a short time, but the love in the world, the two people who have lived under the same roof for a long time, finally can't bear it. If there is no silence in silence, it will explode in silence.

One stormy night, Yi'an took the initiative to invite Xibu to the room for dinner. She knew that such a thing would bring her death, but she couldn't bear the torment. A woman in the deep palace, once she uses her true feelings for someone, she will be out of control.

This kind of love, just like Zhao Gao and Weilan, Lao Xiang and Mao Mao, knew that there was no result, but they still did it without hesitation. Maybe this kind of love will be beaten to death by their masters, and they are willing.

They don't care about beating and scolding, they don't care about life and death, and the most unbearable thing for them is the unspeakable pain of a sentient person. Even in Yi'an's mind, this kind of torment was even more unbearable than Ying Ai's methods of torturing her.

Drinking the bottle of wine, looking at the face of Xibu opposite, Yi'an said with a smile: "What is the love between men and women? Taking advantage of the wind and rain tonight, the thunder roared, and Sister Xiaocui was in retreat, she asked Xiao An to explain to her eldest brother. When we drink the whole table of wine, when we get drunk, the eldest brother will understand. ”

Xibu asked, "Why are you drunk?" ”

Yi An replied: "Only after being drunk can we strengthen our courage and stimulate human instincts." ”

Xibu asked again, "Why did you tell me only tonight?" ”

Yi An said softly: "For drunk people, the movement will be very loud, so that the big brother in charge will not hear it." ”

Xibu asked strangely, "Why are you still crying when you laugh?" ”

Yi An wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and said with a wry smile: "After tonight, you will naturally understand." ”

This night, both of them were drunk, one to vent their deep feelings, and the other to seek answers to what love is......

When he woke up one night, before dawn, Xibu rushed out of Yi'an's room, returned to his room, closed the door loudly, and hid himself in the quilt and did not dare to come out to meet him. He understood what love was. He had a relationship with Ian, and by this time, he understood why Ian wept so often.

Yi'an is the king's woman, and all she did was to discredit her aunt. After living in the palace for so long, Xibu still understands such a simple truth. He didn't dare to tell anyone about this, not even Zhongli, he also sensed a gaze, but he didn't have time to explain, because he didn't know how to communicate with people, he wouldn't explain it at all.

The chef didn't sleep all night, and he knew it from Yi'an's invitation to Xibu for dinner. It's just that I didn't expect that Yi'an would be so affectionate, and such an adultery would kill her. But the chef didn't stop it, a person is so affectionate, even if he adds an axe every day, he will face it calmly.

After that night, Xibu didn't dare to see Yi'an anymore, after a long time, he still couldn't bear it, he wanted to know Yi'an's current situation, at least let her cry less. Every time Yi'an silently shed tears, Xibu felt heartache to the bone, it turned out that the love between men and women in the world was so uncomfortable, but it made people unable to extricate themselves.

When Xibu knocked on the door of E'an's house again, E'an reached the door of the house, and tears kept flowing from his eyes, but he spoke softly, and no moans came out.

"Brother Xibu, you have to remember that what happened that night, don't mention it to anyone, and don't tell your aunt. It's Xiao An's fault, this kind of love is too extravagant, and it's not something we can afford. Forget about it, you and I must not have any words in the future, and it is better not to even meet each other, lest others find out. ”

Xibu wanted to say something, but the words came to his lips, and with his stupid personality, he really didn't know how to say it. When he heard it, Ian cried again, and this feeling made him very worried.

A cowardly person, a stupid person, the love of these two people, with the rolling torrent of this great era, I don't know where fate will push them. They only know one thing, with their humble love, it is a taboo in the Qin Palace, and it is even more difficult to speak to outsiders than those who eat it.

A few months passed, and one night, Yi'an broke into Xibu's room in tears, hugged Xibu and cried silently. Xibu touched Yi'an's tearful face and whispered: "Don't be afraid, Xiao An, as long as I don't say it, no one will know." ”

Ian sobbed, "I can't hide it, it will kill everyone here." ”

With the strength of Xibu, under the induction, he had sensed the fetal breath in the abdomen that was about to turn into a human shape. Xibu showed surprise in his eyes, this is his child, he has been lonely since he was a child, and he has never had such joy of life continuation. I opened my grinning mouth, and when I saw that Yi'an was still crying, I suddenly thought of something, and my whole person became cold.

Yi An said bitterly: "This child can't be wanted, Brother Xibu has to find a way to find medicine for abortion, and there is no such medicine in Yiling Palace." Maybe Sister Xiaocui has it, but we can't go, and if you go, I will be executed by the hall master. I don't want my man to die. ”

Xibu said bitterly: "This is my little life, no matter how fierce the beast is, it will not eat its own children, not to mention that I am a person." I want you to give birth to this child, although my mind is not as smart as Sister Lin Ye, but I am your man, this time you must listen to me. ”

Yi An cried bitterly: "The longer the time passes, the more it can't be hidden, and it is only a matter of time before these people are found in the Yiling Palace." ”

Xibu said solemnly: "If you can hide it for a day, I will confine your house at least, saying that you are training in retreat and will not let other palace maids approach." I personally deliver the food every day. Sister Xiaocui and my aunt and others are in retreat, and it is estimated that they will not come out for more than half a year, as long as the child is born smoothly, I will find a way to send it out of the palace. As long as the child is safe, I will go to my aunt to plead guilty, and we can all die, but this child must not be lost. ”

Yi'an looked at Xibu carefully, this stupid man, at this moment, seemed to have grown up, and he was able to make such a careful plan. In fact, it was Xibu who became smart, but he heard too many such things from Lin Ye, Hu Ji and others in the Zhong Palace. They also take all the bad situations into account for the sake of their children and work out corresponding countermeasures. And what Xibu said is precisely one of them.

Ian asked, "You think of this plan so well?" ”

Xibu replied honestly: "I heard from Sister Hu Ji, she once made the assumption that the bell hall was broken by someone and what she should do, I think this method is very good and very practical for us." ”

Hearing this reply, Yi An couldn't stop crying again, his man still hasn't changed, and he is still the same simple and stupid personality.

Yi An said: "Big brother, remember, if one day something happens to us, you have to insist that the child is not yours, I will randomly find someone in the Praetorian Guard and let him be a substitute for the dead." Only in this way, the child may be fine, and you will not be killed by the hall master. ”

Xibu shook his head directly and said: "No, the Praetorian Guards are all my brothers, and I can't harm them." ”

Yi'an sighed bitterly: "Then change it, if the news leaks, I will say to the king, it is you I bewitched." The child is innocent, and I think the hall master is reluctant to kill you and the child. ”

Xibu shook his head like a rattle, and said: "I can live, you will definitely die, and then change the method." ”

Ian said again: "Or you and I are drunk and disorderly, and it makes a big mistake for a while......"

This night, Ian said many methods, until the day was about to dawn, did not let Xibu come down. The main reason is that he will not deceive Zhongli and Yingzheng, as long as one of them asks, he will not hide it.

When encountering such a man, Yi'an has nothing to do, and the two can only take one step, see one step, and hide it for as long as they can.

Xibu carried out his original intention and kept a close watch on Yi'an's room, not allowing anyone to approach. Even more to the chef, if he dares to reveal it, Xibu will kill him.

The days passed, and on the night of childbirth, Xibu entered Yi'an's room, sealing every crevice in the room, so that Yi'an's pain could not be transmitted to the outside world. And Yi'an was also very strong, gagged his mouth with a strip of cloth, and did not shout during the entire delivery process.

When the child croaks to the ground, hold back the severe pain and cover the baby's mouth. In order to prevent the child from crying, he directly let the child absorb breast milk, and said to Xibu: "The child's cry will be heard by the entire Yiling Palace, so the child can't cry, otherwise we will all die." ”

Xibu nodded painfully, and under the command of Yi'an, he found a wooden box, and the child was to eat before giving breast milk. At all other times, seal the child's mouth with a strip of cloth. This poor little life, from the moment of birth, has never cried out a cry of birth in the world.

It was also during this time that Xibu often went in and out of Huayang Palace, seemingly talking to Mrs. Huayang, but in fact, listening to everyone's information in the palace. Zhong Dian didn't dare to go, let alone see Lin Ye, Qi Run and others, with their understanding of Xibu, it was easy to see something. Only here in Huayang Palace, no one here will doubt him, he wants to find a chance to leave the palace, a chance to secretly send the child out.

This pair of hard-working mandarin ducks struggled in the depths of the Qin Palace for more than a month, and still did not find a chance to send the child out, so they were blocked by Yingzheng in the Yiling Palace.