(a)

Kaohsiung said that in M's life, he spent very little time with M. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 infoMany of these times are spent in the dark.

It was in the same house we had just seen, and M gave him a lot of heart-pounding nights.

After such a night, Kaohsiung's heart would be heavy, as if it would leave his body and disappear into the earth on its own.

Kaohsiung said that on nights like this, M always slept soundly. No matter what you're doing by her side, she won't know. So, M doesn't know how many times Kaohsiung has sat alone at the head of the bed and looked at her when she was asleep.

Although he looked at her like this, Kaohsiung would still leave her.

"I know it's cruel," he said. But, it's like a ship always has to leave the dock. If it never leaves again, it will no longer be a ship. ”

After Kaohsiung said this, he looked at me.

I just wanted to listen to him quietly, but I saw a search in his eyes.

So, I said, "What did you think when you were a kid?" ”

Kaohsiung was puzzled and said, "What? ”

I said, "When you were a child, what did you think about how you spent your life in this world?" ”

I said, "From that time on, you just wanted to make a ship?" ”

Kaohsiung thought for a moment, and then said, "I don't remember." I forget what I thought about when I was a kid. ”

He looked at me and said, "In the process of living in this world, there will always be things that will be forgotten." ”

I bowed my head.

Kaohsiung said: "All people have been like this. I would do the same. ”

"I now understand very well why this is happening," he said. ”

As he said that, I looked out the window. I saw a leaf fall off the tree, it passed by our window, and landed on the floor of the sidewalk.

(b)

M never knew that there were other women in Kaohsiung.

Until a few days ago, she received a call from a woman she didn't know.

She drove out to meet the woman.

When she returned, she sat alone in her bedroom. She didn't call Kaohsiung as usual.

When Kaohsiung suddenly felt as if something was missing in his life, he called M.

M's voice on the phone did not change. She's just a little reticent.

Kaohsiung said he was too busy at the time to notice much.

When Kaohsiung's car turned the corner, he was surprised to see that the white curtain had not been lifted. But he felt that M was still standing behind the window screen.

Kaohsiung took the initiative to dial M's phone again. He asked, "Why didn't you open the curtains today?" ”

M said, "I want to see what happens to you." ”

Kaohsiung said: "What will happen? ”

M said, "I want to see what happens if you can't see me." ”

Kaohsiung said, "I can't see you, but I can feel you." ”

M said, "Then feel it." ”

When Kaohsiung entered the courtyard, he saw the door open softly. M stands in the doorway, and M leans against the door. This time, she didn't fly like a butterfly.

M just leaned there coldly, looking at him.

M still has a white phone in his hand.

Takohsiung opened his arms to M.

When he opened his arms to M, M said, "Goodbye." Mr. Gao. ”

Then, like a feather, she fell to the ground, white foam pouring out of her mouth.

Kaohsiung screamed in fright and rushed over.

After 36 hours, M died after no resuscitation. For a moment, she looked as if she had been saved. But then suddenly the situation deteriorated. She died in the end. She didn't give anything, she didn't leave anything. She just like that, without thinking about it, and went straight to death.

She also never knew that the woman who came to meet her that day was far from the only other woman around Kaohsiung.

In addition to the two of them, there are countless women in Kaohsiung, temporary, short-term, medium- and long-term. She didn't know that there were many other women in Kaohsiung until she died.

When Kaohsiung said this, he couldn't go on.

"She didn't even ask a single question and died for me," he said. ”

"I feel exactly like a murderer now," he said. ”

(c)

After a long time apart, Kaohsiung and I met again.

From that day on, we began to work together in the field of work, and since then, we have never stopped contacting each other.

After M's death, Kaohsiung was very depressed for a while. But then, he forgot about M. He had a new woman by his side. He always has new women around him.

Later, I never heard Kaohsiung talk about this woman named M again. I only know that Kaohsiung later sold the mansion I had seen. Since M slipped and fell at the door, Kaohsiung has never entered that door again.

I don't know if Kaohsiung really forgot about her later.

There's no way to know. We can't know if one person really forgets about another person in their mind. -- unless he wants to let us know.

(iv)

When I was studying, every time I was willing to meet Kaohsiung, he would invite him to dinner. I didn't promise him much, but I did a dozen or so.

Sometimes, when you go out to eat, you will have some friends from both sides join in.

Kaohsiung always politely asked me to choose what I wanted to eat. I choose to eat sushi more often than not. Although there were nowhere near as many sushi restaurants back then.

Whenever he heard me say this, Kaohsiung began to frown. He doesn't like to eat Japanese food. I don't like raw cold, I don't like sourness. He likes the strong and pungent taste, and he likes the feeling of eating meat and drinking in a big bowl.

Once, after eating with a sad face for 20 minutes, Kaohsiung finally looked up to the sky and sighed. He finally said, "I don't understand why you like this!" ”

His sigh made all the ladies laugh.

I said, "Your performance is too unremarkable." ”

"As a person of scientific inquiry, I'm just curious, and I really want to know why you like it," he said. ”

I said, "Because it's beautiful." ”

Kaohsiung said, "Is it pretty? ”

He said: "Why do I always feel like I am facing cold fragments of corpses." ”

His words caused a protest among the ladies.

Amid the opposition and cries of the ladies, I looked at Kaohsiung and said, "It's because of the imminent death that it's so beautiful." ”

I said, "Pale beauty." It's like the last look back of a beauty before she dies. ”

At this time, I noticed that Kaohsiung had shivers all over his body.

He looked at me. He moved his lips, he wanted to say something. But in the end, he didn't say anything. He took a sip of his wine and left the subject.

After that, he did not say anything more on this issue.

(5)

After Vancouver, we met for the first time in the mainland.

Because of the time constraints, he chose a restaurant in the hotel where he stayed. We looked at the location signage of the hotel restaurant together.

Kaohsiung asked me what to eat as usual, and we looked up to the sign, floor by floor. Together, our eyes stopped on a sign at a sushi restaurant.

We thought of the phrase "the last look back of a beautiful woman before she died". We all think of M in our hearts.

I saw that Kaohsiung's smile was a little stiff, and the lines at the corners of his mouth began to fluctuate.

I quickly pointed to another shop on the upper two floors and said, "Why don't we go eat Sichuan food." ”

I said, "It's booming, it's delicious, and it's much more lively when you look at it." ”

Kaohsiung glanced at me, and he didn't speak for a while. Then he said, "So be it, that's what I want to choose." ”

Since then, we've never eaten sushi together alone.

(f)

In the cold winter, I hurried down the streets of New York to the hotel where I was staying.

In the window of a restaurant down the street, I saw the face of an acquaintance.

He was the sushi chef at a restaurant I went to with Kaohsiung when I was a student. Kaohsiung thinks that the sushi he kneaded tastes particularly fresh, and prefers to name him for food.

It seems that this chef has now changed jobs.

I watched his face smile at the street among the many small light bulbs, and in front of the table were many fragments of fresh marine animal carcasses, pink and snow-white, with a cold poignant appearance.

Looking at this photo, I can't help but think of Kaohsiung's expression when he used a fruit fork to penetrate a piece of sushi and pick it up.

I stood in front of the window, looked at it for a while, and left.

The distance between the body and the corpse is really short, not even a step.

Everything is everything else with food, no exceptions.

Gradually, I didn't like eating sushi anymore.