(a)

Time flies. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 infoIt's late spring now.

I sat alone in a rocking chair in the garden, watching the flowers in the yard bloom and fade.

The summer vibe is getting stronger.

I'm 6 months pregnant and my belly is visibly bulging.

After I got pregnant, I was not doing very well, and I was in a state of semi-rest, and basically did not go to work in the office of the magazine. Some work can be done at home.

I spent most of my pregnancy alone. That person went to Europe to participate in an event that he thought was very important.

I think that's also very good. I prefer to be alone now.

Although the marriage is not too long, now, when we are alone with each other, there is nothing to say. There is often an awkward silence between the two sides.

I know that his heart is already somewhere else.

I'm not angry about it either. I don't want to care, I want to know.

There can be no ultimate happiness in marriage. Affection like me and the guide is also separated from each other in the end. Not loving as we are now, and in the end, it is also separated from each other. In the end, there is no difference.

For loving couples, it is sweet in front and painful in the back. For couples who are not in love, although it is very painful in front, when they die, there will be no outright sadness, and they can face it calmly without injury.

Which one is better? The pain is the same, but it appears early or late and is different in location.

There is no such thing as true and stable happiness in worldly life.

I know this very well now, and I don't need anyone else to teach me anymore.

I know what it's like.

(b)

I sat in the garden and couldn't help but think about the time we were still together.

One day, also in late spring, we were walking down the tree-lined roads of the city. On the right is the ancient city wall. In the distance are the tall arches of the stadium.

From time to time, fallen flowers fell from the trees and covered the road under the city walls. It's like they're falling all over the garden floor right now.

At that time, I reached out and grabbed a flower that had been blown off by the wind. Its edges are a little dry and curly, but overall it looks pretty bright.

I said, "This flower is blooming fine, but I can't bear to wither so early." If only it could go back to the branches. ”

You look at the palm of my hand. You shake your head. You flicked it lightly and let the flowers fall from my palm.

I watched as it fell to the ground and merged with the petals all over the ground.

You say, "Let it go." Don't stop it from falling. It's like we haven't stopped it from blooming. ”

You look at the falling flowers all over the ground, and you say, "Isn't that good?" ”

You say, "The next spring, it will naturally return to the branches." If you're willing to let it fall to the ground right now. ”

"Next year's flowers are no longer the flowers of the moment." I say.

"Next year, you won't be the same person you are now." You said.

I said, "Isn't the world, then, an endless farewell?" ”

You say, "Yes." But, at the same time, there are endless reunions. ”

(c)

It was the twilight of spring that year.

Your office.

"Gifts." You put something on the table.

I picked it up.

I said, "Kaleidoscope? ”

I'm looking at you.

You nodded.

I said, "I used to play this when I was a kid." Haven't played it in years. ”

I lifted it, looked through the glass, and I looked inside, and I turned it and looked inside.

Countless flowers change and combine.

I said, "The most amazing thing is that no matter how many times we turn it, there is no repetition of the pattern." ”

I put it down. I'm looking at you. I said, "Why did you give me this toy?" ”

You say, "This is not a toy." This is a teaching aid. Gives you a fresh look at what's going on inside. ”

You say, "Sometimes, when something happens in the vast universe, it is not easy for us to know it because of its magnitude. It's easier to see it when you look at it in such a small paper tube. ”

I fiddled with the kaleidoscope. I said, "What's going on inside?" “

You say, "No matter how it appears, there's always just the scraps of paper." It's always the same thing. It hasn't changed. There is no increase, no decrease. There is no disappearance, and there is no new life. What has changed is that the combination of confetti appears, and it does not turn when it stops, but in fact, nothing has changed. ”

I'm looking at you. I said, "So? ”

You say, "Heart." This is the cause of all things in the universe. The world, billions of things, billions of changes, but these are just a combination of confetti, not the original face of the world. ”

You say, "So, when our world changes dramatically, we have to understand that, in fact, nothing has changed." ”

I said, "So? ”

You say, "So, let it go, let those confetti shine for a while, dissipate for a while, appear for a while, disappear for a while." It doesn't matter. ”

You start to clean up the things on the table. As you clean up, you say, "Keep this teaching aid." Later, when everything you like changes, take it out and look at it. ”

You say, "Although you will never see the original pattern again, although no matter how many times you turn it, you will never see the original pattern again, but you have to understand that all the patterns are the confetti that you have seen before, all of them are it." ”

You say, "Xinxin, if we are to part with each other again in this life and never see each other again, you must remember what I said to you today, and think calmly and deeply about it. Don't dwell on grief. ”

I said, "If something like this happens, will we meet again?" ”

You say, "Of course." ”

I said, "Will it be a long time?" ”

You say, "It's up to you." ”

I said, "Look at me? ”

You say, "yes." If you can recognize my new look, it will be very fast. If you don't recognize it, it's going to be a long time. ”

You say, "It's up to you, whether you are deluded by the image of the flowers that live and die, and you can't have a clear insight into the truth." ”

I said, "I'm not going to keep you waiting." ”

(iv)

I turned my eyes away from the flowers in the garden.

I have taken my mind back from the remembrance of you.

I said to myself, "It's all just a kaleidoscope. There are endless changes, and they are all fakes. ”

I said, "None of this is true. I can't fall for illusions. ”

I said to myself, "I haven't proven it myself, but I have to trust the guidance." He would never lie to me. Why did he lie to me? He loved me so much that he endured the deep pain of this life and bore the karmic retribution of the past in order to comfort me. He just wanted to tell me about his enlightenment and discovery during the long years of separation. He wouldn't lie to me, even if it was for comfort. He has been guiding me to see this truth. ”