(a)

The female singer held the microphone in front of her tightly, closed her eyes, raised her head high, and sang excitedly:

"Without your hug when you wake up,

Without the gestures you make when you speak,

Without your tacit understanding,

Without your impossible dreams and plans,

Without your friendship and care,

Since then, I have endured the unspoken pain,

What should I do with this lonely heart? ”

"Without those moments of passion,

And those quiet afternoons,

Breathing on the sea,

Without your eyes again in my eyes,

My hands melt as they wait for your skin,

Filled my lonely heart. ”

"Without your moon every night,

Without your voice in every breath,

Nothing is certain except your goodbye,

What should I do? What if I can't be with you anymore?

How can you live without you!

Teach me to open the sky again,

I can't live without you!

I'm drowning in everyday memories,

Tell me what I should do without you!

I need your enthusiastic encouragement,

Please find me a seat in your gentleness......"

(b)

Your shadow, Kaohsiung's shadow, and the shadow of the wind and snow moon appear in front of my eyes.

I felt a little unbearable.

I said, "I don't want to listen to music like that anymore, and there's no need to sing like that." ”

I said, "These young children, they haven't experienced real trauma yet, so they're very sensitive to pain, and they feel like the whole world is filling the whole world at the slightest bit of unhappiness." They also crave great passion experiences, thinking that there is something in them that will make life seem less empty. ”

I said, "One day, when they really have experienced the deep pain of this world, like us, they will be silent and sit in the most secluded corner, like us, silently nibbling on sandwiches and eating mashed potatoes." ”

Mr. Yichen couldn't help but laugh, and he said gently: "To live, you always have to endure all kinds of things that make us feel bad. ”

"Getting older makes us more and more capable of doing this," he said. People need years to be tempered. ”

He held up the martini and said, "As the years go by." ”

I held up the peppermint passion fruit juice and clinked glasses with him and said, "As the years go by." ”

(c)

Mr. Yichen said: "In addition to having a drink, please come out because there is an important thing that I have to say to you." ”

He took out a large cowhide envelope from his bag and pushed it to me from the table.

He said: "I wanted to do this, it's been a long time, and there are always all kinds of obstacles, and I can't make it. ”

He said: "Now, I have finally figured out that all the trivial things in this world will never end. It's impossible to wait until everything is done and you have free time to do what you want to do. If you want to do something, you have to drop everything right away and do it with all your might. Trivialities will only end when you let them go categorically. ”

He motioned for me to open the envelope and see what it contained.

I picked up the cowhide envelope, and the feeling of uneasiness in my heart suddenly became very strong again.

I overlapped the scene of your residence in front of me, opened the drawer, and saw the white envelope inside.

I don't know why, but I felt in my heart that these two envelopes contained the same thing.

I looked at Yi Chen. He smiled at me.

I opened the envelope and looked down at the contents.

Unspeakable grief rose from my heart.

Life is all about repetition.

My hunch was correct. Inside are the results of Mr. Yi Chen's recent physical examination. He had liver cancer. Late mid-to-late stage.

I looked at Yichen across the table.

I said, "No." Not ......"

Yi Chen looked at me and fully understood my mood at the moment.

They, one by one, left me. All mentors and friends.

Mr. Yichen said: "It has been reviewed. The conclusion is unmistakable. ”

He said, "I know you've been able to take it bravely now, right? ”

I was silent for a moment.

I said, "Aren't you going to get treated?" ”

Mr. Yichen shook his head.

He said, "No one else can understand me, you can, right, Xinxin?" ”

Yes. I can understand. In fact, the guidance you will give up on treatment at the last moments.

If I were in the same situation, I thought, this is also my choice.

It is unwise to resist the inevitable inevitability. The energy of life should be spent on saving things that can still be saved.

I understand Yichen's decision very well. However, when I heard him say that he had decided to give up treatment, I was still very sad.

People are like that, reason and emotion, always and often in conflict with each other.

Mr. Yichen took the wine glass and said to me, "Strictly speaking, I have been doing futile things all my life. Whether it's compiling a book, writing, drawing, photography, getting married, or raising children, all of these will end with death. I haven't done anything beyond death. Neither for myself nor for others. ”

I said, "Aren't we studying the Dharma together?" Buddhism is the path of transcending life and death. ”

Mr. Yichen said: "It is not enough to study theoretically. It's like when we are sick, the doctor prescribes us medicine, and we study the prescription every day, and recite the prescription, but we can't cure the disease. Only by taking medication can it be effective. We have to do what the Buddha taught. ”

"I decided to apply for retirement and go to Dzongtong Monastery in Thailand to become a monk and meditate in the forest," he says. ”

(iv)

"Huh?" I was really shocked by him.

I forgot the sadness in my heart and looked at Yichen with a blank mind.

This was the first time in my life that someone so close to me had told me that he had decided to become a monk.

Looking at my shocked expression, Mr. Yichen smiled and said, "Why are you so surprised? I've had this thought for a long time. When I saw the results of this physical examination, my reaction in my heart was to be happy. I'm so happy that with this added motivation, I can finally make up my mind to do what I've always wanted to do. I want to leave this life as a monk. In this way, a better start can be given to the next life. ”

He said: "Becoming a monk is a very blessed thing, and even if you can become an emperor and a general, you may not be blessed to become a monk and practice. You should be happy for me. ”

I said, "Are you really going to give up on treatment?" ”

Mr. Yichen said, "I haven't given up on treatment, Xinxin. I'm starting to do real therapy. Life and death are life's greatest dangers, and this is true for all people. Neither Chinese medicine nor Western medicine can save this serious problem. I decided that if I wanted to be treated, I had to cure it from the roots. ”

He said, "Don't you support my treatment? Mr. Wang Chongyang, a Chinese Taoist, once said: Life and death are like ulcers. In this world, except for life and death, there is nothing like it, and it is not a futile idle matter. ”

(5)

I said, "Are you going to get out of here?" ”

Yi Chen said, "Yes." I went to Thailand and never came back. ”

I said, "When?" ”

Yi Chen said, "Next week." I wish it had been a little faster. Time waits for no man. I don't know when, as soon as my condition changes, I will not be able to walk. The wish of the heart will be disappointed again. ”