(a)

"On the eve of any sudden death, the moment of farewell is always uneventful. Pen Fun Pavilion www.biquge.info"

Thursday afternoon.

On that day, my role was to wear a school uniform, stand at the door of the venue to greet guests, and be responsible for guiding guests to their seats.

I was standing there, and all the characters in the story had passed me and walked into the venue.

School leaders, deans of students, director of academic affairs, the Brown family, Instructor Wang, teachers, teammates, and students. One by one, they passed me and entered the field.

To me, they're just shooting stars across the sky.

I'm just waiting for you to show up. Wait for the school to send a car to pick you up.

I wait for you, the last time to arrive in my life.

I saw Principal Cheng's car coming towards the training ground in the distance.

The car stopped in front of me. The door opened.

I see you. You're wearing the same tracksuit we wore on the first day we met. Because you've lost so much weight, the outfit now doesn't look as ironed and fitted as it used to be, and looks a little empty and baggy.

Mr. Chai came down first, went around, and helped you open the car door, and then he beckoned me to come over and help you get out of the car. He himself ran into the arena to inform everyone that you were here.

You get out of the car slowly. Your feet hit the ground. You stand for a moment holding on to the door, making sure you don't fall over. Then you turn around and pick up your sports bag in the back seat of your car.

I watched as you moved slowly and carefully. You're in pain. You're enduring the pain that persists within. My heart began to bleed. I left where I was supposed to stand. I'm going to you.

"I'll help you get your bag." I helped take your sports bag off from the back seat. I held it in my hand.

Your eyes fall on my face. You look at me. You say, "Okay." Thank you. ”

You say, "Let's go in." ”

I'm habitually about two feet behind you.

This is how we walked to the diversioned entrance. We're about to be on everyone's radar.

I looked at your hands and saw that they were still shaking slightly uncontrollably. My heart trembled.

At that moment, you turned around, you grabbed my arm, you gently pulled me.

You don't really have much strength, but I can't help but take a step forward with your heart's desire. So, we stood side by side.

You look at me, and you say, "Is that okay?" ”

As you spoke, they took me by the hand.

All the blood rushed to my face.

I winced in panic as your hand took mine.

Then I look at you. You look at me for a moment, and you squeeze my hand as hard as you can.

I could feel that not only were your hands shaking, in fact, your whole arm was shaking. No, it's not just your whole arm, your whole body, it's shaking like that.

I can no longer defy your will. I stopped flinching and let you hold my hand.

You calmly say, "Let's go in." ”

You just like that, holding my hand, and walking into the venue.

We walked into the venue hand in hand.

This is what you said to Director Wang, the mistake you will make on this day, the mistake that you ask him to forgive in advance.

(b)

On that day, we walked into the venue hand in hand. It was the only time in our lives that we did it publicly.

I felt the gaze fall on us like a torrential rain. The raindrops were so dense that you could barely open your eyes.

The armor on my back stood up in an instant.

At this moment, your hand tightened again, and I felt you use all your strength in the trembling.

You just like that, holding my hand, standing quietly in everyone's field of vision.

All the people are looking at you. All the people looked at me. All of them don't know what to do. Everyone feels that something should be done, but nothing is appropriate.

I heard a slight thump and the glasses of a teacher sitting closer to the entrance fell on his knee. He hurriedly pressed it.

I saw that Instructor Wang and Teacher Chai both had their mouths open, and their expressions looked as if their jaws were about to fall. They looked at each other.

Immediately, Director Wang walked over to us quickly.

Director Wang is looking at you. His eyes were full of words. He says to you with his eyes, "Don't do that! ”

You answer him with your eyes: "I told you that today I was going to make a mistake. Please let me, make this mistake. ”

You exchange glances. Director Wang stood very close to you, and he sensed that your whole body was shaking uncontrollably.

He succumbed. So, he looked down at the ground.

Then he says to you, "Are you coming?" The Headmaster and Mr. Brown's family have arrived. Everyone is waiting for you. ”

Director Wang looked at me while talking to you.

I winced slightly again under his gaze, and I wanted to retreat to where I belonged. But your fingers don't let go, you keep your grip on me.

I know it's too hard for you to exert that kind of strength right now! I couldn't bear to move. I couldn't bear to do anything to break free.

Later, I found out why you did that.

Because, you know, what I'm going to do then, you want all the people to understand the reason for my performance, you want all the people to understand me, to forgive me, to take care of my grief.

You know, I'm going to have to behave badly that day. You know, I don't have what it takes to perform well.

You want to help me one last time, so that my subsequent days can be a little easier, and I will have to endure a little less of the painful interrogation after the Xiyuan incident.

At this time, I heard the voice of your heart speaking to me.

You said to me silently in your heart, "Xinxin, take my hand and don't let go." If you don't feel strong enough, you can hold my hand all the time. I'll hold you. Don't let go of me until you have enough strength. ”

I silently respond to you in my heart: "Okay. Dear You, I will take your hand and let you lead me and receive the power of your blessings, so that I can always be on the right path and not deviate. ”

I looked at you.

You smile a little at me.

That was the last time you held my hand in this life, and it was the last time you passed on your power to me.

(c)

Director Wang looked at us.

He sighed silently in his heart.

He said, "Go meet Mr. Brown, and see, he's coming this way." ”

You nodded. You let go of my hand.

I'll hand you the sports bag. You say, "Thank you." Director Wang reached out and took the bag.

I'm looking at you. I said to myself, "Be careful, don't get tired. ”

You nodded. You walked over to Mr. Brown and Principal Cheng, and Mr. Chai hurried over and followed you and accompanied you.

I stepped aside silently.

Director Wang dragged me from behind. He dragged me to his place.

As you chatted with the principal and Mr. Brown, Director Wang tilted his head slightly.

His eyes look at you, and he asks me in a low voice, "Why did you come in with him like this?" ”

My eyes are on you, too. I whispered, "He grabbed my hand." His whole body was trembling. I couldn't bear to break away. ”

I whispered sadly, "This is the last time he's walked in here." ”

Director Wang looked at me, his lips moved, and he didn't say anything more.

(iv)

All hand-holding, in the end, has to let go.

No matter how reluctant it is.

There are no exceptions.