[Master, do you know who I'm thinking? [Yesterday's female benefactor. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 How do you know. 【I'm thinking about it too.】 【Then how do you sleep?】 [That's the daughter of the great abbot, and it's useless to think about it. 】

[Master, I guess I've been in the temple for a short time, I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself. [Do you still miss her?] [Hmm.] [Then don't control it, pass on a set of ecstasy scriptures to your teacher.] 【Why don't you use it?】 [This scripture has a lifetime of one thought, one thought and one fate, I already have your teacher. [Damn, then I'll wait and see if there's a more suitable one.] [, it's useless, you'll get tired.] 】

[Little monk, I heard you like me? [It's hard to say that I like it, but I just mess up when I see you] [I heard that you still want to marry me? [It's hard to say that I want to marry, I just want to be with you forever.] [MB, Flim Flam, you're a Libra, right? [Amitabha, the heart is straightforward and fast, the female benefactor is not a scorpion, right? ] Let's just get together] [Hello uncle, do you Buddhist disciples still believe this? How did my dad lead the team. 】

[Master, why do we ring the bell in the morning? [Because we don't have chickens.] 】

[Master, when will you teach me martial arts? [People in Buddhism, compassion for the heart, the abbot has an order, we are a pure small temple, we can't learn Shaolin shouting and shouting and killing. For the teacher to pass on all your scriptures, read and read through, the heart is strong, see those who embroider the legs with fists, the tongue is bright, and destroy them as if they were playing. 【Master, I understand, knowledge is power. 】

[Huh? How did you swell up like this? Going to tease Xiaobei again? [No, the people of Shaolin beat it. 【Why?】 [I'm with them with a lotus tongue.] [Alas, you believe everything I say, it's so cute.] 】

[Master, "Yijin Jing" sounds very NB, I want to learn. [It is a local method that brings pleasure to oneself by stimulating the meridians, and it is practiced by monks who can't afford marijuana and can't catch up with the girl.] [I seem to be....] [But I'm not, so I won't, oh yes.] 】

[Master, can I not stay in the temple tonight? [Don't pretend, I've also done the thing of going out to freeze and coming back to blow NB with my brothers and sisters, I want to open a little, the color is empty. 】

[Master, did any monks commit suicide? [Yes, but all the temples have blocked the news, Buddhism is already a place to escape from the present world, you are still dead when you come, doesn't it seem that we are unprofessional when you spread it? If you are not happy in this life, will you be happy in the next life? These people are stupid. 【Then you must be unhappy in the next life?】 [Ho, raise the bar with me? Then you die. [Look at you, debate the scriptures, be careful. 】

[Master, do you believe in Western Bliss? [That's all a lie to the donors.] 】

[For the teacher, I will give you the Dharma name Che Dan, which is clear and clear, mellow and like Dan. 【Master, what am I doing to you.....] [You are content, your senior brother Yu Dan didn't say anything. 】

[Master, why is your legal name called Empty Boat? [The abbot said that I can't save people, and it is difficult to save myself, so I give the name of the empty boat, and I will be self-controlled. [Then why am I still following you....] [You are too obsessed, and you can't go to the other side with anyone, so it's better to simply bear the burden with me. 【Why?】 [You see, you always ask why. 】

[Master, I should actually call you Master, right?] [It's okay.,How the input method is defaulted, it's called it.,Follow the fate.。 】

[Master, who is your Master?] 【The Great Abbot.】 [What about his?] [His master is the founder of our temple, it is said that he was mixed back then, and then he picked up a book on the road, so he pulled a vote of brothers, occupied the mountain as the king, made good connections, and did the work of all sentient beings. 【Our temple still has this background? 【Otherwise, why do you think we haven't been annexed by Shaolin yet?】 】

[Master, why don't Xiaobei and her mother live in the temple? 【The great abbot is afraid that the impact will not be good. [Then why can my sister live in the temple? [I'm a monk, and I still care about what the impact is. 】

[Everything is like a dream instant noodles, garlic if there is garlic, even if there is no garlic, the view is free, looking at the distant mountains, everything has a way, as it is] [Master, I love to eat rice. 】【..... Okay, today's breakfast, ah no, that's it for the morning class. 】

[Withdraw Dan, I heard that you were caught stealing chickens? Stealing chickens in broad daylight, you're really creative. 【Master, it's okay, I said I'm from Shaolin.】 【Well, good boy, what about the chickens?】 Hurry up and send it to your master, monks can't kill. [Besides, we won't stew. [Amitabha, this child, so cute. 】

[Master, other temples are called abbots, why do we have to be called abbots? [Doesn't this seem to be our atmosphere? 【Then I'll call you Master in the future, right?】 [Hey, you're waiting for me here!] 】

They all see it very clearly, and they all live very incomprehensibly———— Zen Master Kongzhou and the gentlemen encourage each other.

[Master, why is our temple called the Relic Temple? [It's a long story.] Originally, it was called the Righteous Temple, and the master of the underworld of the great abbot took it, and then he died, and the great abbot said that this name was too unZen, so it was called the Suspicious Temple. Who knew that there was a plague that year, and it was supposed to be the time when the incense was booming, but the people did not come to our temple, so it was changed to a relict temple. There are also people who propose to call Yi Temple, let the abbot no, he said, who is Meng, what kind of home are you really so easy? 】

[Little monk, do you like me? 】【Like】【Monks don't speak? 【The monks don't even eat meat, they don't even soak the girls, do you dare to believe their words?】 My master said that the words of the monks are all slang. Xiaobei, this is not what the monks said, this is what I said, I like you. 】

[Master, why is it so dark everywhere today?] [Che Dan, we Buddhists, don't learn from other people's acupuncture and disadvantages. The morning rooster announces the dawn, the crows are noisy, and they are all making trouble in the red dust, do you think the black and white red dust is not the red dust? The living are not dead? Alas, go and ask your sister to eat. 】

[Master, in fact, you haven't read the Ecstasy Sutra to your master, have you? 【How do you know?】 【I heard yesterday that my sister asked you to kneel on the washboard】【... It's a little game between our husband and wife] [Why don't you read it, won't you listen to all of you if you read it?" [How can you believe these pseudo-scientific things, besides, if she listens to me all, what is the point of us being together.] 】

【Master】【Huh? 【Then why did you ask me to recite the Ecstasy Sutra to Xiaobei?】 [Anyway, you can't catch up with others, and the dead scriptures should be recited as the living scriptures. If you succeed and prove this sutra, how many bhikshus and monks will be blessed, you will have a great merit. 【Master, if I can't beat you, I'll fight with you】

[Master, but isn't love itself pseudoscience? [Who said no, you look at these pilgrims, asking for signatures, asking eight characters, with constellations, ordinary people, aren't these pseudosciences greedy? If they all learn the science, my Buddha will have nothing to eat. 】

[Master, what is science? [This kid, I want to understand that I'm still staying here?] What a fuss. However, it is said that the great abbot understands, he said, science is a flower and a world, that is, infinite reincarnation is infinitely far away, that is, something that no one can say, that is, something that is more pseudo-scientific than pseudoscience. Let's not think about this, so as not to accidentally give an epiphany. 】

[Master, it's a storm. [Che Dan, don't be emotional. 】

[Master, Che Dan openly pursued the daughter of the great abbot, disregarded the rules and precepts, and undermined the stability and unity of the temple, so please discipline the master. [Okay, look at your unproductive appearance, and you have learned to buckle people's hats? Have you learned to be righteous and awe-inspiring? And is there a little bit of a monk's appearance! 】

[Che Dan, did you fight with your brothers? [Yes.] What is the matter? [They said I shouldn't chase Xiaobei, but in fact they were jealous. [Well, if you have seen through it is jealousy, why fight with them? [I didn't fight, they fought. [Alas, the effect of force is mutual, don't you really fight? You're still too obsessed. Forget it, come, I will teach you a set of women's self-defense techniques for the teacher, so that you will not suffer a loss. 】

[Master, I have been in the temple since I was a child, what about my father and mother? [Why do you ask such a cliché question?] Do you want to tell you that I am actually your father? 【Master, we are monks, but we are not allowed to play with ethics. [You're still playing with me at eight o'clock. 】

[Master, do you say that the great abbot knows about me and Xiaobei? 【The Great Abbot doesn't know anything.】 [Then why doesn't he care?] Does he think I'm okay? [Don't stink, the abbot has confidence in his daughter. 】

[Che Dan, how do you feel about this travel? Is it fun there? [Master, you even ask this kind of question, in your words, what is not fun in this red dust. [Alas, the main thing is that your sister wants to make up for the honeymoon. 】

[Master, the temple is so quiet. [Then what else do you say.] 】

[Master, my heart is in turmoil. 【Go to the root of the wall and rub it, don't see me here, don't bother me.】 【Master, why do you want to settle down?】 [My heart is in turmoil. 】

【Empty boat! Your apprentice, what is the name of the Dan Retreat, why is he gone, has he gone out to travel? Why don't you ask my dad for leave! So presumptuous! [Hahaha, Xiaobei, you are moved. 】

[Master, you say, Xiaobei and I, am I being amorous? [Although it is bitter to do it, but looking at the way you enjoy it, you must be happy to be amorous, what else are you complaining about? ] [Don't fight me haha, I know Xiaobei came to me today, what did she say? [Don't ask, what if it's not a good word?] 】

[Xiaobei, I think Shaolin's vegetarian dishes are pretty good, can I invite you to eat them? ] [If you don't eat it, you love meat.] [Xiaobei, I think the Tsing Yi of the opera troupe in Shilipo can sing well, can I invite you to listen? ] [Don't listen, it's not as good as my voice.] 【Xiaobei, are you angry with me? 【Birth..... Ay? Bear! 】

[It's over, Xiaobei, we have a disagreement, it must be me who is wrong, I decided to listen to you! 【Really? 【Really】【Then I can sing】【..........】

[Xiaobei, you sing so well, can you teach me? ] [Come on, your chanting is out of tune. 】

Buddhism is not two, the Buddha does not distinguish between right and wrong, joy and sorrow, the Buddha sees that he has a fate to teach him to be transformed, and he who sees no fate to teach him reincarnation. Later, the Buddha saw you, the Buddha was two, the Buddha did not distinguish between right and wrong, you are happy, you are not sad, from now on you are the Dharma, the Buddha is not universal to all sentient beings, the Buddha is decadent, the Buddha is purified by you, but the Buddha is happy. ———— the love letter of Zen Master Kongzhou back then, attracted to you.

[Che Dan, being a teacher is to let you coax Xiaobei to show you my love letters, you just study it yourself, why are you yelling everywhere? ] 【Master, you're quite embarrassed. [No, it wasn't written for your master back then.....] [I said why are you a little swollen.....]

My master and my sister have gone to bed early, my brother and my brothers have also slept, Xiaobei, you have already slept too, right? I think you should go to sleep too.

[Master, you haven't lectured on the scriptures for a long time. Aren't you the most annoyed to listen to the scriptures? [I think that if you want to live with Xiaobei in the future, you still have to have a skill, you see, don't you just rely on good scripture recitation to retain your master and become a Zen master? [This kid, don't tell others this, come, tell you a piece of strictness for the teacher, I am familiar with this life. 】

[Che Dan, chanting scriptures is just the basic skill, to be a good monk you have to be able to unravel, tend to demons, look at feng shui, do charity, psychological counseling, make up the other side, pretend to be open, pretend to be compassionate, pretend to be smiling. There is no end to Buddhism, so you can learn it slowly. 【Master, it's so difficult to be a monk, why don't we become monks?】 】

[These scriptures and meanings are indeed the skills of settling down and establishing one's life, and it is practiced to the point where you can casually occupy the maze and point out the maze, and the more you point, the more confused you are. But I'm afraid that your motives are too pure, and you are obsessed, and in the future, Xiaobei will turn around and leave, and the water will hit the wanderer, don't really fall into the scriptures, then the gods and Buddhas will be difficult to save. [It's okay, I'll follow Xiaobei when he goes.] [Yes, this is hopeless.] 】

[Che Dan, have you been drinking? [Hmm.] 【White beer?】 【Why don't I spit it out and you taste it?】 】

[Silly boy, it's not wine that can be spit out. 【Master, do you think I'm not drunk?】 [You have to ask Xiaobei about this. 【Xiaobei ignores me. [Well, you're not drunk. 】

[Master, our temple can send you to this Central Plains Debate Conference, right? [No, of course I sent you Uncle Kongxiang. [He? He's not as good as me in reciting scriptures, right? [But he has a loud voice, there are hundreds of monks at the conference, and in the end, those who can still shout without breaking the sound are considered victorious. 】

[Master, can I go with me?] Want to see the world? [Forget it, every year the debate conference has to hurt a few monks, the temple sent you karate this year, ah no, Uncle Kongdao accompanied and protected. cough, if it weren't for Shaolin's shamelessness last time, he would have taken a guy there, our temple would have been the first last year, and they would have been the opponents of the empty road. 】

[Has our temple won the first? [In the first year of the temple, the master of the great abbot thought of a ruthless trick in order to break into fame, deliberately late on the day of the debate, and waited for the monks to argue to the hearty place, kicked and smashed the door, pay attention, it was kicked and broken, and he shouted in the hall: Dayin Xisheng. Those monks are stupid, and they are not stupid to look at the wood scum in that place and pretend to be stupid, the first is ours. 】

[This trick is good, use it again.] [Don't mention it, there were indeed people who imitated it later, did the same action, and were waiting for applause after shouting, then the old monk of the judge was so angry that he scolded, your performance art is endless? It doesn't matter if you don't pay for kicking the bad door, you always use the words in the "Tao Te Ching" to pretend to be Buddhism, can we still meet with Taoist priests in the future! Get the hell out of here! [Hahaha, who is this unlucky bastard? 【Our Great Abbot.】 】

[The Great Abbot has done this? [Who hasn't been young, when I come back, I feel that my feet hurt as well as my throat, and I have to work hard to debate the scriptures, so I practice vocal music hard. Xiaobei sings well, right? Inherit his father's. Your Uncle Kongxiang is the temple that he entered at that time, and this is what he learned. 】

[Did the great abbot go to debate the scriptures later?] [I've been there a few times and never went again, since he had Xiaobei, he has become the current look of enlightenment, and he also changed his legal name, called Nanwu, which seems to mean refuge. 】

[What was the name of Dafang Station before? [Nanzi, his underworld master gave it, saying that it sounded domineering. Later, the great abbot learned that he had read the "Analects", and the name was actually bad for the abbot's lack of domineering. [Hahaha, I'm afraid that hooligans are educated. 】

[Master, why do I feel my head sink every time I wake up at noon?] 【You're too obsessed. [What should I do?] 】【.... Don't take a nap in the future. 】

[Master, we monks don't do serious things, how can so many people be monks. 【This dynasty respects the Buddha, and if you can recite Amitabha, you will not die of hunger. Besides, people who do serious things always have to spend money on these improper things, which are all born out of the right place, and you don't have to worry about not going. 】

[Then what if one day this dynasty does not respect the Buddha?] [Monks, don't learn from others to think deeply, think deeply, and in the end, all the worries are left. When a monk hits a clock for a day, when the time comes, we will transform into a Taoist priest, why not buy a wig set. 】

[Master! Hurry up, Xiaobei asked me to accompany her to go shopping, and quickly find me a clean and good-looking monk's robe. [Silly child, on this hot day, you still have to take so many things, what kind of monk's clothes to wear, your master was stinky last time I went shopping with me, and I took a Zen stick, and I came back with heat stroke. 【Master...】【Che Dan, exercising, sharpening patience, and practicing are also considered to be cultivating, let's go, alas, eat more at noon.] 】

[Master, Uncle Kongxiang is back? Why didn't you see Uncle Kongdao? [The empty sound debated for three days and three nights, until the group of monks were speechless, and they heard him shout alone, of course, first. But the Shaolin debater was not convinced, and pointed to your empty uncle's hair in a dumb voice, meaning that it was not a Buddhist disciple who kept his hair, and the mute monks in a hall stared at the empty road and shouted, and the empty way took care of the overall situation and shaved his head on the spot. When I came back, I hid in the house and cried, but I didn't see anyone]

[That's right, why can Uncle Kongdao keep his hair? [It's a long story, Kongdao was smuggled from Japan to my Central Plains to seek Buddhism, but this stupid guy is still fashionable and believes in Confucianism, and his body is not damaged, isn't this unlucky, no temple wants him. The great abbot saw that he was full of martial arts and had a simple temperament, so he stayed and learned Japanese by the way. 【The Great Abbot can also speak Japanese?】 [Hai. 】

[No, your Uncle Kongdao can't swallow this breath, so I have to go to Shaolin with him for the sake of the teacher. 【Good!】 Get justice! [Be quiet, what to shout, what to ask for justice, where is so much justice, people in Buddhism, you can't be competitive, you can quietly give the grandson who lost and is not convinced to give a dull stick. 】

[Master, where is my master? 【Seven days of retreat, concentrating on the Dharma.】 【Then what should I do if I practice?】 [I'll teach you.] 【You? 【What's the matter?】 Isn't it just the set of Pudu sentient beings, let alone Pudu sentient beings, we will also be enlightened. 】

[Master, you still teach me something serious, how can I please the girl? How can I get Xiaobei to see me? [I can teach you a lot of the truths that please the girl, but this is just like the big truths that your master taught you, when it comes to people and things, the truths are useless. Xiaobei is a catastrophe, and all disasters must be spent by themselves. [Ahem, I don't know what I want you two to do. 】

[Master, why did you get out? Enlightened? 【Nope.】 【Then why did you get out of the customs in six days, didn't you have to retreat for seven days?】 【If you don't realize it in six days, can you realize it in seven days?】 The meaning is meaningful. 】

[Che Dan, you should also retreat, lose weight, whiten, increase melancholy and mystery, and become silent and silent. Oh, if you say that, you should really let your master and mother also go into retreat. 【Do you dare to tell your teacher? [Don't dare.] 】

[Master, Xiaobei completely ignored me, what should I do. 【You ask me, who do I ask.】 [Then those donors have troubles, why do they come to ask you.] [That's not asking me, it's asking me Buddha.] 【Then I also ask me about the Buddha.】 【Ask me about the Buddha for a fee.】 】

[Master, today is the Buddha's birthday. 【Then you can hatch it.】 】

[Master, you are so disrespectful, today is the birthday of the Buddha, the birthday of the Buddha!] [Hmm.] 【What are you?,Let's not express it?】 【Are you familiar with the Buddha?】 Did the Buddha use it to express you? Did you express your teacher's birthday? Have you expressed your birthday? You, just make all these vain efforts. 】

Xiaobei, the weather is fine today, but it may rain in a while, I'm thinking about you now, but maybe more after a while. My Master said that there is nothing more unpredictable than the weather. I think he's right, he's always right, Xiaobei, whether it rains or not, I'll miss you more in a while.

[Master, what did that foreigner do just now? [Those who came to preach said that let's stop believing in the Buddha and believe in Jesus, which is so cute, as if we originally believed in the Buddha. 】

[Why don't you let people in?] 【Do you canspeakEnglish?】 As a teacher, you can barely understand, the abbot will speak, but these missionaries are tenacious, and your abbot is too lazy to bother to enlighten him, and it is not appropriate to beat him, so he drove him away. 】

[Isn't it a tendon? How can you get rid of it? [The abbot said, my Central Plains Mahayana authentic Buddhism is all from Shaolin, if Shaolin converts to Jesus, there is no reason for us to disbelieve in the small temple. As soon as the foreigner heard that it made sense, he went to Shaolin. 【Is the Great Abbot borrowing a knife to kill someone?】 [Yo, you still have a fancy for the art of war? If you know it in your heart, you will get it. 】

【Empty boat! Your relics are too much, this missionary can't be beaten, and you can't persuade you to leave, so how can we get Shaolin to let us come? 【Amitabha, what are you arguing about, don't you love to receive foreign guests? Take out the pomp and circumstance of the largest temple in the Central Plains, and treat him well, maybe one day he will be probationed, and he will return to the West to teach Buddhism for us. 】

[Master, why don't we do a clean run in the morning class recently?] 【Monks, it is not appropriate to be too fat, it will affect credibility. Keeping in shape, with ethereal eyes, a shiny crown, and a neat monk's robe, are all considered work ethic. 】

[Master, it's so foggy on the mountain today, I can't look out. 【Can you look out without fog?】 Look at something, watch your feet. 】

[Master, the thunder was so loud last night. [Well, it's not just thunder, you are shouting at Uncle Kongxiang and Ya. 【What are you shouting?】 ["Be quiet! Be quiet! "That's it. 】

[Later, the rain stopped, the thunder stopped, and your Uncle Kongxiang laughed and said Amitabha, are you not convinced? Oh yes, and then I went to sleep. [I said that everyone laughed at how he looked at it today, and he was triumphant. [That's a hoarse voice, or it will be displayed early.] 】

[Che Dan, you always have Xiaobei in your heart, and you have become obsessed and unenlightened, and if you continue like this, I am afraid that it will affect your cultivation. 【What should I do then?】 [You still have to find Xiaobei for relief. 】【..... If I beg for this, she will kill me. 】

[Master, how can empty words propagate the Tao? I had to learn karate from Uncle Kudo. [Well, this upper joint is good, if you can make the next joint yourself, I will let you learn. 【Damn!】 】

[What do you rely on, your empty Taoist uncle is devoted to Confucianism, although he is excellent in martial arts, but he is a literati, he loves a pair, you have to learn sooner or later] [In the reality of Buddhism, everything is empty, there is no birth, no death, no going, no coming, how can there be a relative? Master, you actually let me learn such a small technique that is contrary to the teachings of Buddhism. [Where is all the nonsense, let you learn and you will learn, and you can earn some pocket money by writing Spring Festival couplets during the New Year]