"If it rains for a while, there probably won't be any guests coming over today," Chi Feichi sat down on the sofa and explained as he saw Chi Kana looking at the doll wall, "Fei Chi Fei Mo." ”

"I'm ......" Ikekana lowered her eyes, she didn't believe that this was an animal that could be hung up, and she felt broken down at the thought of how depressed she had to be to make this kind of doll wall, "I'm sorry, about Hiroki, about ...... I know you're going to be sad, but ......"

Chi Feichi got up and sat down beside Chi Kana, looking sideways at Chi Kana, "You don't need to apologize, and you don't need to run away from me anymore, I said, I want to talk to you about genetic diseases." ”

Chikana still hung her head, her right hand twisting the hem of her skirt.

Chi Fei waited for a while and took the initiative to speak, "You didn't plan to give birth to me at the beginning. ”

Chi Kana raised her head in surprise, looked at Chi Feichi's calm eyes, stunned for a moment, looked at the scented candle burning on the table, the eyes that used to smile lost their smiles, and were full of pain and struggle, "I, I'm just ......"

"It's just that between losing a child and watching the child live a miserable life, I had a disagreement with my father," Chi Feichi retracted his gaze, "because of a genetic disease?" ”

Ikekana looked at the flame of the scented candle in the room, her eyes a little distracted, "I...... I have four older brothers, but I have never met my eldest brother, and the second brother is many years older than me...... To be precise, he is 15 years older than me, he is a very stable person, he can take care of his younger siblings, he can send those who come to the door to find trouble, although sometimes he will suddenly lose control of his emotions and become very irritable, but he always avoids other people and vents on his own, for as long as he can remember, he is like a man in the family, he can bear everything......"

"When I was very young, I admired the second brother the most, but I liked the third brother the most, the third brother liked to laugh very much, he would make me happy, he would accompany me to check, he would accompany me to train...... It is to train blindfolded to go down the stairs, eat, and walk, and what I am most afraid of is the fourth brother, because he is always wrapped in a black robe, silent, and stands gloomily behind me staring at me......"

Fei Chi climbed onto the couch from the doorway and listened quietly.

Fei Mo didn't know when he arrived, put the two bright red roses in his mouth on the windowsill, and found that the atmosphere was wrong, so he didn't make a sound to disturb him.

"I'm afraid of him, I've been ......" Chi Kanai lowered his head, a tear smashed on the white dress, which was quickly absorbed by the fabric, slowed down, and tried to maintain a peaceful tone, "Until I was four years old, I ran to the yard to play by myself and fell into the water, that day the second brother and his mother went out, the third brother was still rushing down from the upper floor, the fourth brother ran forward faster than the servant, jumped into the water and picked me up, I was so frightened that I cried, and accidentally ripped off the black robe he was wearing, he still didn't say anything, and went to the house, I found out that the back of his exposed hands, neck, and side of his face were all blistered, and it looked horrible, but I just felt sad......"

"From that day I knew that the reason why the fourth brother kept secretly staring at me behind my back was because he wanted to hug me, but his face was like an old man, the rash would recur, and his body was full of scars, so he didn't dare to approach me for fear of scaring me......"

"The third brother's eyes can't see, he took the training I did since I was a child, just to prevent me from seeing one day, even if he can't see, he can go upstairs and downstairs very well, and he can pick me up accurately, he is so powerful, but I fell down when I drove him downstairs that day......"

"The second brother can't bask in the sun for too long, when the sun is very bright, he will cry uncontrollably......"

Chi Feichi took a piece of paper, grabbed Chi Kana's trembling shoulders, and lowered his head to gently wipe away the tears that flowed all over Chi Kana's face.

It was the first time he had heard her mother talk about her uncle.

"I heard the second brother and the third brother arguing, and the second brother said that he hated our mother, no...... It's resentment," Ikekana lowered her head and sobbed, "He said that our mother shouldn't have given birth to us one by one...... I didn't understand at the time, and I didn't know what they said afterwards, because the fourth brother found me outside the door and took me away. ”

"But the second brother still feels very sorry for our mother, he sometimes gets angry at my mother, but he is very awkward to help our mother deal with the piles of documents that look big, and when someone says bad things about our mother, he is also the most angry......"

"In addition to quarreling with the second brother, the third brother still likes to laugh so much, likes to tease the second brother for being awkward, and then quarrels with the second brother, the third brother also smiled and comforted me, the family spent a lot of money, found a lot of good doctors, researchers, and specialized in solving our problems, and we will all get better......"

"And the fourth brother, he still doesn't say anything, doesn't let me see his face, or likes to stand quietly behind me and look at me, I try my best to tease him to talk, try my best to see his face, he never gets angry, but I never succeed, I really won't be afraid, no matter what he looks like, I won't be afraid......"

"When I turned six, my family was very happy," Ikekana smiled wryly and said softly, "because I wasn't blind, and my 20-year-old brother was at my birthday party that year...... My second brother, he met the girl he liked, but he didn't dare to step forward, why...... He was obviously so good, but he said that sometimes he couldn't control his emotions, he didn't dare to guarantee that the future children would not be like him, he gave up, we encouraged him to give it a try, he hesitated, but the next year, the kitchen caught fire, he commanded the servants to leave, but he didn't come out again......"

"The third brother hasn't laughed for a long time, but in less than half a year, he started laughing again, he took over the second brother's previous affairs, began to receive guests at home, began to arrange the life of me and the fourth brother, and the fourth brother and I also began to help......"

"When I was nine years old, my fourth brother died, and the skin on his body began to fester, and there was a problem with his liver, and while he was lying in the hospital bed, I went to see him every day, watched him suffer, watched him suffer......"

"It was also during that time that the person who quarreled with his mother changed from the second brother to the third brother, but the third brother, like the second brother, would feel guilty and apologize to his mother if he said too much......"

"On the day of the fourth brother's funeral, my third brother also had an accident, he didn't laugh again before he jumped down from the stairs, his face was so crazy and terrible for the first time, and he yelled hysterically at everyone, 'There is no hope, this terrible curse can't be shaken off, I watched my brother die, I watched my brother die, I was afraid that one day I would also see my little sister die...... No, no, I'm blind, I can't see anything, I can't even take a final look at their faces! But he was the one who had been encouraging us before......"

"It was also from that day that I lost all my older brothers......"

"Actually, my mother was very good to us, she would cook, she would read with us, play with us, and at night, she would always look from room to room to see if we were asleep, but I also began to wonder why she gave birth to us all......"

"I took over everything from my brothers, I followed their example, received guests, arranged the maids at home, I studied hard, didn't let anyone worry about it, I would be like the second brother and the third brother, I couldn't control the quarrel with my mother, I love her, but I also hate her, and I feel more sorry for her."

"I hate even more those who hurt her by talking openly and secretly, those people always hurt her with a nonchalant look at my brothers' affairs, calling her a witch, saying that it was a curse, my father has no room to speak, and those people will not give him room to speak, always using him as an outsider to block him," Chikana lowered her head, tears kept flowing, but she gritted her teeth, "They uncovered the wounds in our family's hearts over and over again, sprinkled salt, hoping to see my father and mother retreat and be weak, and then pounce on us and tear us apart!" I told myself over and over again that I couldn't get sick, and even if I was sick, I had to take those guys to the funeral! ”

"But you later married my father and came to Japan with him, and you didn't care about the family affairs anymore," Chi Feichi asked softly, "At that time, did you give up?" ”

"When your father proposed, I told him that I would not have children, and he replied yes, I asked him, he is the only son in the family, no children, what about the family's property, he said that he can find someone else to inherit," Chi Kana leaned on Chi Feichi's shoulder, still staring at the candle, "At that time, I suddenly felt that I shouldn't worry about that, as my parents expected, to have a husband who loves me, to have a happy family, to have time to see them, I began to learn to be a Japanese wife......"

At that time, contraceptive methods were already very advanced, but Shinnosuke Ikeke did not agree with Ikekana to go for surgery, because there were still many cases of infections or physical discomfort.

Then after two years of contraception, there was a sudden mistake and a small life.

Chi Kana has a psychological shadow of 'bloodline' since she was a child, and no one is more reluctant to give birth to this child than her, she wants to beat the child, but Chi Shinnosuke disagrees.

This is the initial contradiction.

"But you couldn't bear it, so you compromised." Chi Fei is late.

"I was reluctant, but I didn't know whether I should keep you or not, so I was persuaded by him," Chi Kana lowered her eyes, remembering the throbbing and joy in her heart when she took over that little life for the first time, and she was a little sad to miss it, "Then you were born, a boy, with purple eyes like me, I am afraid every day, I don't know if I should tell you everything, whether I should take you to do the kind of training that does things blindfolded since you were a child, I want to hide it from ......"

"I don't need that kind of training." Chi Feichi grabbed Chi Kana's shoulders and said softly, "My eyes are fine." ”

"Yes, your eyes are fine, but your eyes are fine...... Your second uncle, your fourth uncle, they live more miserable, they can't live like normal people," Chi Kana's voice gradually increased, "You grow up day by day, and I am more and more afraid, if you find that one day you suddenly become different from other children, will you be sad?" If one day you were to lie in a hospital bed, would you resent your birth? If...... If one day...... You've met a girl you like, how can I tell you? ”

Chi Feichi was silent, allowing Chi Kana to vent his emotions.

"Tell you, the blood in your body may one day cause you to contract some incurable disease, and your children may do the same? The girl you like may not be able to accept you because of this, and you may even have to choose between being a father or not! Do you want to love your mother and hate her at the same time? What do you want me to do......" Chi Kana suddenly pushed Chi Feichi away, stood up and stared at Chi Feichi, his eyes were frighteningly red, and tears flowed down his cheeks, "It was a mistake to let you be born, maybe you should have been born in a normal family, not me!" Why don't you hate me? I'm just an irresponsible mother! A mother who left you alone and didn't care about you at all! You ......"

Chi Feichi got up and gently hugged Chi Kana, feeling complicated.

On the outside, his mother is so decent, she is the head of the field group, and she is a representative of excellent and perfect women.

In previous years...... Even after he crossed over, she was always so gentle, not conveying a little negative emotions to him or the original consciousness, and even unwilling to let him see the dark side of the mall, supporting him to choose a veterinarian, or any other profession, living a simple and happy life.

But she is afraid to be by her child's side, and hopes that he will hate her, and hopes that the family affection will be weak, so that each other will not be so painful, but how can she be happy without her children?

The fragments he found in his memory, Chi Kana's complicated and guilty eyes at that moment, appeared more than once.

The original consciousness, including when he first crossed over, felt that it was a 'sudden discovery of conscience' because he was busy with his career and neglected his child's guilt, and never saw how heavy the guilt was.

The mother who is always gentle and decent in her memory has been living in the mire of pain, entangled, contradictory, and painful.

Or rather, people of the same bloodline are struggling in pain, his grandmother, his uncles, his mother...... It really does seem like a curse.