"Hmmm......"

Yan Fei carefully read the name in his hand, and then looked at it a second and third times, but every time he looked at it, he seemed to be able to find new highlights from the name.

As she had guessed before, Shen Xin's storyboards are better than those of her peers, and the same is true of this manuscript called "Love Equation".

In addition to the excellent storyboarding, it has also improved a lot in composition compared to "The Witch", the perspective technique is used reasonably, the depiction of the characters is more solid, and more importantly, the story is several notches higher than the "Witch" on the bad street.

Whether it's a novel or a comic, there will be ups and downs. The process of completing a novel or comic is relatively simple, because it can have enough space to set the foreshadowing and shape the characters in the early stage, and surprise the reader in the follow-up.

Shorter comics and novels are not the same, and they require the writer to refine his or her control of the language.

The "language" of the novel is the writing. Superb writing can replace a paragraph with a few words or even one or two words. For comics, "language" is more reflected in "storyboards".

Within the fixed length of the number of pages, how to pick out the sub-scenes that can best express the story, so that readers can experience the author's mind, determines the level of the cartoonist.

Ordinary novices can't do this, but the name of "Love Equation" is very perfect.

Sure enough, I guessed it right...... He does have extraordinary strength, and in terms of the expression of the story, he has also improved several notches -

An introverted boy has a crush on a girl who is also introverted.

On a graduation trip, the boy finally mustered up the courage to confess to the girl, but because of one misunderstanding after another, the direction of the story was led to a strange place.

For example, there is a paragraph in the early stage of the script where the boy finally made an appointment with the girl with the help of his friends. When the male protagonist was buying a drink, the fountain next to the girl suddenly sprayed water, drenching the female protagonist's clothes.

When the boy returned, he found that the girl had already left.

He searched everywhere and finally found the girl in a nearby grove, only to see the girl cuddling with another boy. In fact, this "boy" is a female classmate in the class, but he usually dresses up as a boy, but the panicked boy didn't notice this and left silently, so the two had a misunderstanding.

Next, there are still a few such misunderstandings, and in the end, when the boy returned to school, he finally expressed his heart, and the lover finally became a family.

This comic is relatively smooth in terms of starting and ending. If Yan Fei was just an ordinary reader, she would definitely applaud this story, but ......

Yan Fei suddenly stood up from her seat.

"Any questions?" Shen Xin also stood up.

"You sit down first, and I'll pour two more cups of coffee."

After Yan Fei left, Shen Xin glanced at the manuscript on the round table and thought about Yan Fei's thoughts.

Is it over, or is it not?

The story of this manga was written by himself, and despite the use of some "routines", the effect of plot twists should have been achieved.

As for the key point "misunderstanding", it is used in many love comics in the 11th region of the earth, and it is not a new routine......

Just when Shen Xin was thinking nonsense, Yan Fei walked into the cubicle and handed a cup of coffee to Shen Xin.

"Let's talk about this comic...... Yan Fei took a sip of coffee, pondered for a moment, and explained, "First of all, the first impression I had of this short comic is that it is very good-looking, it is an excellent love comic. If you publish it directly, you should be able to get good results, and maybe you can get a serialization directly - if your goal is only serialization, then it's perfectly fine. But I guess your goal should be more than that, right? ”

Shen Xin nodded.

With the big killer of "comic capsule", if the target is just serialized, it is too tyrannical.

Of course, after the serialization, the plot, storyboard, composition, etc., he can "reference" the comics he has read before, and the results should not be a problem, but he still wants to know what the shortcomings of his original work are.

"I'll just say three points. First, in these 40 pages of name, you create three misunderstandings, and although it makes the direction of the story very interesting, the reader will feel tired after reading it. From beginning to end, the entire manga has kept the reader on a tight edge, there is no buffer, and I recommend removing at least one misunderstanding...... If you can replace the two misunderstandings with other plots, the effect may be better. As for the reason for this...... That's the second point I'm going to make - you have to prepare for the upcoming serialized long-form comics. ”

"Long-form comics?" Shen Xin really didn't think of this problem.

"That's right, if you open most of the comics, they are full of the word 'routine', which is the case with shonen comics and shoujo comics. Taking romance novels as an example, the reason why the story can move forward is nothing more than the addition of new characters, which brings a series of problems, such as 'misunderstanding' or 'love triangle', and the new characters added are usually the protagonist's childhood sweethearts. The protagonist must choose between "new love" and "old love", these are all routines.

"But don't use these elements too much in short comics, after all, the later serialized comics will have to be used repeatedly. If you use it too much, it will lose its freshness and it will be easy to lose readers. ”

Shen Xin rubbed his chin when he heard this.

Yan Fei's words may not be right, but at least there is one thing he agrees with. In the 40 pages of the name, he did stuff too much, making the work too bloated, and it seemed that it needed to be streamlined a little more.

"And what about the third point?" Shen Xin was puzzled.

"When it comes to the third point, I'm angry." Yan Fei crossed her arms to her chest and looked gloomy, "The readers of shonen manga are boys, so you have to catch their eyeballs, that is, their curiosity about girls - in other words, there is no 'meat' style in this manuscript that you are good at." ”

"Disheveled, half-fruited, and even chubby ci exposed intentionally or unintentionally, these contents are not reflected in the comics. What are you going to rely on to attract people? Misunderstanding or coincidence between the hero and heroine? Please, readers don't have much patience to watch you foreshadow the plot. If there are no attractive points, your follow-up serialization will not be more than three issues. ”

“……”

Shen Xin had a black line, these words that even he was embarrassed to say, but Yan Fei said them without any scruples.

"Plot...... I feel like the storyline makes up for it. Shen Xin said seriously.

He insisted on the final bottom line - as few images as possible that were inappropriate for children.

"Ahem...... The latest news I got is that "Dreamer" is about to be revised, and like "New World", it is also a weekly magazine, and the blockbuster newcomer they plan to launch is Chen Zijiao, whom we met a few days ago. You don't want to lose to him, do you? Yan Fei said.

Shen Xin nodded, he didn't want to lose to Wang Wenhong and Chen Zijiao.

"By the way, Chen Zijiao also wants to draw a short story, right?"

"No, I don't. "Dreamer" deliberately found a script for him, which is said to be tailor-made for him by a well-known genius writer in China...... If you want a screenwriter, I can also find it for you, but the manuscript fee should be divided equally, how about it? Yan Fei asked.

Joke! The money received must not be shared among anyone else.

"No! I will refine the new name as soon as possible based on your comments. Shen Xin assured Yan Fei.

Yan Fei listened to Shen Xin's words, and a smile appeared on her face.