Year 2011

A seemingly ordinary, but it changed You Gege's life in a year.

There are many memorable days in this year, such as the 100th anniversary of the Xinhai Revolution and the successful test flight of the J-20......

There are also many major events that the world is concerned about, such as Prince William's wedding and the withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan......

There are also many keywords born in the online media and scientific circles, such as Tencent's withdrawal from the new chat software "WeChat", and the announcement of the retirement of the US space shuttle after the last flight mission of "Endeavour" and so on......

These are the major events recorded in 2011.

But many ordinary people, in the era when self-media was not yet prevalent and the Internet of Everything was still in the front-end concept, their 2011 year was more about a lot of small things about themselves.

This year, You Gege's mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer when she applied for a health certificate.

Only a few months followed...... The mother left Yougege, leaving the young girl who had just come of age alone in this world.

The day......

It was raining heavily.

With a bottle of sleeping pills in his pocket, You Gege walked along the deep path.

She didn't have an umbrella and was drenched all over her body.

After returning home, You Gege took off his clothes, then went into the bathroom, and kept washing his body, especially his lower body.

Repeated and vigorous rubbing made her originally pale skin turn bright red.

It wasn't until she was tired that she came out wrapped in a bath towel.

Lying on the bed, looking at the dim lights on the roof.

This 10-square-metre basement home is damp and mildew.

In the few months that his mother has been hospitalized, You Gege has hardly stayed at home.

After lying down for a while, the lights suddenly went out and the dripping sound in the bathroom was gone.

You Gege glanced at the doorway, then closed his eyes.

After a while, there were footsteps, followed by a knock on the door!

"Bang bang bang! Feed! Anybody home? ”

It's a man's voice, and it sounds very immature.

You Gege didn't want to respond, but the man was still knocking on the door, and the voice was getting louder and louder.

"Hey! Don't play dead! I hear you! You've been in arrears for months in rent and utilities! I didn't drive you away because you were pitiful, but you have to be conscious! Yes?! ”

"Bang bang bang!"

There was another violent knock on the door.

The sound is getting louder.

Compared to the heartbeat that You Gege heard lying on his mother's heart...... The sound was really strong......

"Hey!! Don't rely on me! If you play dead with me tonight, I'll find someone to pick the lock tomorrow, and you'll look good then! ”

The man was a little angry, and he kicked the door several times before leaving.

In the dark, You Gege looked coldly in the direction of the door.

"It's the same everywhere......" You Gege said to himself, "Parasite ......"

Smiling self-deprecatingly, You Gege got up, got out of bed and felt his wet clothes, and then took out the bottle of sleeping pills.

This thing was stolen by You Gege while the hospital pharmacy was neglecting and not paying attention.

She noticed the location of the sleeping pills more than ten days ago, but she didn't expect to be so calm when she stole the sleeping pills...... Obviously, this was only the first time she had stolen something......

Unscrew the cap and pour out all the medicine in the bottle.

There are more than a dozen of them.

The white ones are also distinct in the dark.

You Gege sat down next to the bed, the water would stop, and she could only force herself to swallow it.

But when he took the medicine, You Gege calmed down again.

Although it is a self-proposed agreement.

"I died for you, and you lived for me......"

But can she really do that?

I vaguely remember seeing a lot of uncertain endings in that light...... There are good and bad......

So what does it mean to sit here and choose to end your life in this way?

[When you are old, looking back on your life, you will find that when to study abroad, when to decide to do your first career, when to choose a partner and fall in love, when to get married, in fact, are all great changes in fate. It's just that at that time, standing at the fork in the road, the wind and clouds in front of you, the day you made your choice, in the diary, quite dull and ordinary, I thought it was an ordinary day in my life at the time......]

This sentence is from Tao Jie's "The Girl Who Killed the Quail".

It is one of You Gege's favorite books......

And this passage in the book had the most profound impact on her.

It is also the only faith that inspires her to discover the beautiful moments of life in the ordinary, even slightly bitter days.

It's just that You Gege didn't expect it.

Some choices are made, and it will be such a painful process.

She knew that she was just an example of the gloom behind thousands of happiness.

So she didn't do a more "wonderful" ending.

I only felt that the meaning of life had suddenly disappeared, and in a panic, I decided to accept the mercy of this fate.

But when the sleeping pill was grasped in the palm of his hand, You Gege realized it again......

Fate may never interfere with anyone.

It's still peaceful, obediently in the hands of you and me.

Eat it, or don't eat it.

It's up to you to decide.

After this epiphany...... You Gege calmed down.

But at this moment, the person in this darkness is not exactly a wanderer.

Her disappointment with the world had polluted the purest part of her heart...... She desperately hopes that her life can burn, even if it can't be a light that illuminates the way forward for others, she wants to turn into a fire that burns the world, and try her best to prove it once.

So she didn't hesitate any longer, she swallowed more than a dozen sleeping pills, and then chewed hard!

The bitterness made it hard for her to swallow, but she covered her mouth to keep herself from throwing up.

A few minutes later, You Gege leaned against the bed, staring vacantly at the ceiling.

The taste in the mouth is disappearing.

Consciousness is also blurred......

In fact, the power of medicine is not so terrible.

It also takes some time to function...... At that time, it will not be as comfortable as in the TV series to leave in a dream.

Pain still torments Yougge.

But at the same time as the pain came up.

The lights are on.

The sound of water in the bathroom returned.

Footsteps were heard outside the door again, this time ...... Very gentle and very careful.

You Gege stared at the dim light in a daze, just as bright as she saw......

Lots of possibilities resurfaced before her eyes.

"Knock knock".

The knock on the door was very careful, followed by a very gentle woman's voice.

"Gege, did you sleep? I'm your Aunt Li, huh? ”

Aunt Li?

It's the upstairs neighbors......

"Xiao Zheng was drunk just now, don't blame him! Don't take it seriously! You're still living here for the rest of the day, and when you get a job, you'll have to make up the money! Yes? ”

When You Gege heard this, tears that had not been shed because he had been insulted and wrapped in darkness suddenly gushed out.

But she still stubbornly leaned on the edge of the bed, clutching the sheets with both hands, enduring bouts of pain.

"Auntie has made you something to eat and put it outside the door, if you are hungry, bring it into the house to eat, huh? Child? You've got to live well! Yes? ”

"Knock knock!"

This time the knock on the door was a little quicker, but You Gege cried even harder.

The man outside the door stood for a moment and then put his things down.

The footsteps slowly departed.

But she stopped at the entrance of the stairway, sighed, and was about to go back to the house.

Suddenly, the door under the hallway opened.

Something outside the door was knocked over and shattered.

Aunt Li hurriedly turned around when she heard the sound.

Then I heard a weak voice: "Auntie...... Save me...... I don't want to die...... Save me...... Aunt ......"

……

In the silence of the night, only the sparkling light flickered.

You Gege felt like he was floating on the surface of the sea...... Ups and downs......

She drifted along the ocean current to the unknown shore, and the song of a whale was heard in her ears.

Melodious...... Soothing......

……

A few days later, You Gege woke up.

It was still dark in the room, but the damp, musty smell was gone.

Tilting his head slightly, he saw the sunlight squeezing in through the cracks in the curtains...... It was falling on her bloodless face......

Sensation is revival.

You Gege felt his hand being held.

When I looked down, it was a man who had fallen asleep on the edge of the bed.

Gently withdrawing her hand, You Gege sat up, and after taking a sip of water, she quietly got out of bed.

……

The wind on the rooftop is cold, but when it blows on the body, it is so real.

You Gege stood in the direction of watching the sunrise in only thin clothes.

A blush of blush dispels the darkness and the outline of the city becomes clearer...... The sounds of the streets are getting more and more intense......

"What's wrong...... Call me so early in the morning. Wang Yi was awakened by the phone, and after looking at the number very unhappily, he tried to suppress the fire qidao.

"What? Lost people?! No way!!! What's the matter with you! But the next words still made Wang Yi's anger explode.

Liu Panyang on the other end of the phone was also going crazy.

The whole hospital was now woken up by him.

"Don't talk nonsense! Hurry up and ask your brother to send someone over to adjust the surveillance! ”

Wang Yi put on his pants as he hung up the phone and dialed another number.

"Hello? Elder brother! Well, is there anyone on your side in the duty room? Rise...... Right! Right, right! My classmate, she woke up and didn't know where she went! Ay? Ay! Ok, good, good! I'll contact him! ”

Wang Yi, who ran out of the house barefoot, suddenly felt a chill on his body, and then noticed that he was only wearing pants.

……

By the time Wang Yi arrived at the hospital, the person had already been found.

However, You Gege, who had just woken up, was too weak, and a cold wind blew on the rooftop, and now he is unconscious again.

Liu Panyang stayed by the bedside, this time he didn't dare to close his eyes again.

Wang Yi saw that the person had found it, and he didn't say anything else, he walked over and patted Liu Panyang's shoulder and said, "Hey, what do you want to eat?" ”

Liu Panyang is in the mood to eat now.

He shook his head: "Not hungry. ”

Wang Yi rolled his eyes and said, "You just starve to death with you, it's useless!" Don't be pretentious, say quickly, I'll go down and buy it. ”

Liu Panyang is really not in the mood to eat.

Especially when he knew that he was the last to learn about the death of Yugge's mother...... His heart was filled with guilt.

"Whatever...... I eat what you eat. ”

Wang Yi took a deep breath: "Okay, I'll go back when I go." ”