It's just that the method is indeed a bit rushed, and generally this kind of hasty method should not achieve any good results, and it is not particularly agreed with the children in this regard, so it is needless to say that the next time.

If you meet with a disagreement or an unhappy mood, this mood will be imposed on the other party, and when it is imposed on the other party, some of the advantages of others may not be seen, but a lot of disadvantages will be seen.

Others are very good, even if others are speaking in a low voice or modestly, but they still feel that the other party is very unruly in terms of sensory feelings.

This exaggeration leads to the failure of such things, and then the blame for the failure of such things is placed on the young people, and it seems that such things are more and more contradictory, and finally even to the point of irreconcilability.

This is not a particularly good thing from the perspective of parents or children, but the collision of two concepts has led to this situation.

The previous two generations were about 20 to 30 years, and during this time period, there may not be much change from ancient times to modern times, that is, there should be no major conflict and change in the ideological contradictions between the two.

But I think from the 70s to the 90s, some things have changed so much that we can't even understand them, because we are not in the era in which we lived, and when we can't understand it, it is easy to have this kind of generation gap in thinking.

This kind of ideological generation gap can easily lead to good intentions doing bad things, and both sides want to produce a better result for the other.

It's just that the result is really not as good as imagined.

Actually, I think there is another reason for this phenomenon, and this reason is that the time of entering society is different.

Today's young people enter society very late, and sometimes we can't be divided into one age group when we are mature, just as we can't divide it according to the simple amount of money when we talk about some ancient and modern economic comparisons.

In fact, it seems that many economists calculate this level of wealth in terms of purchasing power, and I think a similar method should be made in this regard.

For example, in those days, many people may not have been able to go to university, which means that they need to enter the society to work around the age of 18.

Sometimes the relationship between learning and entering the social work is a transitional relationship, but I think it is only a quantitative change or a qualitative change.

Going to school is only accumulating the process of quantitative change, and then when the qualitative change occurs, it still enters a certain time in the work stage, and it is only said that the results of this quantitative change will make different results occur between the qualitative changes.

In other words, many students still have not undergone qualitative changes, although the age group is about the same, but it is still not possible to stipulate the same things according to the simple age of the same.

This is what Qi Yang often says, not looking at problems in terms of environment, and playing hooligans.

This also depends on a certain social environment, and this theory often appears, and among some parents, of course, it is not that this theory is incorrect, but it is only that this theory was correct at the time, but the current words are indeed somewhat outdated.

It's not a theory or an idea, that is, I hope that students or their children can study seriously when they go to school, and after studying hard, I hope that they will be able to find a fast son-in-law or a good daughter-in-law immediately after graduation.

Then the next thing is to start a family, get married, and have children, they very much hope that this process can be carried out quickly, and they hope that this process can be processed like an assembly line when it comes here and there.

But life is not a drawing, life is a drawing, if you are given a drawing at the beginning, your life will be over? So why do you need to do some education, some struggles and efforts?

Therefore, life is not a drawing, and everything is not as natural as an assembly line, but at that time, there is a lack of information exchange, and this kind of appointment is still very clear.

As a result, some older generations have been given the illusion that they can still use that method to let their children complete their own tasks.

Of course, this task is the task of getting married and having children, without taking into account the actual situation.

This kind of actual situation is not only an economic situation, nor is it just a work situation, I think it is more about the degree of acceptance at this ideological level.

I believe that many people do not receive this message at this level of thinking when they have just finished their studies and started to go out into society.

The degree to which this information is generated requires people to slowly transform through social work, and this slow transformation is determined by the degree of society or work.

In the end, there is a phenomenon that parents feel that their children marry too late.

It also produced this kind of thing of posting blind date lists in some parks, which seems to be a very normal thing, but it seems to be an abnormal thing, but it is just a conclusion through the difference in the perspective of the two.

The ideological dimension is an important one, and the auxiliary aspects of other dimensions, such as the economy and the state of work, cannot be ignored.

and the social environment in which it is located, or that sentence must be combined with the environment to make some conclusions.

In this environment, the rapid development of the country means that some young people cannot keep up with the pace, which means that they will not be able to complete the predetermined tasks without the help of their parents in a certain period of time.

Moreover, when some young people are unable to complete this task even with the help of their parents, young people will feel that the necessity of this matter will become less and less, and when they reduce their quality of life, they will not be able to improve other aspects, and this kind of thing will seem more meaningless.

I remember that when I was studying some history books, the previous marriage certificate could bring benefits, and the son's words could be just a pair of chopsticks, and the same was true for the daughter's words.

But when your son reaches the age of 12, he can become a laborer, and the combination between the two can bring a certain increase in efficiency, that is, we often say that men and women work together without getting tired.

I'm talking about the former is about the improvement of labor efficiency, and the latter is due to hormones, but I can also use a little metaphor.

This kind of small-scale peasant economy can improve the quality of life by improving the efficiency of labor, but on the other hand, the combination of the two has caused a certain burden, so this situation is something that many people are unwilling to accept.

Once there is no way to accept this kind of thing, the mentality of young people will change, the desire for this kind of thing will become lower and lower, and the planning for such a thing will become farther and farther, or even say that they will not plan this matter.

So parents must step up the urging of this kind of thing, but it seems that they are not particularly successful at this level.

Of course, this situation does not mean that all the situations are in the same situation as I mentioned, and there are many people who are not in this situation, such as some middle classes.

But to be honest, there are still relatively few such people in China, not in terms of numbers, but in proportion.

Of course, there is a certain reason why this matter is so far, that is, the condition that Zhuli said when I said to introduce the object to Zhuli.

There are no requirements for culture, only a small hard rule on appearance and temper, but it is not particularly rigid, just to say that it is okay.

Of course, what Zhu Li said was not necessarily a sincere word, because many people had just made some simple plans for this request.

For example, I read an article in a magazine, and of course it was probably an edit, but I can see a lot of clues from it.

It is also one of them that you can also learn about this kind of mate selection criteria, it is said that there is an aunt who wants to introduce a young female colleague to her unit, so she asked this little female colleague what kind of standard.

The little girl replied, "Oh, there are not too many standards, as long as you are good to me, you have to look at the past." ”

This aunt also has a good relationship with this little girl, so she began to find a boy of this standard for him.

After meeting her, the girl said, "Auntie." This guy is too short, right? ”

Then this aunt thought about it, and it was true that she couldn't be too short for men, so she found another person with a slightly higher condition than the previous one.

After the girl met, she said to her aunt, "Oh, he hasn't bought a house now, so we can't rent a house in the future." ”

After hearing this, this aunt thought about it, yes, yes, men can't rent a house with their wives to live in it, at least there is a smaller house to give a little sense of security.

So I also tolerated the conditions of this little girl, because the relationship was still relatively good, so I continued to introduce, and introduced a person with relatively better conditions.

The little girl continued: "Auntie, I feel that this man's temper is not particularly good, will he be violent in the future, or forget it." ”

Auntie was a little angry, because these conditions were not said at the beginning, why didn't you talk about this at the beginning, if these conditions were already said at the beginning, then it didn't take so much effort.

So I introduced it again, but this is the last time, because this aunt is also a little annoying.

The last time the little girl still disagreed, and then said to this aunt: "Auntie, this young man needs to repay a lot of mortgages when he takes out a loan to buy a house, and I am really tired of getting married and paying off the mortgage together." ”

So this aunt never introduced the girl to the object again, of course, this story is not to say that the girl is very demanding, in fact, this situation is not unique to girls.

This situation also often happens to boys, for example, at the beginning, it was only said that the girl only needed to grow up and get by.

But more and more later, they began to ask for higher conditions, such as how much the salary should be, and then they began to ask for their figure, and then they asked the girls to pay off the mortgage together.

The real reason I say this story is that men and women have a perception of this kind of blind date, and the conditions they put forward may be fewer for various reasons.

Maybe it's because I'm embarrassed, or maybe it's because I didn't think of it at the beginning, anyway, it's because of various reasons that the conditions start to become more and more.

This situation is definitely not without reason, in fact, if they fall in love by themselves in real life, these conditions may not be there.

The main reason is that they can tolerate some defects in the process of getting along, but when they are not familiar with some strangers, their ability to tolerate these conditions will be greatly reduced.

Then I began to feel that these conditions must become some hard conditions, and the most essential reason is that this thing is generated, not by people.

At the beginning, when I first asked for this matter, I may not have asked for it in place, and even because of objective factors, some conditions slowly emerged, so I don't think anyone can be blamed for this kind of thing.

No one can be blamed, at least in most cases, and needless to say that those who do the dead are not in the scope of these considerations.

The reason why I told this story was to Zhu Li, not to her, but because of her conditions, I remembered this story and then remembered this truth.

Actually, there is not much mixed matter, and there is no such thing as criticizing others or criticizing others, just expressing a little opinion.

People always have an inexplicable confidence in what they choose, and this confidence comes from thinking that they may not be wrong, in fact, I think this is not only reflected in this kind of blind date.

Even sometimes it is used by others to form a kind of fraud, which is the so-called pyramid scheme, which still takes advantage of some poor people's desire to change.

Of course, this is not to say that this mentality is wrong, but it is clear that some people are very, very hard working in this kind of activity, which means that they have a certain potential.

It's just that this kind of effort or this kind of opinion is being taken advantage of, which means that it looks a little sad, and I hate this kind of person quite a bit.

If you change others in a good way or even ask for them, then this kind of behavior is obviously unhealthy or immoral or even illegal.

But the exploitation of this mentality is on the one hand, and on the other hand, through repeated ideological oppression, they have created a different level of their thinking, that is, they are convinced of what they have chosen, and they themselves excuse him, and find out what can be filled by the loopholes in it.

That is to say, when others question this thing, and this thing is a wrong thing, it has been determined that this thing is abnormal, but because they believe in it, they all start to find a way to make up for such a loophole, that is, they firmly believe that what they believe is not a loophole.

This is true of some religions and some of these activities, which essentially allows them to start to be able to carry out more in-depth activities for their actions.

In fact, when it comes to speaking, I said something similar, this kind of similar thing happened to us and not very far away, to be precise, it happened to Mo Xiang.

Speaking of which, it seems that he hasn't told me about it yet, to be precise, Mo Xiang is embarrassed to tell me directly, but it is estimated that he doesn't know that Qiyang will also tell me.

But after Qi Yang told me about this matter, he kept telling me not to tell Mo Xiang about it, of course, I also kept my promise, and it was true that Mo Xiang did not talk about it.

Because this matter is that Mo Xiang has been deceived, but when he is in this situation, he has been believing in the existence of this situation, so it is difficult to turn back.

There is a certain way to turn this situation back, but it seems that it is not easy to do, and the best way to deny a thing is to take it to the extreme and let him fall hard.

After he fell, he was able to understand it himself, because it hurt so much, and people can only understand the existence of this situation when it hurts very much.

But most of the pain is something that many people can't accept, and of course it's not the only way, but it's actually more concise and straightforward.

And it makes people remember such things very clearly, and even said that as long as they don't die, they won't do it again forever.

It's just that many people can't bear this result, and this result is really not a particularly good result, many people like to use a buffer method when dealing with this situation, and the buffer method is actually not particularly obvious, and the duration is very long.

Because when all parties resist this method, then the implementation of this method is very difficult.

So how to lift people up and then throw them down is very simple to use.

It is to let this person go, because this matter must be wrong, then the final result is also unfavorable to most people, since it is unfavorable to most people, then relatively speaking, this person will basically not get any benefits, and even say that he will lose a lot of things.

Support this thing or let it go, then in the end he will definitely get a huge lesson, but the lesson is that some of them are losing money, and some of them are ruining their families.

In terms of money, there may be a feeling of being able to accept it, but I believe that no one is willing to accept the destruction of the family, and they want people to be able to rescue them earlier, but this situation is very difficult to happen.

We pity these people, but we don't know for sure if they have anything to hate.

Let's go back to Mo Xiang's matter, Mo Xiang's words actually relied entirely on Xiaofeng and Qiyang's help when solving this matter.

It is completely acceptable for Mo Xiang to have a solution, because of some special reasons that he did not lose something important at all, but it was able to allow him to learn a big lesson.

This is a situation that most people can hope for, and many people desire the existence of such a situation, that is, to learn a certain lesson without losing much.

At this time, it is possible to see the differences between some classes, the constant differences in life, and even the consequences of accepting such lessons are very different, so in the long run it seems that in the end there will be more and more differences in the ideological level.

In the end, it is reflected in the degree of economic difference, because ideology can still determine a certain economic base, so the difference is getting bigger and bigger, and I think this is another reason for the solidification of classes.

It's that the teacher is different, this sentence is very simple, but the words are not simple, one thing just said is Mo Xiang's teacher, Mo Xiang's social teacher brought some consequences to Mo Xiang.

Xiaofeng and Qiyang are people who belong to another class, but at this time it seems a little too formal or too proud to speak of this class.

But I believe that there are not many people who can do such a situation, and the people who can do this situation do not lack these things at all, and the degree of awareness of these things is also very large.

Mo Xiang had been believing that this was really true at that time, and even said that he would give up all his possessions but get what seemed to be more.

Anyway, does Mo Xiang lack all this money? In my opinion, he was not short of money, and it was not a lot of money for his father, he just longed for a relative financial freedom.

So he dared to exchange all his funds for other things, and finally realized that he had been deceived when he knew that he had lost the money.

But it seems that it is too late, because he has lost more and more things now, and he has to use the things he has lost more to borrow these things to make up for the pit, which is what we often call tearing down the east wall and making up the west wall.

When his situation began to appear, that is, ordinary people began to accept the situation that they could not bear, although it was still bearable for Mo Xiang, but for some ordinary people, this situation was obviously beyond the scope of commitment.

When you carry more and more things on your back, your ability to climb up becomes weaker and weaker, and it takes a lot of effort just to throw away these burdened things, which means that you will reduce the time to climb up a lot.

Then the solidification of this class is also obvious.

The means used by Xiaofeng and Qiyang are risk-free means, go with the flow but can get what Mo Xiang has lost from it, and when Mo Xiang has reached a trough, then pull Mo Xiang out.

Mo Xiang saw the tragic situation of the trough, and he could also sense the grief between the troughs, and when he was about to move forward, a safety rope suddenly appeared behind him.

Immediately dragged Mo Xiang up, although it was not pulled to the top, but it was definitely far away from this trough, whether it was the smell or the things he was carrying, he had already left Mo Xiang.

In fact, Mo Xiang was undoubtedly lucky at this time, but when Mo Xiang was pulled up, many white bones wanted to pull Mo Xiang's legs up together, but they were entangled by some vines in the trough, and there was no way to rise to a higher place with her.

It's a little scary to say this, but I think the actual situation should be even more terrifying than that, and it's not like I haven't seen people who have failed.

And it is the majority who fail in this kind of activity, and they become white bones, white bones that cannot evolve into humans in this life.

Some people can barely climb out, but it takes a lot of effort, and they may not have the courage to climb out in this life.

In fact, the blind date I just said is indeed a psychological reason in this regard.

If they really have these complicated conditions, in fact, we don't see those college students and high school students starting to fall in love, they are not rational, or not as much as rational.

In fact, the state is a lot worse than the situation in college, but it is not as serious as imagined, only that their mate selection criteria in college are really not much different from their mate selection criteria at work, or there is really not that much difference as they say.

If they start working at this time and they work in the same environment as the university, that is, they can come into contact with all kinds of people of the opposite sex every day, then those rigid standards are likely to become obsolete at this time.

College students are really not as good as they say, what has a house and a car, how tall is it, how is the measurement, how is the personality, how is the temper, is there any violent tendency, and I am not the same interest.

In fact, all these things are gone, because these things have begun to be understood in the process of contact, and since they have learned, then what they can endure will be endured, and what they can't bear will not become the next step in the relationship.

So the most essential reason is that I still have too little contact, too little contact in the working environment, and I am not familiar with the way of introduction, so I can only set it a little bit through some hard standards.

But when I found that this rigid standard did not meet my own requirements, because there were indeed other conditions that did not meet my feelings, I also set this one.

But there is always a wide variety to be found in the following process.

However, if you look back at falling in love in college, this is because you didn't know these conditions that you couldn't tolerate at the beginning, that is to say, after the hot love period has passed, those conditions have returned, that is, those things that you feel very uncomfortable have returned.

What should I do at this time? The first aspect is definitely the discussion, where both of them make certain concessions, and even say that both of them can tolerate this aspect of things.

Then the relationship continues, and if it doesn't work, retreat.

However, there is obviously no way for this situation to occur during the blind date, that is to say, in the process of blind date, if one party says his or her own conditions, you say can I make these conditions become no or smaller.

First of all, I think it's a challenge to be able to say this to me, because it's a little embarrassing to say such things to strangers, and secondly, what will the other person think when you say this?

Do most of them think of it as a normal situation? In my opinion, no, most people obviously feel very uncomfortable pointing fingers at a stranger, even if that person may be very right.

Even if you may not have a good temper on the surface, you will still think that this person has so many thoughts in private, and even think that you will never find a partner in this person.

So this prejudice began to come out, in fact, in social relationships or on the Internet, I think this is a very important reason for the contradiction between men and women.

Both men and women feel that they are right, but because of this strange relationship, they have very little understanding of personality and temperament, which leads to the contradiction of this relationship.

Of course, this is the case in most cases, and there are indeed some more tricky men or women in the case of small indistinctions, and this kind of words are not within the scope of consideration, and they are not within the scope of this theoretical explanation.

In such a situation, as I just said, most people will not say this kind of thing, and if a small number of people say it, it will cause greater contradictions.

This contradiction is not necessarily embodied in this kind of face-to-face gong and drum, but more reflected in people's complaints about this kind of thing.

That is what we call the level of online social networking, and some may even write some articles specifically for the opposite sex, and after writing these articles, they will begin to criticize and criticize.

In fact, many of them do not take into account the existence of objective circumstances.

If you go back to college students falling in love or being in love with high school students.

Let's explore the premise of their relationship, that is, how they determined it when they determined it.

First of all, let's talk about love at first sight, in fact, some people are right about love at first sight, love at first sight is not love but face.

You won't fall in love at first sight with pockmarked faces, freckles, and blackheads, and when you see this situation, you will definitely not associate it with other beautiful aspects.

When I first fell in love at first sight, I began to try my best to understand the information of the opposite sex, and after learning the information of this foreign land, I began to have a way to get in touch, that is, to use some conspiracy theories.

After contact, it makes some impressions of it, and then slowly develops feelings, and finally determines the love relationship.

Here we will discuss love at first sight, not long-term love.

After determining this relationship, they are all good so far at this time, that is to say, whether they are suitors or pursuers, they are showing their better side.

For example, temper, such as appearance, such as dress, such as personality.

These things are some of the better aspects shown, so their relationship is getting deeper and deeper, that is, they have entered the period of passionate love.

In this period of love, there will still be some good aspects, for example, the boy may not brush his teeth or wash his face every morning, but he starts to brush his teeth and wash his face in order to see her.

For example, girls usually don't have a particularly good temper and have a loud voice, but in order to show a better aspect to boys, they begin to restrain their temper and restrain their voice.

It's all an analogy, so at this time they showed a better side, making the other party feel that I was really looking for the right person.

At this time, their so-called hard requirements are all gone, what mess of houses and cars, what mess of deposit balances.

At this time, I feel that all the good is in the two people, and I will make some overreactions, such as in the grove in the playground of our school, two people are surrounded and do not care about the feelings of others.

The girls sat on the boys' laps and kissed me and me, and I wanted to go over and kick them.

But in any case, there are no hard conditions at this time.

So at this time, the so-called self-motivation and working conditions will not actually be shown from these places, and it is difficult to see this kind of thing.

After the period of human love, when the disguises of both parties began to be torn off, it was a watershed moment in the so-called just now, and whether to go left or right brought me to their hands.

However, there are still many who can overcome each other's shortcomings and then correct their own shortcomings.

That is to say, many people can continue to go down, and if they go down at this time, the change of these conditions will be better for themselves and for each other.

It's just that this period is really difficult to pass, which is why couples who just got married in the past seemed to be better at first, and slowly they had a small quarrel for three days and a big quarrel for five days.

Couples who can tolerate it end up not quarreling often, and after quarreling infrequently, as long as there are no issues of principle, they basically get along in harmony.

This situation is actually like the situation of college students or high school students falling in love, except that this behavior does not exist in their married life, but advances this behavior to the end of the love period.

They start to quarrel, they start to doubt, they start to feel that they have chosen the wrong one, which means that they need to go through this difficult phase that all previous couples need to go through.

When this stage passes, it does not mean that they can continue to walk, because they are not married yet, and some secular conventions still have a great constraint on them.

But one thing that cannot be denied is that if such a couple in love can really enter the palace of marriage, they have ended a difficult situation that the original couple had to go through.

Of course, it's not that this kind of thing is gone out of thin air, but that this kind of thing has passed in another stage.

Therefore, it is often seen that those couples born in the 80s quarrel much less frequently than some original couples.

The reason may be due to the improvement of cultural cultivation, but some of the other reasons are that the challenges of this honeymoon period are completed early.

But it's just that there are a lot of things that haven't passed, but one thing without exception is that they don't have that high requirements for these things.

But why are the hard requirements for strangers so high, there must be a certain reason for this kind of thing, for strangers this kind of condition people generally can't be reflected through long-term contact, so it can only be reflected through some hard requirements.

For example, how to be self-motivated, maybe in college he studied hard every day but he didn't have money, and girls would think he was self-motivated.

But for a stranger's self-motivation, how to manifest it, there are few aspects, so it can only be reflected through some status, money, house, car, etc.

But these things do not fully reflect this self-motivation, or these things do not meet the requirements of some people's minds, so they become disagreeable.

The other party will also think that the other party's demands are too high.

This kind of two-sided stipulation between the two sides can easily cause some contradictions, and now that society is developed, such contradictions can easily manifest themselves.

Then the final ending will not be particularly good, and there is generally no way to continue this kind of thing.

But who is wrong with this behavior? I can't say why it is, because maybe one side is not at fault at all, or maybe both are wrong.

It's a kind of switching range of thinking, which leads to the fact that this gap doesn't coincide with each other, and it hurts the ontology by passing by, so I think the other party is deliberate.

I also want this gap to coincide, and you want to make that gap coincide, but our vision is not in the same line of sight, so the ending is obviously a very tragic ending.

This kind of embodiment is not only in self-motivation, but also in another example, for example, I ask the woman to measure better.

It was even said that this number had been listed, but after meeting, I found that this woman was too fat, so I couldn't look at it again.

These rigid requirements have become fetters, and there will be some contradictions anyway, but if in college life, there will definitely not be such too big rigid requirements, that is, the situation will be changed according to the change of height and weight.

Even if he is good-looking, the boy may not care about this situation, but in the process of blind date, he feels that he doesn't care about this situation, so he gives a hard requirement.