In the past few days, my father came to Shanghai for a follow-up, and the results of the examination made me collapse - esophageal cancer has metastasized after surgery and residual stomach cancer.

After consulting countless literatures and consulting some doctors, they did not get a good treatment effect, and even the survival time was not satisfactory.

It's very uncomfortable, it's helpless, it's depressing, it's painful, it's at a loss, and I don't know what to do.

Many readers say that this book is updated very slowly, not because I am lazy, but because in the process of writing this book, my life has changed drastically, and I have almost lost all my loved ones.

When I was writing the outline, my mother died, my grandmother passed away when I was opening the book, my grandfather died in the middle of writing, and then my father was hospitalized for half a year with cancer.

Now that my father has a more serious cancer, I may be losing the last loved one in this world.

I love them very much, and I am very reluctant to them, but the more reluctant I am, the more fate will take them away from me. After graduating from college, almost all of my income was invested in saving the lives of my loved ones, but I still couldn't keep them.

I'm optimistic and strong, rarely sluggish, and even if I'm desperate, I give confidence. But now, I feel like everything is falling apart and life is meaningless. No matter how successful I am, no matter how beautiful I am, but without the company of my relatives, they can't see or touch, what's the point?

So recently I have had a very serious suicidal thought, if my father leaves, I would like to go with them, because in that world, there are all my loved ones, but in this world, I am the only one.

I don't know if the gods and monsters written in this book offended which gods, or if I was destined to be lonely and lonely, I want my relatives to be safe and healthy, to be by my side, to watch me work hard, to share with me the joy of all success, to be proud of me, to smile for me.

No matter what, I will finish this book, even if I eventually choose to leave this world, I will finish it and leave again. Perhaps, this is the only trace I have left in this world, a memorial to the fact that I once came to this world.

Everything is fate, and nothing is up to anyone. (To be continued.) )

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