I don't want to doubt the authenticity of the shocking images that Dr. Nguyen Le captured with a camera installed in my home, and I prefer to think that Dr. Nguyen Lê's observations, no matter what way she used, were different from the world I was observing. And there must be some deep reason for that, even if I don't know why. If Dr. Nguyen Li's proof is to prove that "mystery" does not exist, and this is the Las Vegas repeater's counterattack against intruders, then my previous speculation about electronic demon summoners and nightmares seems to be a bit untenable.

However, since I believe that my speculation is close to the truth, then Dr. Nguyen Li's existence is particularly special because of her words and deeds.

It took me a long time to clear my mind that night, and the impact of Dr. Nguyen Li's words and testimonials was finally reincorporated into the philosophy and outlook on life that I used to maintain my personality. When I think back to the impact and the confusion of my own thinking, I can't help but sweat coldly, and I deeply realize that if the chaos at that time had been more strict, maybe I would have become a madman who denied myself. Today, I am still a mentally ill person, but at least a mentally ill person will not deny himself.

This is the most bizarre and inexplicable attack I have encountered since I entered this repeater world—if this kind of shock is regarded as an ideological attack, then the essence of this attack involves the fundamental reason why intelligent beings recognize their own existence. For the average person, such attacks are often ineffective. This is because ordinary people take their self-existence for granted and do not think about it, just like when they walk, they do not think about how every nerve and muscle cooperates, and what kind of signals are released from the brain, so that the action of "walking" is established. If someone tries to trace the fundamental mechanism involved in "walking" itself, and tries to control it little by little with subjective will, he will probably fall down at the beginning of this process.

Know yourself. It involves the reflection and inquiry of self-existence. It's like trying to understand and control every detail of "walking". When the activity of consciousness reaches this level, and there is no real control over this activity, it is like disassembling a car into parts, but not having the ability to put it back together. The results are, of course, extremely dire. I was shocked. It's like dissecting yourself. There is a power. Denied my method of reassembling myself.

And this shock, of course, will only take effect when the self is dissected. For people who don't think about the rationality and existence of their own personality at all. This shock is meaningless. For ordinary people, thinking about or even questioning the rationality and existence of one's own personality is itself a meaningless act - because the behavior of ordinary people generally conforms to the cognition that "existence is reasonable", and they do not think about why "existence is reasonable". Therefore, even if there is a situation of "saving zài but it is unreasonable", ordinary people will turn a blind eye to it, and instinctively use the idea of "it seems unreasonable, but it must be reasonable, but it is just that they can't recognize it" to filter all the negatives.

People's cognition of self and the maintenance of self-personality are the most fundamental instincts born after recognizing oneself. When I look at the shock I was subjected to from this perspective, I can't help but feel a deep fear of the source of this shock. Because, although I am a mentally ill person, and I can't suppress the analysis of the rationality and existence of my personality, I don't think that this kind of behavior will be so frequent when I am normal, and I should even use a "taken for granted" attitude to look at my own existence like most ordinary people.

However, I am mentally ill, and my psychopathy is part of the doomsday syndrome caused by the "virus", which also means that it is likely that this behavior of questioning myself is part of the malignant manifestation of the doomsday syndrome - for this, I have more evidence, more associations, and even the reason why I keep using the word "maybe" is just to fight the deep fear in my heart, and I am unwilling to admit that it is true.

If the impact at that time was not accidental, but a malicious inevitability, it means that the source of this impact is not "Dr. Ruan Li" itself, but a kind of existence that can actively intervene at the level of self-awareness. What is such a deposit? In fact, I also have my own answer - it must be "virus".

The erosion of the "virus" on the infected person has never only been reflected in the patient's body, but also in the patient's consciousness. In my cognition, "consciousness" is a high-dimensional embodiment, a form of higher dimensions than the "body", then, the "virus" that can involve the source of self-consciousness cannot be observed, that is, it is a matter of course - it may be higher than human consciousness, this is its most terrible place, the great unified theory in science should be theoretically a theory that can explain everything, including each dimension, but because its base point is too high, it was born in human consciousness, Human consciousness will naturally constrain the formation of the whole theory, and it is impossible for people to think about theories from a non-human perspective, which also fundamentally vetoes the true formation of the theory of great unification.

In the past, "Takakawa", Dorothy, and Tie Sei have always intended to use theories such as "superstring theory" that can theoretically become a unified theory to fight against the "virus" and solve all the problems caused by the "virus", but can the theory that was born and limited by human consciousness really fight against the existence that transcends human consciousness?

On this night, I finally clearly outlined the worries and uneasiness that had been hidden in my heart. I had vaguely recognized this in the past, but I couldn't form a clear outline, and I even expected myself to be wrong, but now I can't tell myself that the project led by Super Color and Dorothy still has the possibility of success.

Although, Super Color and Dorothy may have entered the stage of "inhuman" in terms of self-existence and ideology. However, the basis for their project is still the "superstring theory" or "grand unification theory" that was born from human consciousness and cognition, so I began to think that they had no chance of victory at all.

Human consciousness can only cope with the dimension in which consciousness is located, as well as the situation in the lower dimensions, and people have always believed that consciousness has no limit and can be infinitely expanded, but this view is actually wrong. Because. In the concept of human consciousness. Even if it is not mentioned, there is already an implicit limitation, and that is "human".

Yes, human awareness and pride in self-awareness. It is naturally confined to the category of "human". For non-human consciousness. Humanity itself has expressed the idea of "powerlessness" in many philosophies. And humanity is not without thinking. When non-human consciousness is higher than the possibility of human consciousness, only. That kind of transcendent consciousness is beyond the imagination of the naturally limited human consciousness, and can only vaguely put forward such a concept.

It is assumed that human consciousness is already the highest dimensional embodiment of human existence. Then, not only consciousness, but the entire form of existence, the non-human existence that transcends human consciousness, how can human beings use the theory born from their own consciousness and naturally limited by human consciousness to confront it?

The only thing that can fight monsters is monsters - this is the idea that is expressed to a greater or lesser extent in most occult science. In the past, I couldn't understand it, but now it seems that this is probably the most simple of all, and the concept of dealing with "anomalies", "mysteries", "unknowns" and "monsters" is also universally valid. Perhaps, there are some occult societies that imply that "human beings can fight monsters", but in these hints, there is a premise in itself - that is, the existence of those monsters does not exceed the height of the existence of human consciousness, and this statement is more simple, that is, "the existence of monsters must be at least within the scope of human imagination", and the "mystery" of these monsters is also limited by the premise of "human imagination".

However, the concept of "mystery", in its most simple state, does not have such a premise, which also means that human beings have tried to describe something that does not exist in their imagination. In the occult, to deal with this kind of thing is to rely on "luck" and "wisdom", with the help of the power of "monsters", to defeat "monsters".

And now, "virus" seems to be such a naïve concept that is absolutely in line with the "mystery", in an unimaginable way, the existence of zài, the unimaginable existence of zài.

The inability of humans to observe it is the fundamental premise of all knowledge of it. If one observes what seems to be its being, then one has to go back and re-judge what we have observed based on this fundamental premise.

I had such a vague concept a long time ago: in the "hospital reality", it is impossible to directly observe "rivers" and "viruses", and we can only judge whether they exist by the characteristics of the "doomsday syndrome" that they bring. In the apocalyptic fantasy, however, you can further feel the existence and influence of "rivers" and "viruses".

In the past, I think it was because in the "hospital reality", the high dimensionality of consciousness was limited by the physical dimension, so when the patient used certain methods, or like Gao Chuan in the past, directly introduced consciousness into the doomsday illusion, or collapsed into LCL, released the physical shackles, exposed the consciousness, and became the cornerstone of the doomsday illusion, he was able to observe and recognize the "river" and "virus" from a higher dimension.

In the present view, this idea is not wrong, but there are still limits. That is, in the past, I always thought that the "river" and "virus" that I observed, cognitive, or felt, even if the "river" and "virus" were not fully embodied in these feelings, observations, and cognitions, it also meant that I had found a channel to really get in touch with them. However, I don't have such naïve thoughts now.

Because, limited by the limitations of consciousness, although I have found that point, it does not mean that I can extend from this point to the surface. What I think of as a channel doesn't exist at all. My contact with the "river" and the "virus", from the very beginning, did not exist the possibility of expanding to the existence of all of them.

"Jiang" and "virus" are unknowable, incomprehensible, and even untouchable, at least unable to actively contact, and even if they are contacted, they are definitely not in a way that they can imagine, and in the process of contact, the cognitions and feelings generated are all distorted and wrong. Confined to my own consciousness, I may have thought of this in the past, but in my instinctive consciousness, I did not regard it as the most fundamental premise.

Even in the most frightening and desperate moments, I instinctively suppress these "absolutely unknowable, incomprehensible, untouchable" thoughts and try to make them exist. From dragging to the height of "human consciousness". Deny the word "absolutely" in the mind.

"Unknowable, unsolvable, untouchable" and "absolutely unknowable, unincomprehensible." untouchable". It looks similar. It is vague and can be taken as a meaning, but. It really has to be made clear, and the two meanings are definitely different in nature.

I just subconsciously reject the meaning of the word "absolute" and the "absolute" that exists in the reality that surrounds me. In human consciousness, the "absolute" is an abomination because it is trying to describe the limits of human consciousness. In the same way, human beings do not want to admit that there is an end to their imagination, and they do not want to admit that at the dark end, there is something that is "absolutely unimaginable". Human beings, the concept of "darkness" is limited to "darkness that can be illuminated one day", "unimaginable" is limited to "imagination that can be proved one day", and "absolute darkness" is denied, even though human beings themselves coined the word "absolute".

This is paradoxical, but understandable.

Now, however, I must admit, or rather, in order to do anything, I must think that "Jiang" and "Virus" are such an absolute existence that I do not want to admit and must also face.

As a result, I feel extremely glad that my plan revolves around the "river".

Only monsters are the only way to deal with monsters, in the sense of "absolutely", the only way to do so. It may be frustrating, but if this is the case, then the plans of the past, led by Takakawa, Tiese, and Dorothy, will never have the possibility of success, even one in ten million. And my plan has become the only one seedling that can succeed.

If, before this evening, I can still recognize the actions of another me, and think that the other plan that I carry out and my plan coexist zài, is the embodiment of "not putting all my eggs in the same basket". Now, then, the time has come to dismiss this idea.

I had to look at the other me, the color and Dorothy's plan with the strictest mindset, and it was cruel, and in their eyes, it was extreme, like a madman, but when I realized that I was dealing with a monster with absoluteness, I couldn't change it.

I knew very well that between the two ideas of "the truth is not as bad as I thought, I am scaring myself" and "the truth is as I thought, even worse", I chose the latter. This is because there is no possibility of compatibility and simultaneous response between these two ideas. It's simply impossible to swing between the two or make a plan to deal with both at the same time.

Therefore, I must also carry the hope and despair that this choice will bring.

Because I have a clearer understanding than in the past, the pressure I feel is heavier than in the past. The stress made it hard for me to breathe, leaving me in bed tossing and turning all night, making it difficult to sleep. So, I didn't have any more nightmares.

However, even I was amazed that the next day, my spirit was not sluggish at all, but more sober. I feel the negative effects of pressure, but this negative effect seems to be transformed into a huge force to sustain myself through some invisible channel.

It's not normal at all. However, isn't it an abnormal situation that has been stored from the beginning?

In the morning, without telling Dr. Ruan Li, I communicated with Sakuya, Bajing, and Zuo Jiang respectively, and when they talked about Tomie, they didn't look like they couldn't see Tomie as they appeared in the video. They all acknowledged Tomie's existence in terms of words and attitudes, which made it even more difficult to identify which side was correct when I confirmed that Dr. Nguyen Li and the camera had taken extremely contradictory and bizarre images, especially when I confirmed that Dr. Nguyen Li was not lying and that the images had not been altered.

Perhaps, both sides are correct, but the same thing shows different manifestations in the observations of different people - this also proves what a strange thing the "river" is, and also proves that all the observations of the "river" based on themselves will not be correct. Any feeling, imagining, and thinking about it is a deviation from its reality.

So, all the plans in the human imagination, including me, the color, and Dorothy, should be ineffective. But, it doesn't matter, I still love it.

"What a terrible story." Another day passed, and Sakuya and Hakkei saw the thoughts I had written in my notes for that night. They always said they believed that I was a "mystery expert", but they still didn't believe in the authenticity of the adventures I recounted. Even if the "mystery" once showed its figure around them, but. Compared to something like an electronic demon summoning system. The "adventure stories" I have written based on my own experiences and thoughts still seem too difficult, ridiculous, and weird, even if they have their names in them, and the names of people they know. But. They still feel. These stories are interspersed with the hallucinations I had at the time of my illness, as well as a lot of storytelling embellishments.

Sakiya and Hakkei believe that I am mentally ill and think. The stories I wrote, even if they were true, were only because "the mentally ill had encountered mysteries", and I couldn't figure out what the real mystery was and what my hallucinations were. Although, when we play together, when we talk about "mystery" together, they don't discriminate against me because I'm a mental patient, but they don't fully believe what I tell the truth of the story.

"Ah Chuan, it seems that you are really sick." Seeing the end, Hakkei smiled slightly teasingly, lowered his voice, and chanted like a drama: "Even so, I still love it." ”

"I didn't expect Miss Tomie to be even a person." Sakuya couldn't help laughing, "Agawa, if you write like this, won't Miss Tomie be angry?" ”

"I don't know, maybe not." I didn't have a problem with their ridicule, because they didn't want to believe the truth of this story, so no matter what I said, it was useless, not to mention, I am a mentally ill person, and it is natural that normal people don't believe the bizarre stories told by mentally ill people.

What's more, the "mysteries" I recorded in the story, especially the "river" and "virus", even people who have been in contact with the mysteries find it difficult to accept their authenticity.

For me, this story is a record of the truth, and for people like Sakiya and Hakkei, it's probably just a "bizarre and weird story written by a mentally ill person."

Sakiya and Hakkei often read my story, but that doesn't mean they like it, on the contrary, their attitude towards this story is, psychologically speaking, actually subconsciously full of rejection of this story. They don't get happy when they tease me, and I can tell from some of the details of their expressions. They were really worried about my condition.

Tomie also reads my stories a lot. Dr. Nguyen Li still can't see her cunzài, and in Dr. Nguyen Li's point of view, no one else but me can't see Tomie's cunzài, and she has tried many ways to prevent me from coming into contact with this "invisible friend", or rather, hoping that through guò treatment, I will no longer have such a "friend who does not have zài", however, a week of calm has passed, and it is clear that nothing has worked. Tomie comes to the house every day, and she always smiles meaningfully when she sees my stories about her, about other "rivers", about "viruses". She never expresses her opinion on the story itself, but, contrary to Sakiya and Hakkei, she likes the story. And, from the very beginning of this story, she was already a reader.

I still remember very well that when we first met, the first time we joined forces to face the terrible "mystery", it was she who encouraged me to write a story about my own encounters. Now, the length of the story is staggering, and it's getting weirder and harder to understand, and every time I look at it, I feel like it's becoming something else and not just a story.

It begins to stir the reader's brain, and the seemingly brilliant prelogue is like a giant trap - like in the "mystery", an ancient monster that opens its mouth, disguises itself as a cave, waits for the treasure hunters to walk in on their own, and then, just like that, swallows these people in one bite.

Yes, I think that this story, up to the present day, has begun to contain a kind of distorted mystery, and the story itself has been twisted into some kind of abnormal embodiment by this distorted mystery.

I was even a little worried that it would hurt the reader, and I didn't want to show it to Sakiya, Hakkei, and Dr. Nguyen Li anymore. However, Sakiya, Hakkei, and Dr. Nguyen Le dismissed my concerns, believing that they were just delusions of victimization caused by my psychopathy. (To be continued......)