In the impression that the other Takakawa left on me, Novsky was once a human being, and I won't mention what kind of character he was when he was a human, but when he was "transported" to Area 51 as a child of destiny, he had become a monster lacking humanity. I don't know if the lack of humanity and emotion was a disguise or if there was some force that really eliminated the sensibilities that inevitably exist as a social creature, but until now I could clearly feel an emotion called "fear" flowing from the depths of his heart.

It was as if his heart, which had been rolled by the power of the repeater and had become as hard as steel, had been corroded by the anomaly and power of the Alienated Right River, and when this crack appeared, the erosion called "fear" would deepen even more.

I glanced at Novsky and could understand how he was feeling and what he was going to do next. Because this kind of inner erosion is not simply an instinctive fear of an existence that threatens one's own life, this fear is complex, and it seems to stem from one's own weakness or the strength of the enemy, but I still can't understand what it is.

A strong will, an instinct to transform, is all difficult to stop the erosion of this fear. Even if the heart is made of highly resistant materials that are embalmed, or in other words, even if it is a completely rational thing that should not have any sensibility, it is impossible to escape the fate of being seized by this fear. It seems that as long as you can think, you can't avoid the feeling of this fear, and you can't prevent yourself from producing all kinds of delusions in this fear, which make the fear deeper and make the emotions more desperate - there is no evidence to prove that everything delusional is true, but it is impossible to suppress the possibility of thinking that "all this is true".

Such fears. And the existence of this fear, which is the most terrible mystery for me.

I have been living with this fear, this mystery, this irresistible contagion for a long time, and I actually have a relatively clear point in time about the beginning of all this—that is, from the moment I felt the presence of the "river".

Before and after feeling the "river". My cognition, my fate, and the world I have observed are almost two completely different appearances, and all the things that make people suffer and despair are presented in my world one by one with the emergence of the "river" in my body. Sometimes, I can't even tell whether it was the "Jiang" that led to this unbelievable adventure, or whether these deep, painful and desperate fates existed. That's why I was placed in a "script" and discovered "Jiang".

It seems too late for me to figure out the chicken-and-egg question now. I am already on a path from which there is no turning back, and if I stop or change direction, everything I have done in the past will be denied. I sometimes feel that I am not afraid of my past being denied. Even if you know that you can't be a hero, even if you assume that your death will not be remembered by anyone. In my heart, there is only a faint melancholy, not a strong resistance to this fate.

The only thing that I can't let go of the most is that in my memory, it seems to be in the heart of every Gao Chuan, the unreal promise that I don't know whether it is true or false. This promise is changing like a marquee. In the fragments that seem to be memories and illusions, it is like the promise made by the original Takakawa, and then it is continued in each Takakawa and becomes a part of the personality. Maybe for everyone Gao Chuan, including me. It becomes the source of our constant birth, death, despair, and struggle.

If I give up on the path I have taken, will the path chosen by others be the right one?

If I stopped, turned back, and didn't do these things that were wrong in the eyes of others, would I have a better ending?

What evidence is there that the path I am not willing to give up is the wrong one? In the face of the never-ending unknown, everyone thinks that they know better, and therefore they seem to be more accurate, but is this really not arrogant?

In the face of the "virus" that cannot be observed, judged, and accurately described, is there really a correct route that will inevitably reach a happy ending?

Who can go on the right path after I give up and die, to save the people Takakawa loves so much?

Will it be that when I give up and die, the path I have walked is actually the right path, but because of my failure, others will subconsciously deny it, and then I will never be able to take the right path?

Yes, what I am afraid of is not whether I exist or not, nor whether I am right or not, but if I don't try, if I don't go to the end of my path, to touch the mysterious ending. Then no one can prove that I am wrong or right. And whether I am right or wrong, I must leave such an accurate impression on the successor Gao Chuan to ensure that it will not repeat the mistakes of the past.

No one has reached the end before me, so I have to reach an end, no matter what it is.

I am a pioneer, carrying not only salvation, but also a mission.

It is with this will that I face the suffering, the terror and the despair that lie ahead.

Just as I do not deny the path that the other prosthetic Takakawa and the Seki and Dorothy believe in, I have never regarded them as enemies, precisely because if they do not go on, it is also impossible for people to understand whether their choice is right or wrong. In this sense, Takakawa is a forerunner like me. It's just that he's completely inheriting the old plan, and I'm opening up a new one. No one, without any evidence, can fully prove between us what is right and what is wrong. If there is, it is only due to our own sensibility, cognitive and observational limitations, and self-confidence to make ourselves strong.

Perhaps, our paths will inevitably collide, but when we each try our best to walk on our own path, even after the collision, one of us will inevitably be able to move forward. Entrust this regret and fighting spirit to the other party.

Because, we all have the same good wishes, so we embarked on this path of trying to become heroes. Under the unity of this Takakawa's will, the loser can be blinded, and the reborn can also throw off the shackles left by other Takakawa personalities. Pack light and face the terrifying future that every Takakawa has to experience.

I understand all too well what a mysterious, weird, and terrifying apocalypse I am in. What a grotesque thing we are faced with that cannot be explained by common sense, experience and cognition.

It's not just me, it's everyone in this apocalyptic fantasy, no, I should say, even the hospital reality. As far as I could not observe, everyone in the vast world beyond the hospital island was also in such a perilous and grotesque and terrifying future.

Therefore, whether Novsky tried to suppress this fear and continue to fight, or immediately hugged his head, it did not make my mood fluctuate in the slightest. I don't despise him just because he closes them, and I don't look because he opens them. To accept, to fight, to accept him. Precisely because of understanding his situation. So, as early as he perceived his fear, he had already accepted any possibility that existed in the face of that unpredictable fear.

I never expected these occult experts.

For a long time, I didn't expect anyone to be my hero and come to my rescue. Even if the "river" is in my body. It is the being that I love, and the being that I think will love me, but it will also be silent and disappear, and it must be admitted that it is completely impossible to predict its goals and actions. These are incomprehensible. It does not change because of love or not love, because love is an emotion, and understanding is based on reason.

I think that pure love can save everything, but I also know very well that this is just wishful thinking on my part. I act on the basis of emotion, but I don't just have emotion, and reason never leaves my brain.

Thinking rationally, I can't be the one who is saved, so I want to be a hero who can be saved. There is no one to rely on, and the one who can change everything the most is exactly what I love deeply but can't understand. On the road together, it can sometimes be arrogant and passionate, and see the thorns as nothing, but I can only bow my head and be silent, walking on the path I have chosen.

Life is unfair to everyone and unreasonable, throwing yourself into the mud and facing the shower, and you can't help yourself.

"Five minutes." I took a deep breath, spit it out again, and raised my gaze, colliding with the alienated Youjiang again, "How long is left?" ”

"There's four minutes left to get full." Novsky rarely showed a wry smile that was extremely humane.

"I'll deal with that monster. How about reversing the demon handed over to you? I didn't hesitate at all, but Novsky snapped for a moment and snorted hesitantly. His tangled performance made me look more pleasing to the eye, just because he was more like a person than a monster before him.

It was as if his soul had fallen from an unreachable dimension to a dimension accessible to everyone after being greatly shocked, but his strength was still trustworthy compared to the gray mist demon who was rebelled by the alienated right river.

I guess his mood at this time, maybe he was once proud, and this pride was beaten into the mud, as if the whole world was provoking him. If he really does, then he is never a "monster", but only regarded himself as a "monster" by others and himself. However, in the face of the alienated Youjiang, who is really a monster, all the "self-thoughts" are so fragile.

Novsky is now terrified. The rancid smell of fear could be smelled even when I plugged my nose. Whether he admits it or not, even if he has the power of the repeater, as long as he can't overcome the fear in his heart, he will only usher in despair. Nowsky, who has fallen into such a situation, cannot be the opponent of the alienated right river at all - I have no evidence to prove my conclusion, but what I have encountered in the past is telling me this truth.

I reached out and patted him on the shoulder, maybe it was the comfort of the seniors to the juniors? I don't know, it's just a well-intentioned feeling. I could have ignored him, but it was he who caught me in the fall, and whatever I thought, it was a gesture of kindness to me. I can't laugh at the fight with him before, but at least, at times like this, I can accept and reciprocate the kindness.

Without letting him continue to struggle, I put my spear on my shoulder and strode towards the Alienated Right River.

I moved my wrists, my torn muscles and internal organs, and I was able to fight again under the powerful self-healing power of the fourth-level Demonic Emissary.

I wiped the blood from my nose, the corners of my eyes, and the piercings of my ears, and I wanted to get a cigarette if I could.

Thinking so, I subconsciously pulled out a cigarette and a lighter from my pocket - they appeared strangely and inexplicably, but they could not surprise me anymore.

It would be great if everything could be "fulfilled in all wishes" like this cigarette.

With that in mind, I flicked the cigarette into my mouth, held it, and lit it.

A quark chirped from the sky, and the chain of decisions unfolded again. It was like a starting gun, and the gray mist demon who was reversed by the alienated right river, the red surface muscle texture had extremely subtle and complex movements at this moment, and I swept towards her and it before these movements expanded into action.

In an instant, the invisible high-speed passage was staggered in the form of fragments on this battlefield, covering the earth and the sky.

The fragments continue to form passages in an immediate and complex way, and then shift through the passages of different routes, sometimes turning into fragments and scattering in other locations. I can't see it, but in my senses, the pieces are like crumbs of different colors in a kaleidoscope, and every time I turn the kaleidoscope, these debris will be put together into a different pattern.

I am galloping in this kaleidoscopic change, and every time I set foot is an indescribably short point of time for others, and every time I shift, it is difficult for them to catch up with it through consciousness and instinct, let alone take action. In the chain decision, people and non-people who are active in these activities have different speeds, different reactions, different frequencies and different modes of movement. However, the only thing that can really keep up with me is the alienation of Youjiang. (To be continued.) )