Dr. Nguyen Li said things that fit her identity, and those words are nothing new. She repeatedly instilled in me a concept that I couldn't fully embrace. It's like my resurrection this time, I keep saying that I have to sacrifice everything in exchange for a chance, but I really can't calmly harden my heart when facing Sakuya and Hachisei, and sit back and watch the whole world fall apart. Yes, no one can prove that everything I have seen is true, and the death and suffering of the people I have seen here do not allow me to think that it is all false.

I have my own judgments, my own perceptions, and these judgments and perceptions are all based on what I have seen, heard, and thought. And my pain and contradictions all come from this - what I see and hear limits my scope of observation, and what I think makes me feel like a stupid psychopath. But even so, can I ignore the struggle of the people around me in such an apocalypse? Can I not think about how I can get rid of all the pain I see?

I'm just a patient, and there are many things I can't do, but isn't it a mistake to take all the things I have experienced and seen with my own eyes as false?

Dr. Nguyen Lê's theory is not surprising, and there is a similar statement in the reality of the hospital. If, then, there is information about the source of all this suffering in the hallucination, is it the same as giving up the last chance to ignore it as just an illusion? If this is the right thing to do, then why did Dr. Nguyen Le join forces with the workshop to develop a "paradise"? Why did the researchers in the hospital still use all methods to collect information in the so-called "Doomsday Illusion"?

There is no essential difference between what Dr. Ruan Li is doing and what I am doing. It's just that. When she saw those hallucinations about "mystery" and felt that she was being eroded by white Claudia, I was already indulging in them. She wants to enter this world that she sees as hallucinations, trying to explain these hallucinations, find out the root cause of the hallucinations, and create targeted drugs. Isn't it ridiculous to ask me to get rid of these "hallucinations"?

It's ridiculous, but I don't have any reason to laugh at her, because all I feel from it is the warmth of my family. I understand that Dr. Nguyen Le is the root of these contradictions, but. Just as she wants me to return to what she thinks is the right world, I also hope that she can live like this and not get caught up in the apocalypse.

However, there is probably no way to realize such a wish.

Because, whether or not you will become a patient is involuntary. In the pathology of plague-like contagion. So far, there is no specific drug for prevention and treatment. "Paradise" is not a medicine to cure diseases, but simply a psychedelic drug that fights poison with poison.

"Mom. Maybe the black water of four billion people is really an illusion, but even if you look at it from a scientific point of view, it means that four billion people are in pain, and this is the proof that White Claudia brought the end of the world, isn't it? "I sat upright. Raising his head, he looked at Dr. Ruan Li, not avoiding her sharp and tough gaze at all, "I want to do something, I must be able to do it." Because, Mom, you also said that only by facing illusions can you defeat the enemy, because the enemy's information is hidden in the information that constitutes these illusions. I don't have the intelligence of my mother, the sanity and the knowledge to find out what the enemy is really like in this mess of information, but I think—"

I took a deep breath: "As long as you overcome everything in the illusion, you will definitely be able to cause trouble for the enemy." Because, if all this is an illusion, then it is also the enemy's message that guides the illusion. Whether the enemy is something, some kind of life that actually exists, or the elusive anomaly is unknown, when it leads something, it must gain something, and that guidance will allow it to get what it wants. The end of the world exists, whether in your eyes, Mom, or in my eyes, the world is heading for the end, that is, in the great differences, there is the clearest and most direct common denominator. So, Mom, let me go. Let me fight, to struggle, let me do my best, to face what's behind the apocalypse, whatever that is. ”

Dr. Nguyen Le bent down abruptly and held me in her arms, I felt her body tremble, I felt she was crying. It was as if under that hardened attitude, a soul that rippled and was as fragile as water.

"It is not the patient's duty to treat the disease, but the doctor's duty. You don't have any reason to be a hero, and I just hope that you're just Gao Chuan, not some kind of hero. Her voice rang in my ears, "I can guess what you're going to 'see' next." You're always driven by illusions to do what you think you should do, but how can you be sure that that's really what you should do? This time, I'm going to put an end to all of that. ”

As soon as she said that, I felt something sharp bite on my neck.

"Ah Chuan, in your diary, you can always get the special medicine to suppress the disease in the hands of Dr. Ruan Li. Now, you'll get it too. Because, I am Dr. Nguyen Li. What your Dr. Nguyen Le can do, the real Dr. Nguyen Le in front of you, can do better. ”

After a breath, my body was paralyzed, and then my consciousness fell into a haze, and I felt like I was going to fall unconscious, and the light above my head became the surface of the water that refracted the light, and I sank into the water, unable to move, and kept falling.

It's getting farther and farther away from the waves of water that are filled with light.

In the haze, I heard only trivial sounds: closing, moving, footsteps, machinery running, liquid flowing......

I was still sinking, and there was a refraction of light above, as if the waves of water inlaid with countless gems were rippling. The ripples seemed to tell some information, and I felt that it was Dr. Nguyen Li who was speaking.

Then, she left with something.

I suddenly realized that in fact, she had already completed the research on the black water and the Four Heavenly Courtyard coconuts, and made a special "paradise" accordingly. Now, she's going to set out to face that terrible monster or plague.

No! Don't be alone! Take me! Take me! - I struggled to lift my hand, trying to reach out to the rippling water. However, I couldn't control my sinking, and I could only watch as I got farther and farther away from the water. I am being consumed by darkness, even if it is deeper and darker. The warmer it is, the calmer it is.

Ah Chuan, we will see you again, and then, you will be fine, I promise - I seem to hear the voice of Dr. Nguyen Li.

I opened my mouth, and my throat was filled with an influx of fluid, filling my lungs, muffling out all sounds.

Countless bubbles bubble up in front of your eyes, floating up.

And then. I was completely plunged into the abyss of darkness that seemed endless.

I opened my eyes vigorously, and the familiar, surgical, hard-and-cold texture filled my field of vision again. I found myself soaking in a coffin-like container, filled with liquid that distorted the scenery outside. I was immersed in the liquid without feeling stuffy, but it wasn't surprising that I was in a container like this for the first time. This is a medical pod. Or maybe it's a life support pod, but it doesn't matter what the name is.

Why am I here? Memories quickly came back in my mind. Stand in front of this container. Everything that happened, the information that was vaguely left behind, was squeezed out of the brain little by little.

I'm sure I'm unconscious, but how long ago was the last struggle? There is no timer here.

My awakening didn't alarm anything, I'm pretty sure of it. Dr. Nguyen Le is no longer here.

I slammed the transparent hatch hard, and a complex path of light suddenly appeared on the hatch, and the red light spread from the place where it was struck to all sides, and the more outward it went, the lighter it became, as if to describe the route of dispersion and weakness of the force. I leaned forward. I slammed my head on the hatch, and the hard, strong force reflected on my forehead, which made me feel pain, but the pain made me more conscious.

The next moment, as if I heard a call in my mind, a pitch-black crow sprang out of the shadows in the corner and churned in this small, over-the-top room filled with too many instruments. After a few turns, it disappeared into the shadows again, and when it reappeared, it had come to me, and although it seemed to me as if it were immersed in these liquids, it was as easy to move as if these liquids were illusions that did not exist.

Quark –

Quark turned into a cloak and enveloped me in it. I fell backwards, and within a few moments, I felt my back press against the hard, flat ground, and a slight coolness covered my skin. I tore off my cloak, and it turned into a raven again. Raven Quark squeaked softly and stood on my shoulder. I ignored the nakedness and surveyed the room. Obviously, this room is not the same as the operating room where I woke up last time, but again, there is no timer.

There was nothing left in the room except for the sound of machinery working. There was no trace of Dr. Nguyen Lê here, and her breath seemed to have been bleached. My body moved, I didn't have any impression of it, but it seemed to know how to leave. I subconsciously fiddled with the instrument panel of the machine, and I had no idea what the buttons, the lights, the sounds, and the display were not even on the machine—they could only be described as rough and bulky, like the people in the apocalyptic movies, unearthing the remains of more advanced products from a century ago, crudely and indiscriminately spliced together.

Then, the door appeared and opened widely.

It was as if my body was familiar with everything in front of me, and I went with my instincts.

Step out, with no more passages and stairs, I suddenly found myself standing in the hut where I had been talking to Dr. Nguyen Le before I fell unconscious. At my feet, behind me, there was no trace of the entrance and exit that had brought me here. I felt like I had undergone a spatial transformation, moving in an instant.

This situation can certainly be called weird, and from the very beginning, this place and Dr. Nguyen Le were filled with a sense of "mystery", but I couldn't deny that Dr. Nguyen Le used to sit here and talk to me by the window. If you say that illusion and reality are intertwined, this is probably what it feels.

Dr. Nguyen Le was gone, and the room was silent. The light shone in white white, and the figures on the ground seemed to be squirming all the time. For the first time, I realized that there was only one window here, the window I had looked out at before, and there was only one mirror, a mirror that did not reflect my figure.

I tried to open the window, but the leaves seemed to be frozen in the space, and it seemed like it was just a very realistic picture that was painted.

I walked over to the mirror, looked at the world in the mirror, and was convinced again. Yes, the ornaments in the house are reflected in the mirror, but there is no me. It was as if to suggest to me that the "self" I felt was false, or that the place where I didn't exist was false.

But if the self feels like it's false, then where is the real self? If I don't exist here, then what is "here"? I touched the mirror, and there was a hard, smooth, cold touch that seemed to remind me that it was real.

I went to the chair and sat down. I've searched every corner of this room and found many traces of Dr. Nguyen Li's stay, but now only these traces remain. There were many small clues that sketched in my mind the scene of Dr. Nguyen Le leaving this room.

She packed her bags, took her medicine, turned and pushed open the door—however, the room I had seen was so tightly fenced, the wood that served as the wall was so hard that it could not be thought to be a single piece of wood, and there was only one window, which could not be opened.

I woke up, but I couldn't leave. The room was filled with the smell of medicine and disinfectant, like a ward, deliberately renovated into a daily home, and I was the only patient held here.

These trivial but seemingly intricately linked, vaguely linked to each other, form a complete outline of information, in my mind, constantly assembled into a grotesque and reasonable imagination at first glance.

But I just want to get out of here. I knew I couldn't do anything in this room.

Suddenly, the quark standing on my shoulder screamed a few times, and I looked in the direction it was staring, and suddenly I realized that there was a pack of cigarettes on the coffee table not far away, and I was pretty sure that I had checked it before, and the coffee table was empty. (To be continued.) )