"Grave keeper, where are you going to guard the tomb? Could it be that we are going to the tomb of the immortals? "I couldn't react for a while, the answer Ruxue gave me was to go to the tomb? Why do you always guard it, you used to guard the stockade, but now you are guarding the tomb?

Ruxue did not rush to answer me, but walked forward in a hurry, and there was a big rock not far ahead, and she sat down on that big stone, and motioned for me to sit down.

I have all kinds of emotions in my heart, sadness, reluctance, doubt, but these emotions are all very small, because they are not as sweet as me and Ruxue together.

I sat down next to Ruxue, Ruxue naturally leaned on my shoulder, and breathed a long sigh of relief, we were all comfortable in this posture, not because of intimacy, but because of snuggling, as if relying on the feeling of guarding each other.

"It's said that it's the grave keeper, not the tomb, but these bugs, Chengyi, if I say that, can you understand the reason why I'm leaving?" Ruxue's voice was still faint, but there was more sadness at this time.

I didn't know what to say, so I habitually touched the cigarette from my pocket, and Ruxue took my hand and said, "Actually, I've always wanted you to quit it." ”

I didn't argue with Ruxue, but let go and said, "I'll count my important people to you, first of all, my family, but I can't get along with them for a long time before a certain age!" So I left home when I was a child, and Master said that my parents were weak. Then came my master, who walked away, singing sister, you boldly go forward, teasing the women of the village, and just like that. And then there's you, you say you're leaving, what's left of me, it's my friend, but doesn't my friend have a life of his own? Sometimes I feel that smoking is the only thing I rely on, and I can't quit. ”

Ruxue didn't speak, some cold hands grabbed me, and said: "If you can't quit, forget it, if you can't keep it, you can only bear it, what you have to do, no matter how difficult it is, you have to do it!" Seiichi, do you know this bug? Speaking of which, it is the legacy of our Yueyan Miao Village, and when it comes to me, it should be paid back after all. ”

"I don't want to hear this now, like snow, for whatever reason I put aside, I just want to ask you, if you want to stay here, what kind of form is staying here, can we still meet? If, like snow, I mean if, is there any possibility for you to give up? Saying that, I was afraid that Ruxue would refuse, so I said anxiously: "Ruxue, Lao Zhang said, the woman wants to leave, and the man can't stay, so I give a blessing to make her feel at ease, but I can't keep you, you know"

Ruxue covered my mouth and said, "If you want, listen to me!" You still can't change your impatience, but this is Chen Chengyi. ”

I took a deep breath and said to Ruxue, "Well, you say, I'll listen." ”

"Since entering the old forest, I have actually felt the call from the soul, I didn't lie to you, I just hid from you, the call is so urgent, when I was dreaming in the middle of the night, I could hear someone keep telling me that it was too late! At that time, I actually wanted to tell you that everything was wrong, do you know why I didn't say it? Ruxue said faintly.

"I don't know." Naturally, I don't know why Ruxue refused to mention this to me from beginning to end.

"It's because for so many years, I've been suppressing myself, desperate, abandoning everything, being intimate with you, the urge to be with you, whenever I have that urge, I choose not to sleep all night long, and then let myself be tired to the extreme, and after sleeping, I don't think about anything, and after a long time, this depression has become a habit. Accustomed to not sharing my heart with you, not being too intimate with you, abiding by the promise of seeing you once a year, and suppressing all my feelings! In the final analysis, I am afraid that I will be weak, and once I am weak, the defense line in my heart will be loosened. In the final analysis, not telling at the beginning is just a habit, getting used to it. Ruxue was very calm when she said this.

And I looked at Ruxue in shock, I couldn't imagine that I thought it was light like snow, it was so lonely years, I always knew that Ruxue was the kind of woman who was not good at expressing, but her heart was as hot as fire, but what I didn't expect was that she could be suppressed so deeply, so deep that it has become a stubborn habit!

"Isn't that amazing?" Ruxue smiled, as beautiful as ever, but her tone was very relaxed, as if the pain did not happen to her at all, she held my hand and did not let me speak, but continued to say to herself: "Chengyi, in fact, we are very similar in some ways, knowing that we will be deeply in love, so, in many cases, stiff and even cold, resisting the approach of others, I am even more than you. I suddenly found that I want to say a lot to you, such as the pain of my parents' parting when I was a child, I am such as the introvert of the month, she wants to open, lively and happy life, but I am stuffy in my heart, and I have grown up until now. I find me talking like a mess, but you understand, don't you? ”

"I can understand." I held Ruxue's hand tightly, how could I not understand, from sadness to incomprehension, from habit to numbness, and finally from numbness to resistance, isn't this how I am in my wanderings again and again?

"Yes, you can understand, we always have too much tacit understanding, but we are all wrong, the fault is that we can't see through love, and always deliberately let love stay in the most beautiful state, just like me, I have always maintained such an image, light and light, so that your heart is like snow, but in fact, the snow in your heart, have you ever been a crazy woman who hasn't slept for a few nights? Is there a snow in your heart, but you have the appearance of going to a remote place alone to shout and even go crazy? Not to mention that after getting close to life, our love fell from the sky to the mortal dust, is that love still the most beautiful? In fact, we love each other, but we don't really understand each other, and we don't necessarily understand each other if we have a tacit understanding. Ruxue looked at me and said with a smile.

"Ruxue, don't say it, you know what you look like, I'm am," I said eagerly.

"No, Cheng Yi, just like the most powerful life divination two veins, it is not a trivial life, just like the most powerful Xiangzi veins can't see through what changes will happen in Feng Shui after a hundred years, how can you say that you have seen your own love dead? That's what really takes time to precipitate, get along day and night, so after that, can you still say, I love you, just like the first time you met? Chengyi, thank you very much for letting my love stay in the most beautiful state, so what are the regrets? Ruxue looked at me and said.

"Are you telling me the answer? Are you saying that you won't see me again in the future, and you're not coming out? What the hell is going on? You tell me, okay? "I'm powerless, I thought Lao Zhang's words, I understood it very deeply, but after all, I couldn't match the heartache at this moment, grabbed Ruxue's hand, stuck it on my face, and my eyes were red.

"I'm telling you the answer, once I was a Gu girl, and what I longed for most was freedom, just like my aunt, because only when she had freedom could she stay with Jiang Ye, even if she was free, marriage was no longer important. I also quietly asked my aunt, so why don't you fight for freedom? My aunt told me that the words freedom and selfishness seem to be irrelevant, but it is very possible that in a single thought, let them merge together, because these two words, which are preceded by self-words, emphasize self, that is, self-centered words! Later, what my aunt often said, that is, people always have to have responsibilities, and no one can be isolated from this world, just like Jiang Ye often said to you, people have to have a bottom line, it's the same. No matter how beautiful our love is, there are too many things that it can't beat, just like inheriting you, counting your most important people, there are your parents, can you bear to see them worrying about you until the moment you close your eyes? Can you? Do you think that you are watching over your love with me, even if your parents don't mind the affairs of their offspring, but thinking that their only son will live his life so coldly, and even die alone, will they go away with peace of mind? And I, leaving the stockade and being with you desperately, even if the people in the stockade don't accuse me, can I feel at ease? I don't live up to you, I don't live up to the village, you don't live up to me, you lose your parents, we are stuck in the multiple-choice question of life, we have been entangled for too long, isn't it good now? Fate helped us find out. Ruxue said to me word by word.

"Yes, fate has helped us make the answer, but in the future, if I have my own home, or even my own children, don't you feel distressed when you think about this? I thought to myself that it would be distressing, really, it would be distressing. My eyes were red, and I said very seriously.

"I don't doubt your sincerity in saying this at this moment, but as Lao Zhang said, the distress at that time could no longer withstand the trivial matters of reality at that time, and when I handed it over to time, everything would fade. And another sentence that Lao Zhang didn't say was that the distress at that time could not withstand the responsibility at that time, the parents, the children, and the wife all said that the child's life was not smooth, and your disobedience was on me, but I am a woman after all, but I am very grateful for this disobedience, so that my love stayed at the most beautiful time, in the end, you still love me, and in the future, your heart will really reserve a place for me, just like Lao Zhang, listening to him say that, I will think of the woman he likes, I am already satisfied, I was completely relieved at that moment! Isn't it, I still have a woman's selfishness and scheming? Ruxue gently wrapped her fingers around my chest.

At this moment, if I don't know what Ruxue means, then I'm really a fool, the matter is really irreparable, Ruxue didn't say that she won't see me again, but she is already saying another sentence - from tonight onwards, that is, completely let go, I understand that Ruxue's mind has been decided.

"Not selfish, very good, and thank you for loving me so much." My voice choked, but I didn't shed tears.

Letting go, it's also a kind of wisdom, Ruxue has more of this wisdom than me, yes, she's fine.