At lunchtime, I still have to go out, because the nucleic acid report takes about five or six hours, and I only did it this morning, and it may not come out until the afternoon, so my father still can't enter the inpatient area.

Moreover, psychiatric patients must be accompanied 24 hours a day, so I can only follow my mother out again.

I feel like I might be like a puppet, they point to the east and I don't go west, but I can't speak, I can't express my emotions.

The smell of the food was disgusting, and I could only resist by not looking at it and not eating it.

The result of resistance is that the parents, whose faces have just turned back, are black again.

I'm afraid of their black faces, but I can't control the resistance of my body when I see the food and smell it.

So I could only cringe.

In the afternoon, I got the nucleic acid results, and my father also came in, and the two escorts were not uncommon here, and some were serious, as long as the nucleic acid was done as an escort, there could be countless ones.

When my mother was chatting with the aunt, she said that I didn't eat.

Ah Yan said that her sister would take nutrient solution if she didn't eat.

Over the years, I have become afraid of the hospital and the doctor.

Infusion, the blood vessels on my two hands can clearly see a piece of needle eye gathered. This is accumulated over the years, I heard my mother say that I grew up in a medicine jar since I was a child, there are not many major diseases, but there are many minor diseases, at least once a month I have to go to the hospital.

Ah Yan said that a patient she knew here before had a hunger strike, and when she didn't eat, the doctor gave her a nutrient solution.

But I'm not on a hunger strike, I'm not interested in eating, or even anything in this world.

I'm not afraid of pain, jumping off a building, hanging myself is the easiest and most effective, but I'm afraid of scaring my family.

I have younger siblings, my grandmother, and my parents, and I would be scared to see me actually jumping off a building or hanging from the ceiling.

So I chose to die quietly.

Took medicine, took more than 20 sleeping pills, and didn't die! There were countless knives on the wrist, but the knife did not cut the major artery, and it did not die!

I don't know if it's because I'm desperate or if I'm reluctant to die......

In the afternoon, there are psychotherapy activities, sitting and reading. The nurse's sister came to call me, but I didn't go, just nestled in a bunch on the bed.

When I was doing exercises, my little brother came to call me, and I didn't go.

Dad was lying alone in the hospital bed, Mom was lying next to him, and I only found a triangle at the head of the bed, so that I would feel better curled up.

In the afternoon, a doctor came to inform me to go to the sleep computer room, do a sleep quality test, wash my hair, and they asked me to go out again, saying that I would go out and turn around and my hair would dry.

I won't argue, I won't refuse, so I went out anyway.

There is a supermarket across the road, and in the evening, it is a downtown area, and there is a university nearby, so there are quite a lot of people.

The sweat in the palms of his hands was already clenched, his hands were clenched tightly, and his fists were white.

The brain rumbled blank.

Dad broke my hand and pulled me in, but I was afraid that I was nervous and uncomfortable, so I couldn't control myself, I didn't know how tight my fists were, but Dad said I pinched him.

So I took my father's hand and grabbed the corner of his clothes, crossed the street through the underpass, and walked a little way, which was a small shopping mall.

The supermarket is the most conspicuous, the voice of entering the supermarket and shouting special prices makes me want to cover my ears, I will only hide behind my father when I see people, as if others can't see me, and I can't see others, this may be covering my ears and stealing the bell/

When I passed the meat section, I had to walk with my nose covered.

After shopping, I only bought AD calcium milk, and some bread.

Because I can't eat anything else, my favorite in my life is sugar, milk tea, AD calcium milk, and almond milk, and the others I am not very interested in.

So to reassure them, I took some bread to prove that I would eat well.

When I went back, I was soaked in a cold sweat, and if it wasn't for winter, wearing a sweater, maybe they would have found out.

When I got back, I went to the sleep computer room, where the doctor was already waiting, and countless threads were going to stick to my body, legs, hands, head, and face.

In the end, I lay down on the bed that I had prepared with the thread on my head.

At this time, my brother and sister seemed to be on vacation, and I called the video over, and my brother had some comforting words, and it was really warm to listen to it.

When I think of the time when he and I quarreled, when we fought, I almost thought that he was not the same person.

My sister said that she didn't do well in the midterm this time, and the teacher criticized her, and she talked very little, but she cried a lot, and I don't know if it was distressed to see my appearance, or the teacher criticized and was wronged, my parents were not at home, wronged, anyway, I felt uncomfortable in my heart.

I can only find a topic to talk about, but I don't know what to say when I think about it, and the one sentence that comes out of my mouth is "I want to go home, I don't want to be hospitalized." ”

Then my brother comforted me again, if it weren't for the threads on my head and face, as well as on my hands, I am afraid that I would have wiped away my tears a long time ago.

Two beds, and one person, also a girl, didn't seem to have a good temper, she didn't speak, and I didn't speak, which made the doctor and aunt a little embarrassed.

"You two have a chat, too."

I just smiled at the aunt and looked at the other side, but she didn't care.

Later, my mother brought me a bottle of milk and my lollipop, but I didn't finish the milk that night, and the candy was pressed under the pillow and I forgot to take it.

Her father seemed to have brought a bowl of noodles, and listening to her suck and eat, I had no appetite, only felt nauseous.

The doctor said she could not sleep until after nine o'clock, but she fell asleep after eating and was still snoring.

One night, I seemed to be asleep and not asleep, and every time my mother came to see me, I knew that I was in a daze.

I woke up at five o'clock the next morning, quietly looking at the ceiling, I was in a very calm mood, and the one next to me may have woken up, and then I began to call his dad, I was also scared but I wouldn't call, and my dad came in and sat with me for a while. Her father also came, and I was very envious of the baby screaming, but my father came in to sit with me when I woke up, and I thought I was fine, and I didn't envy her very much.

After taking those threads, I was fried, and it was originally waist-length and straight, but now it looks like an explosive head.

Hurry to the bathroom, wash your hair, still dripping water, and have to run to the ward to wait for the doctor to go on rounds.

Ah Yan's mother was very enthusiastic and said that it would be faster to dry dry with a hair dryer, we didn't have it, but they lent it to us.

Ah Yan, who came in and asked first, Ah Yan, who was originally sitting casually, saw the doctor come in and immediately sat on the board, and I was the same, I was already sweating in my palms, and Ah Yan asked me after asking.

Ah Yan replied fluently, but I didn't even dare to speak, and the words I said were just like mosquitoes, so small that it was difficult to hear, but the professor was also very patient, and his ears stretched out to me to listen, just when I was about to collapse nervously, Dr. Ma relieved me, and he told the professor what he asked my mother yesterday.

A group of people dressed in white went out, and Ah Yan and I opened our palms to sweat on one hand, and the tension of high concentration was inexplicably a little tired.

But there is still treatment to be done......