Chapter 813: Pitching (38)

Blue Mandala: Pitch (Varu Araan)

（38）

I've shown many people photos and interpreted dreams, but no one can interpret my dreams. You may think that I write dreams as a foreshadowing of a novel, not a dream but an imagination, a prophecy. But it's really a dream.

If I read my previous diary, I can also feel the traces of time and my own thoughts every day, but I added some Russian words and shorthand symbols to the diary, and it was written backwards from the last page, and it was difficult to read it from the first page, especially if the voyeur was still inexplicably afraid, it was impossible to find that the order was read smoothly.

When I read it now, I clearly feel trivial and naïve. Since I was in the third grade of elementary school, I have been talking nonsense about a subject every day, instinctively opposing the universally accepted truth, finding allusions that no one mentions, and extending it into generalized reasoning, mocking everyone around me, as if everyone else is crazy, but I am not.

Now, I'm at the age of no doubt, but this problem is still the same. As soon as I found out that a text had been plagiarized by someone else, I immediately changed or deleted it, determined to be different from the others. Therefore, there were already 1 million words on the day of the official continuous update (2009.6.25.), and it was written for nearly a year, and now it is just over a million.

I'm telling the nasty truth, like mud under the blue waves, no one will stir up and spoil a pool of beauty. People pretend to be deaf and dumb, or sneer, or fail to review or delete the page, trying to kill my spirit, but it just exercises my will.

Just as stirring the wine residue can destroy the quality of a good wine, there are bad things in the world that should be avoided and good things that should be imitated, but I have to admit that in the 15 years from 1983 to 1998, I did exactly what I shouldn't do, I sang about the good things that should not be imitated, and I avoided saying the bad things that should be said.

Now I have to waste most of the day on food safety issues. I thought that I had stopped making mistakes for a long time and should distance myself from others, but I didn't expect to dream of fame and fortune and men; I thought that the fruit of wisdom I picked from the sages of ancient and modern China and foreign countries had nourished me into beauty and extraordinary, but I didn't expect that in the eyes of others, the article doesn't matter whether it's good or bad, it's just how to package it.

I hope that this qiē will pass as if I had a sickness.

After recovering from my illness, I returned to the worldly life, accompanied by a cup of tea and a book all day, which is called "self-cultivation". The good and bad things in the world are far away from me, and I don't have to make any judgments and reasoning. I looked at the two children next to me, my husband and son, and said calmly: "As long as the children don't cry, they can play anything." ”

Qing'er will remind me from time to time: Your job is not to raise chickens and grow vegetables, but to sow spiritual seeds in human souls!

I know that the soul needs to be sheltered and appeased, and I need to settle my soul first, doesn't it mean that there is a golden house and Yan Ruyu in the book? When the sun sets, I look up from between the pages of the book, looking at the rows of high-rise buildings, changing colors -- just like my dream, from "the autumn wind and fierce horses in the north of the country" to "the spring rain and apricot blossoms in the south of the Yangtze River......