Chapter 356: Who is love ruined

(30) Who is ruined by love

Outside my window was a gray wall, and I couldn't see the moon or stars.

I curled up in bed, thinking.

The light was dim, and it could only illuminate my writing.

I'm used to a lot of things, I'm used to doing nothing, I'm used to sleeping on a tightrope bed, I'm used to taking medicine after a meal, I'm used to going to bed after taking a pill, I'm used to looking at all kinds of painful expressions.

I also learned to recognize the thermometer.

The only thing I'm not used to is that I don't have my favorite books to read. I only flipped through pictorials with photos of the breeze.

Mei Shuang pulled out the pictorial from under my pillow and quickly recognized Qingfeng.

As soon as the breeze came, she pestered him to perform.

"What are you playing?" Qingfeng said good-naturedly, "There are no props." ”

"Just read the lines. ”

"Good. Qingfeng pretended to clear his throat and read:

"In the spring, the grouse became deaf and blind because of love. / The hunters just went into the mountains to hunt. / The hunter said: Love will ruin us all, ruin the beasts, ruin the human ......"

"It doesn't count, it's not a movie you're acting in. I said.

Meishuang and Qingyun looked at me suspiciously.

I said, "This is a line from the Yugoslav film "Love Destroys Us." ”

"Why, you even know about this film?" Qingfeng was surprised.

I'm glad I still remember. And I know that love doesn't ruin me, it just wastes some of my past time.

(31) Fish and sweets

I was determined to be discharged from the hospital because the roommate who came the day before yesterday was unbearable.

The sound of her leather shoes was so loud that it was thrilling.

Moreover, she was going to knock on the door of the doctor on duty at two o'clock in the night and shout, "I want!"

It is said that she opened the back door to enter in order to change jobs. She said that selling fish was fishy and cold, and she wanted to sell candy.

I think she's really sick.

This is a psychiatric hospital, and it's only white, stale white, with the pungent smell of formalin.

I really can't stay any longer.

Dad is here and is going through the procedures for me to be discharged from the hospital.

His hair seemed to be much whiter again.

Meishuang was crying, and they rushed to tell Dr. Sù that she was sick again.

I know not. We have come in together, and we should go out together. She thinks so.

All my comforting words choked in my throat. We hugged our heads and cried.

The sky is clear. Rare good day.

(32) Make a wish

My phone number, my dad and I were surprised.

It's a breeze. He said that he bought a one-bedroom apartment for Qingyun, who was so satisfied with the interior design that he was not ready to go back to the hospital.

He asked if he wanted us to come and see you, and if it was a boyfriend, he could take you out.

I said no.

Dad took me to a very comfortable guest house.

We're going to have a few days of fun, and we're going to Wenshu Monastery to make a wish.

Manjushri is said to be in charge of the literati. The first time I went out to interview a newspaper teacher when I was a freshman, I worshipped Manjushri.

One of the leaders who accompanied him said: Our Bodhisattva here is very spiritual, and from then on you will have wonderful writings!

This time, I don't know if my father meant to ask the Bodhisattva to bless me from getting sick again.

In this city, the breeze seems to be everywhere.

And when I got on the train heading south, the breeze was gone.

(Postscript)

I've been working for a few days now.

I'm peaceful.

My work continues to be fruitful.

The passion for writing poetry disappeared, and I started writing novels.

Every qiē suffering will turn into wealth, this is what I want to tell you, may we all come out of the suffering.

(White Diary 4: A Desperate Place 1993.03.16-21, first drafted in Sichuan)

(1994.07.21, finalized in Beijing.) Ah Lan)