I occasionally saw a joke on the side of Hongtuji, Lao Su laughed, and the title was: I went to the toilet at the goddess's house with my crush today, and I couldn't live the tragedy anymore~~~~~~

Today the goddess called me to repair the computer, such a request, at first I directly refused, because you can't let me fix it, I will fix it. I had to try it out for myself, because I didn't want me to add some special equipment after I finished repairing, and I needed a disc to boot it, so the goddess would scold me, because there was no such computer at all. That proves that my technology to fix computers is false. Later, I did confirm on the phone that the goddess was accidentally plugged into someone else's hard drive and got hit by a virus.,It has nothing to do with the harmony website.,I tried to reinstall the system at home.,It feels good.。 Later, I repeatedly warned him on the phone not to use all kinds of auxiliary devices to start the computer, because I had to make her understand that this is what my computer looks like after I finish repairing, and you will be exactly the same as mine after you finish repairing.

Cut to the point, I felt a little thirsty when I went out, so I gritted my teeth and took out 2 pieces of 5 to buy a bottle of Coke that I am usually reluctant to drink, so that I can also feel a little bit more identious, so as not to see the goddess and feel a little inferior. While drinking Coke, I came to the door of the goddess, she helped me open the door, saw the Coke in my hand, actually smiled, and said, "I have never seen you drink Coke before." One sentence broke the essence of my pretending to be X, but I thought about it for a moment, and then I said, "That's because I don't want to show my nobility to other women besides you." The goddess was slightly surprised when she heard this, and then immediately bowed her head with a red face. I was deeply impressed by my wit. It just so happened that my words were also heard by an aunt passing by at the staircase, and she was deeply impressed by my talent, and put down the dish in her hand on the spot and applauded me, and the applause lasted for a long time......

Then I walked in the door, and there was nothing to say about the process of repairing the computer, because it was just a very common problem, and I chose the simplest and most effective way, reinstalling the system. It was done quickly, and when it was over, the goddess poured me a glass of water and let me sit and rest for a while. I don't usually drink Coke, and my stomach obviously can't adapt to carbonated drinks, and I feel bloated in my stomach after a while. Obviously, I couldn't hold it back, so I asked her tactfully where the toilet was. The goddess frowned, she lives alone, she loves to be clean, and the house is very tidy, probably afraid that I will pollute the environment, but she sees that I am indeed a little uncomfortable, so she reluctantly pointed out the location of the toilet to me. I hurriedly pulled out a few pieces of paper and ran in. As soon as I entered the toilet, I closed the door with one hand and hurriedly untied the belt with one hand, because it was really uncomfortable, but the goddess's house was very small, set one, and the living room was basically next to the toilet, and I was afraid that I would make any ugly sounds, so I forcibly controlled my abdominal muscles. The toilet in the goddess's house is squatting, not a toilet, and it is more suitable for my habits, so I hurriedly untied my belt and squatted up.

But the saying that people have three urges is true, some things are not something you can control if you want to control them, my efforts to control my abdominal muscles are obviously not comparable to the peristalsis of my intestines, I originally wanted to let my excrement come out as gently as possible, gently, and slowly. So I've been trying to control, to control...... Recontrol ......

Who knew that I suddenly felt my stomach throb ...... "boom!!". It's like blowing up a mine in the toilet. I heard the goddess next door across the wall and let out a "Ah!"~~

Then I heard the goddess shouting outside, "What is the sound?" I hurriedly squatted inside, "It seems that the car outside has a flat tire......

She didn't respond, and I don't know if she did. Thinking of that noise, I didn't even know how to go out to meet her. When I was bored, I took out my mobile phone and wanted to go to the toilet while watching everyone relieve my worries.

Fortunately, the gas of Coke is not as much as I thought, and although there is still some movement in the back, it has never been as big as it started. I'm playing with my phone and getting a big size at the same time.

Just after I finished pulling, I looked down at the next signal, only to realize that something big had happened again......

Nima blew up just now and didn't just fart, but also Xiang!!

The pit under this Nima is now like a goddess scattering flowers, and the ground is full of golden armor! Lao Tzu was speechless for a moment, and hurriedly pulled out a few pieces of paper and came over to clean himself up first, and then kicked the mobile phone into his pocket and prepared to stand up and bolt the belt to find a way.

Who knew that Nima had just stood up, and before the belt was bolted, the phone fell out of his pocket, and it landed right in the hole in the sewer......

Lao Tzu was in a hurry, instinctively let go of the hand that was about to tie the belt, and hurriedly wanted to pick up the mobile phone, but the pants fell directly to the ground with a hula~ I held the water tank with one hand, and the other hand was like fishing, who knew that Nima I just pressed the flush button of the water tank without obliqueness, and my hand just went down to the hole, and the water began to flush over there, and a huge stream of water mixed with my excrement suddenly poured down, and it all rushed directly to my wrist.

And I don't know why there is so much water in the water tank at her house, this time I directly flushed the mobile phone into it and blocked it, and the water in the entire water tank had no place to go, so I saw it rise up from the tank all of a sudden, mixed with all kinds of leftovers from my previous and began to spread everywhere throughout the toilet.

Not only did the phone not catch it, but only then did I find that the pants that I had not bolted at all just now were still on the ground, at this time it had been soaked in those ** liquids, and I didn't care about the dirty things on my hands, so I hurriedly lifted my pants with my hands, which knew that the strength was too great, and the belt soaked in the water was pulled up from below by me at once, and it was thrown directly on my face, and in a trance I seemed to see that there was a trace of seaweed that was also thrown on my face.

Lao Tzu instinctively grabbed the seaweed with his right hand, but he didn't expect that it would be dirtier when his right hand just went to pick up his mobile phone. This slap goes down...... Nima: That ...... I can't go on......

After that slap went down, I only felt that my whole nasal cavity was filled with an indescribable smell, and even if I knew it was my own, I couldn't stand it at all. The smell came too suddenly, too pungently. I was completely defenseless, I didn't hold back, and spit it out directly, plus my hands and feet were inconvenient at the moment, so I didn't even have time to bend down this time. I saw the coke mixed with my lunch pouring down like this, almost all of it was spread below my chest.

This time, Lao Tzu is completely in a bunker, and there is no clean place on his body......

The voice I uttered at the moment of "Wow!!" seemed to have been heard by the goddess, and she hurriedly asked again, "What's wrong with you?"

I hurriedly said, "It's okay, it's okay~~" while enduring the nausea while finally tying the belt. Then he took a few deep breaths and hurriedly thought about what to do next......

It's that I can't calm down at all, I just want to wash my hands first after thinking for a long time, so I was ready to open the faucet of the basin, but Lao Tzu didn't pay attention to the slippery feet, and directly slipped and fell. The thin pipe must not be able to withstand my pulling, and it was completely pulled off at once, and there was a burst of water coming out of it.

I fell to the ground and made a loud noise, and then the goddess heard it again, and she was not calm, and knocked on my door, and said, "What the hell are you doing in there???"

I didn't care how dirty the water was beneath me, and as I struggled to get up and tried to block the faucet, I pretended to be calm and replied, "It's okay, it's okay." ”

"And how long will you have to ......?"

I fended off the splash and said, "Come on, come on......"

"Oh, you're hurrying up. I don't know what you're doing......" Hearing the goddess's tone, I knew she might be a little angry......

After the goddess urged me to hurry up, there was no sound again, I had to hold down the water sprayed out of the shower while lifting my pants, winter, dear, I was not ready to take a bath, the water out of it was really cold and biting, and it accelerated out under the pressure of my fingers.

The cold water calmed me down, and I decided to carefully analyze the current situation, the current general situation is that there is a toilet, the goddess is outside, there is a blocked toilet inside, the ground is sprinkled with mixed with Xiang's water, the shower bursts, and the water coming out of it is constantly slowly raising the water level in the toilet, I am standing inside, my whole body is filthy, and my pants are not yet dressed, I only hold my pants with one hand, and block the faucet with one hand.

What to do......

While I was in a lot of thoughts, I suddenly heard a mobile phone ringing outside, and then the goddess let out a "Hey." Then there was a stitch chat, the voice was relatively small, I didn't know what she was talking about, but she suddenly raised her voice and said, "What? are you downstairs? really??" Then she called me outside and said, "Hurry up, Zhang Di suddenly came, and said that he brought something delicious, you come out and let's eat together, I'll go down to pick him up." Then there was the sound of footsteps and doors closing.

After the goddess's words, I suddenly felt like the world was about to collapse. Zhang Di is rich and handsome, although he has not established a clear relationship with the goddess, but basically there is no difference between him and a couple, every time I see him, I am so ashamed that I can't raise my head, if this shape is seen by him today, I simply don't want to live. It seems that he came to surprise the goddess today, but I guess they didn't expect it at all, and I prepared a bigger and unprecedented surprise in the toilet......

When the goddess went out, I suddenly felt a lot less stressed, and I hurriedly let go of the hand blocking the shower and let the water flow out. Then I quietly walked to the door of the toilet with my pants in my tugg, opened a slit and took a look to make sure that there was no one outside, and then I was relieved. I have to clean myself, although there are a lot of towels in the toilet, but I definitely don't dare to touch them, that's the goddess's, in case I can't wash it after a while, it's over.

So I hurriedly ran to the living room, ready to smoke a few tissues, who knew that when I opened it, Nima was actually empty, and I was really unlucky to drink cold water and stuff my teeth. Just when I was at a loss, I suddenly saw some waste newspapers in the door, which was like a charcoal in the snow......

Without thinking about it, I ran over in a few steps, grabbed a few newspapers, and felt a lot more at ease, and just as I was breathing a sigh of relief, suddenly the door behind me rang! ！

This Nima is covered in all over my body, how can I still live if I am seen, the sound of the door lock is getting louder and louder, I hurriedly grabbed the newspaper with one hand, and the pants in the other, and rushed to the toilet in a frenzy!!

Friends, those of you who have run with your pants in your hands know that that posture is really hard to master. Nima I could only grab one side with one hand, and the pants on the other side were drooping too much, and I ran in a hurry, so I stumbled on my left foot and fell to the toilet door with a bang...... And the pants were all pulled below the knees, and the buttocks were exposed without any cover.

Worst of all, at the same time, the door to the living room opened at the same time. Lao Tzu didn't care about the pain, let alone lift his pants, and he didn't even have time to stand up, so he even crawled into the toilet.

But I'm sure Zhang Di definitely saw Lao Tzu's buttocks~~

Because as soon as he entered the door, he yelled, "me!"

As soon as I got into the bathroom, I hurriedly closed the door, completely oblivious to the commotion outside, and I really didn't know how to answer.

Zhang Di shouted: "Who!" The goddess hurriedly explained, "It's Xinjun, who came to help me repair my computer today, and then said that I wanted to go to the toilet, and I didn't know what I was doing after being in for a long time." "Fix the computer??? do you know what the consequences of finding an unreliable person to repair the computer? Do you remember Edison Chen?" Zhang Di shouted loudly.

The water in the toilet was getting higher and higher, and I stood at the door in fear, and finally put on my pants while leaning against the door. Someone inside the faucet was gurgling out, making a loud sound of water.

The goddess asked outside, "New Army, why is there such a loud sound of water?"

"I ...... I...... I'm in the shower......"

"Damn, he's still taking a bath, no wonder Lao Tzu saw his bare cheeks when he came in......!

Do you think it's you going to your girlfriend's house and seeing a bare-bottomed man hiding from you in the toilet......

The goddess also seems to be in a hurry, and she may really regret lending me the toilet at the moment. Outside, his voice was a little out of tune, "Xinjun, what the hell are you doing? Come out quickly! I'm going to be angry! Why do you go to the toilet and start taking a shower!!"

I'm going to cry, grandma, I don't want to, I looked at the water that was almost submerged in the crack of the door, and cursed myself that I shouldn't drink Coke for the sake of pretending to be noble. The culprit of everything is that coke.

"I ...... I'll be fine in a moment......" I whispered to the answerer, the current situation was completely out of my control, and the water from the toilet was almost overflowing my instep.

"Xinjun, you get out of here immediately! Hurry up!" Zhang Di was really angry, and began to bang on the toilet door outside. I hurriedly resisted, and then began to grope for the anti-lock button, and after looking around, I realized that the toilet door of the goddess's house had no anti-lock button at all!!

Fu Shuai scolded and slapped the door hard, I naturally didn't know what to do at all, so I could only instinctively resist the door. As a result, he didn't react after scolding for a long time, so he simply came to the hard one, and hit it directly!

I turned the handle in the opposite direction with all my might.

The goddess, who didn't know what the situation was, exclaimed in fright: "Zhang Di, what are you doing? Don't bump into it!" while slapping on the door again and saying, "Xinjun, come out quickly!!What are you doing??"

The whole scene has completely spiraled out of control......

My body has not been as rich and handsome and strong, and in addition to the fact that I am anxious at the moment, and he is angry, I am naturally not his opponent, and after a few rounds, I obviously feel that I can't stand on my feet.

Suddenly, he stopped. Just when I was wondering what was going on, I suddenly heard Gao Fushuai say: "You let ......"

Nima!!This is going to rush hard!!I immediately reacted that Gao Fushuai was going to run away! Lao Tzu turned around and looked at the toilet full of dirty water, if this Nima hit me, I would not want to live!

The ghost makes the god guess, it is really the ghost that makes the god send......

I don't know which tendon twitched, or maybe I gave up resistance completely, suddenly opened the door, and said, "Come in!"

Before the words landed, I saw Gao Fushuai's figure suddenly fly in from outside......

Without a cushion, his body pounced like a huge flying stone under the action of inertia......

As soon as Fu Shuai entered the door, I saw that his figure was obviously stagnant, probably completely frightened by the scene in the toilet. Involuntarily made a long sound, dragging his voice and shouting: "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

He probably wanted to say Nima, but it was too late, his feet were slippery, and he flew over directly, and then he didn't stand firmly, and he threw himself on the ground in a daze, and then I saw the water splashing on the ground at least a meter high, flying all over the walls of the toilet.

And the position where he fell was just so that his head fell directly into the squatting pit perfectly, and the two Nimmas he wanted to scold behind him also directly turned into two blisters...... Gao Fushuai hurriedly struggled to get up, but he was completely stunned and had no place to make it, he turned over, and the back of his head was wet in it, and when he just remembered it, his feet were slipped by the water again, and he fell down with a snap, at this moment he completely lost his mind, and kept shouting while struggling: "Nima, kill me." Yes...... Wow、、、、、" Gao Fushuai also vomited......

The goddess was directly stunned outside, she wanted to help Gao Fushuai pull her up, but she loved cleanliness and was afraid of dragging herself into the water.

She stared at me angrily and rushed over to give me a slap in the face. I didn't speak, I puffed up my chest proudly, and stretched out my face covered with shii and nori, and her waving arm in the air stopped directly, and I couldn't find a place to start......

I gave up completely, knowing that I couldn't get it back at all when I got to this point, so I simply broke the jar and broke it, walked to Gao Fushuai, who was still struggling, soaked the newspaper in his hand in the water, and then pressed it his face, and rubbed it a few times, and scolded loudly: "! Let you usually look down on Lao Tzu, eat you!" The newspaper was rubbed by me, and stuck to his face, so that he couldn't see anything at all. I can only support my body without falling down, and scratch my face at the same time.

Then I stood up and said to the goddess in a daze: "I'll help you call the property management company, my phone is blocked in your toilet, and after you take it out, you will throw it in the trash can downstairs and tell me, it has the only photo of you that I have." ”

Then I lifted my pants and walked out the door with my head held high, hiding my merit and fame.

The moment I closed the door, I suddenly felt a real shii slip through the corner of my eye