"Uncle Fireball, the person who is going to be killed by Shusha's shotgun is you, right?"

After moving to another bedroom, I said to Uncle Fireball behind closed doors.

"Nonsense! My niece weishenme is going to beat me to death? Uncle Fireball was indignant, "Sasha's marksmanship was taught by me, and I'm her uncle, isn't it ungrateful for her to kill me!?" ”

I made a teasing smile on my face, "Uncle Fireball, you let Shu Zhe pretend to be a pseudo-mother to serve you, so you are worthy of Shu Sha's parents?" ”

Uncle Fireball looked ashamed, thought for a while, and defended himself: "I just can't spit it out in my chest with a breath, and I can probably dissipate my anger by playing with Shu Zhe......"

"Really?" I asked, "Listen to Shu Zhe, you are browsing the product page of lubricant and raccoon sausage!" Didn't you want to explode Shu Zhe's chrysanthemum! The most unforgivable thing is that you are not looking at the product page of my online store! ”

"I really want to buy it, and it's good to buy my family!"

I accidentally entered the mode of the owner of the Happy Valley love shop again.

"Buy yours?" Uncle Fireball widened his eyes, "My right arm became like this because I bought your fake and shoddy products!" ”

"Uncle Fireball, don't be impatient," I said unhurriedly because of heart disease, "Except for the early pseudo-Niang items, the later goods were all sent to you by Shu Zhe, strictly speaking, what you bought is not 'my family' goods, but your 'own home' goods!" ”

Uncle Fireball frowned, "Then weishenme, the shipper on the courier bill always has your home address written on it?" If it was the address of my nephew's house, wouldn't I have found the problem! ”

"Uncle Fireball, you are calm~~~ Otherwise, your IQ will be lowered~~~~" I took a sip of water from the water dispenser unhurriedly, "The things that Shu Zhe sent you are all worse than the same, and the courier can also deliberately choose to pick up the goods when my sister is not at home, but if something goes wrong with the goods and you want to return the goods, it will be terrible to be found by my sister." ”

"So write our shipping address, leave my contact information, and the follow-up questions will all be mine!"

"And Uncle Fireball, why don't you say it, the delivery address you left is not the forest keeper's hut!" I said, "The address you left is a small town under the mountain, okay?" It's better to let someone else collect it on your behalf! How dare someone collect such a terrible thing!? ”

Uncle Fireball didn't listen, and when he heard me say this, he began to pour bitter water:

"The forest keeper's hut has to climb the mountain to go up, and the courier is reluctant to deliver it! And if he is eaten by a bear, who is to blame! The Tenga airplane cup I bought at the earliest was actually thrown at the foot of the mountain by the courier and asked me to go down the mountain and pick it up by myself! When I arrived, the outer packaging of the courier had already been half opened by the monkey! ”

I'll it! This monkey has evolved a little faster! The high-tech aircraft cup condensed by hundreds of years of human wisdom was almost tried by you!

"That's why I asked Lao Liu of the Yamashita Hotel to collect it for me! I sold a lot of ginseng to him! He is obsessed with qigong, and he is not interested in anything other than medicinal materials that can increase his strength! ”

We were a pair of business rivals who complained to each other for a long time, only to find out that each was responsible, and no one was completely innocent.

"Ye Lin," Uncle Fireball said as he looked at his wedding photo on the wall, "I think we are grasshoppers on a thread, and neither of us can escape." ”

"Huh? What does that mean? ”

"Cut, and say I have a low IQ?" Uncle Fireball knocked on the bedside table at hand, "My brother only has one son, Shu Zhe, and Sasha only has Shu Zhe's younger brother, now we should work together inside and out, let Shu Zhe wear women's underwear, cultivate his strange habits, and make two men compete to be his girlfriend......"

"It's three men." I stretched out my finger and reminded, "There is also a taekwondo practitioner named Tang Jiang, but he doesn't know that Shu Zhe is a man for the time being." ”

"You're going to die!" Uncle Fireball was irritated by the irresponsible increase in the number of suitors, "What would Sasha do if she knew that her brother was being chased by three men, and that it was you and me who started it?" ”

"Can you really break us down?" I asked tentatively.

"Why not!" Uncle Fireball slapped his thigh, "I know Sasha's character best!" She also doted on this younger brother very much, and if she knew that I didn't not only increase Shu Zhe's manhood, but also ......"

Uncle Fireball said that I am also quite weak-minded: the earliest time I deceived Shu Zhe to be a rope model, I told the squad leader that I would help Shu Zhe with sports training, so that he could pass the high school entrance examination in the future.

As a result, the goal of sports attainment was not achieved, but the pseudo-mother reached the standard, chasing three men behind her buttocks, and this achievement can already make many girls cry with jealousy.

The squad leader will cry when he knows the truth! Not tears of jealousy, but tears of blood from the heart!

"I have turned the only boy in my family into this, and I will punish you on behalf of the ancestors of the Shu family!"

"Bang!" "Phew!"

After two gunshots, Uncle Fireball and I fell to the ground, but the squad leader had no joy of revenge, because her brother was now dating six men a day, and the gifts he received filled several empty rooms.

After swallowing and spitting, I had to admit that what Uncle Fireball said was right, if Shu Zhe's current true motherhood level was known by my sister, Uncle Fireball and I would be more than lucky, and eighty percent would be slaughtered by Shu Sha together.

suddenly remembered that he brought Xiao Ding and Fan Chuan over today, not only to prevent Shu Zhe from being blown up, but also to eliminate the hidden dangers hanging over the squad leader's head.

So I said solemnly: "Uncle Fireball, you're Lolicon, right?" ”

"Also, it's not too ...... control" In this regard, Uncle Fireball is not as straightforward as Director Cao at all.

"It's not enough to control it at all!" I suddenly raised my voice, "You say!" Shusha went to the forest area to find you at the age of 12, when you taught her marksmanship, did you take advantage of her!? ”

Uncle Fireball's face immediately turned the color of pig liver, "I...... How can I do it to my niece? At that time, I hadn't learned how to use a computer, and I hadn't even started surfing the Internet! The most I could do was touch Sasha's head! ”

"And now?" I chased after him, "Now that you have degenerated into a pervert, have you ever thought about hacking Shusha now?" As an uncle she once respected, she must not be wary of you, right? ”

"I ......" Uncle Fireball had large beads of sweat on his face, and his brows were furrowed into a mess.

"I also feel ashamed to have fallen into this! You can only blame the Japanese and Americans for making too many erotic things on the Internet! But...... I'm also Sasha's own uncle, so it won't be bad for her anyway! At least in front of Sasha, I have to maintain my former tall image! ”

Seeing the sincerity of his words, I was a little relieved, and asked half-jokingly: "Uncle Fireball, are you actually afraid of eating Shusha's gun?" ”

When I was playing hooligan with words, the squad leader once made it clear that if she was violated, she would never remain silent with humiliation, but would resolutely call the police, and if the law could not give her justice, she would seek justice with a shotgun herself.

"Don't look down on me!" Uncle Fireball said solemnly, "Although Sasha's shotgun is indeed terrifying, it's not for this reason that I don't do it to her!" If I really do that kind of thing that is inferior to beasts, how can I be worthy of Sasha's parents and my brother and sister-in-law! ”

"That ......" Although I wanted to praise Uncle Fireball for having a little conscience, I still complained: "You don't have a black hand on Shu Sha, only a black hand on Shu Zhe, you are worthy of your brother and sister-in-law?" ”

"How can that be the same!?" Uncle Fireball glared at me and said, "The pseudo-mother won't get pregnant!" ”

I'm rubbing, you still want to make Shu Zhe pregnant! It seems that if I don't come to save people today, you will really blow up Shu Zhe's chrysanthemum! Although I can roughly determine that the squad leader is not in danger, I am relieved, and I don't care too much about Shu Zhe's chrysanthemum......

"Uncle Fireball...... I tapped the beat on the dresser with my fingertips, "You really bought the lubricant and raccoon sausage online, and the courier should be delivered to your door in a while, right?" ”

"I didn't buy those things!" Uncle Fireball didn't admit it, "I did browse it online, but I didn't buy it!" ”

"And what did you buy? You told Shu Zhe what was the 'surprise' you were going to give him after dinner? ”

"It's not a surprise if you say it in advance!"

"Something worse, right...... Is it so bad that I don't even sell it in my online store, and you have to buy it from someone else? ”

I'm still obsessed with Uncle Fireball buying other people's things.

"SB will continue to buy things at your house! I've been fooled so much, haven't I learned a lesson yet! ”

Said Cao Cao Cao arrived, I was discussing the express delivery with Uncle Fireball, and the doorbell rang outside, and at the same time, a young man's voice said: "Send the express!" ”

As if he was worried that I was rushing to receive the courier, Uncle Fireball got up quickly and walked to the living room to open the door for the other party, and Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding also poked their heads out of Shu Zhe's bedroom to check the situation.

If it was me in the past, I would definitely grab the front of the express as soon as possible, but now due to heart problems, I have to pay attention everywhere and reduce unnecessary actions.

And who knows if this express is cash on delivery! The props you bought for the chrysanthemum of Shu Zhe, why should I pay for it! I'm not interested in Shu Zhe's chrysanthemums!

After Uncle Fireball signed, the courier was in a hurry to deliver the goods of the next family, and left in a hurry, while I, Fan Chuan, and Xiaoding, the three of them surrounded Uncle Fireball in the middle, waiting for him to open the express packaging box in person.

"Uncle Fireball, don't tell lies in front of real people, just open the courier and let us see what it is?"

"That's right! Su Dongpo, hurry up and dismantle the express! What do you have for Xiao Hong'an, we will know by looking at the content of the express! ”

"If it's lubricating fluid and raccoon in it, I'll smoke you right away!"