Today is New Year's Day again, alas, it's been a year, it's been a year since the last time I said cross talk, and I haven't soaked a single girl, what a failure in life! Watching there are crazy female fans on TV, how come I haven't met one. Yun Ci and Qi Yang on top put on the coat again, they looked good, but they definitely didn't look as good as me.

This year's New Year's Day party is obviously not as grand as last year's, first of all, don't talk about bonuses, I don't value money as much as Yi Qiyang's dick, let's look at the leader's speech, there are no leaders in the city's districts, even the judges are not so much, not as serious as last year, it is estimated that last year I don't know what went crazy, to engage in quality education!

Yun Ci and Qi Yang teased me for a while, and there was still a little time before I could play, and I continued to wait below, watching what they said

Qi Yang said: "I'm sorry, that one said it wrong, the police leader said righteously, let him go, I'll go in and change him out!" ”

"The people are good cops, and then, what happened?" Yun Ci continued to ask.

The kidnapper naturally disagreed, pointing at Mo Xiang's head and shouting, "To tell the truth, Yi Qiyang's performance is really good, he still learns to speak sharply as the kidnapper, of course, the kidnapper is definitely not screaming, talking like this is just to cater to the needs of the audience, forcibly funny, at least I think so, "Don't come here!" I want money now, I want planes! Whoever comes over I'll hit whom! ”

"Yo! And then that? Yun Ci said nervously.

"In between, our police leaders quietly arranged the snipers and asked the snipers to adjust their positions, and at the same time used the horn to sell pants! Bah, "Yi Qiyang deliberately made a mistake, judging from the audience's reaction, the effect of the show is still quite good," the one used the horn to appease the kidnappers and said that he would come soon! Don't rush or anything like that! Finally, the sniper slowly adjusts his position to find the best place to shoot! Aim at the head, I only heard a bang! "Yi Qiyang imitates the appearance of a gun.

Yun Ci was also very excited, and waved his big hand and said, "The kidnapper has been killed!" ”

At this time, I knew that I should play, I slowly walked to the stage, the audience's applause, hehe, it seems that my fame is not small, there is still applause, but I need to walk a little slower, because I need to wait for Qi Yang to finish, I feel that this place is the most test of acting skills, Yun Ci and Qi Yang both of them know that I am coming, and they have to pretend not to know to continue their performance, plus the audience applauds, I think the two of them should be trying not to laugh.

Qi Yang picked up the horn again: "The hostage has been killed by us!" Hurry up and surrender!

A wave of laughter erupted from the audience! I feel like I'm going to be pushed back!

I quickened my pace at this time, I held the microphone in one hand and pushed Yi Qiyang with the other, put the microphone away, pointed at Yi Qiyang and said, "Come on, come on, go on, who was killed!" ”

"Then why did you get up? Aren't you killed? Qi Yang covered his mouth as if he were looking at me as a dead man, and then moved to the side, and the audience burst into laughter.

I continued to point to Yang and said, "Good guy, said to go to the toilet with me, I came out, I thought he was still in there, I waited for so long and didn't come out, I thought to myself, why did I go, come back and see, ran to the stage, not to mention the three of you said together, why did the two of you run up, what's going on?" ”

Yi Qiyang had a solemn expression: "Three people can't say it!" ”

"yes, I can't say." Yun Ci also chimed in

"Why can't I say it, didn't I say it all on the way here, three people said it together, why did two people come up, it's not in accordance with the rules!" I said anxiously, spreading my hands over the two of them.

"I just can't say it!" Qi Yang was very embarrassed and said, "What do you say about the three of you, talking about Wu Dalang?" Who will come to Wuhan University? Who's going to Lang? My God, when I think of you coming to Wuhan University, I can't imagine it! Qi Yang covered his mouth, looking very cheap.

"Alright, alright!" I patted Yi Qiyang's shoulder, "Come up today, it's to say cross talk to the audience, let's talk about cross talk today and bring joy to the audience, okay?" ”

Yun Ci said, "Then what are the three of us talking about today?" ”

I picked up the fan and opened it, and fanned it up: "That, in this way, the three of us, perform a practical one, what if we are kidnapped, how about it?" ”

"What are you showing," Qi Yang said, "just talk about a stand-up comedy, talk about how you escaped from the kidnapper's claws, that Yun Ci, let's go, let's go down." As he spoke, he beckoned Yun Ci to go down.

"Hahaha." Everybody had a lot of fun.

I hurriedly grabbed Qi Yang, although I didn't particularly want to hold him, I said: "Oh, don't go, Qi Yang, I can't say it myself, let's do a show for the three of us, so let's do it, Yun Ci plays the kidnapped, I play the kidnapper, how about you play the policeman." ”

"Hahaha," Qi Yang laughed cheaply, "don't you want me to go?" ”

I nodded helplessly: "Yes, yes, okay, no, we can't do it without you, we can't talk about cross talk without you, you are our soul!" "I'm a little sick myself!

"Well, since you said so," Qiyang is still cheap, "I'll give you a face, but you have to beg me!" Hahahaha! ”

Eh, how do I remember that there doesn't seem to be this right word, this guy changed the word temporarily, it's really stinky and shameless!

I didn't know how to deal with it, so I could only follow his meaning, and I looked at him: "Big brother, I beg you!" ”

"Okay, let's get started, how do you start, you say." He said to me with his raised hand in front of him.

"In this way, Yun Ci, you are the victim, I am the thief who kidnapped you, you give a demonstration to your classmates, how should you deal with this situation, okay?" I said to Yun Ci.

Yun Ci knocked his hand with a fan: "Yes." ”

"Okay, then let's talk about it," I looked at the two of them, "I'll use this fan as a gun, and you as a cop as a supporting role, okay?" ”

I closed the fan and put it on Yun Ci's head, since this Yun Ci is a female man, I don't think about eating her tofu, I think if I dare to do that, maybe I won't be able to get off this stage!

I put a "gun" against Yun Ci's head and said, "Get me a million dollars and a helicopter!" Otherwise, I'll tear up the ticket! Hurry up! "I feel that pretending to be a kidnapper is quite similar, it's really dripping, I admire myself a little in my heart, tsk, I can really go to the entertainment industry to develop.

Qi Yang took the fan as *, and then he pretended to aim, and then dubbed himself, bang! Qi Yang said: "The hostages have been killed by us, you should surrender quickly!" ”

Without thinking about it, everyone laughed.

I let go of Yun Ci: "Big brother, what do you want to do!" We can still have fun together! ”

Qiyang also put down the "gun", and couldn't help but smile and said to me: "No, actually, you are too face-saving, and there is no need to follow our script, we just said it directly, you have to say this, I can't help it for a while, hehe, I'm sorry, that's going on." ”

"Don't make any more trouble, alright, let's get going," I said, and then continued to kidnap Yun Ci, "You guys hurry back!" Give me money! Give me the car, or I'll tear up the ticket! ”

Qi Yang took a gun and said to me: "You have been surrounded, letting go of the hostages to surrender is your only way out, surrender quickly!" ”

"Five minutes! If you don't give me money, I'll die with the hostages!" "I hid behind Yun Ci and said viciously, acting, always acting like a little bit, I feel good about myself in the tone of my speech.

Yun Ci said: "Comrade police! Leave me alone, let's go! I will die with him! "That look is even more Liu Hulan than Liu Hulan! Of course, the performance is definitely not as good as mine.

Ki Yang looked at me indignantly, and then snorted in his throat! Say, "Okay! "Then I was about to go backstage, and I hurried to stop him at this time.

I first filtered the mood that the audience brought me to laugh, and then I held my face and shouted, "You come back to me!" What, you're all right, the hostages are about to hang, you're good there! You have to save the hostages, you can't really run away! ”

"However, what the hostages can say."

"No, I'm just talking, paralyze the kidnappers, you have to save me!" Yun Ci also said it next to him.

"Okay, okay, do it all over again!" Raise and wave your hand.

"I can't run anymore this time!" I feigned warning and raised my head.

Qiyang waved his hand: "Don't worry, let's start." ”

Ahem, then it starts again, Yun Ci continued: "Comrade policeman, you go!" I will die with him! ”

"No! We've got to get you out! Then he said, "Fuck off!" You let go of that girl! Let me! That ahem is good, you let her go! I'll take you hostage! ”

Uh, I don't remember the word "fuck off"! I continued, "Okay! Come on, you come to be my hostage. ”

Qi Yang walked over slowly, I also had to slowly let go of Yun Ci, let Yun Ci go over, this seems to me this kind of script is very bad, I let go of her She will be over directly, I have to let me watch them exchange, if I am a kidnapper, am I a fool? That's why I don't do that.

Yun Ci stopped and raised: "Hurry up and run!" ”

My performance at this time requires a very pompous statement: "Stop! "Although I know it's nonsense!

"Oh!" Qi Yang said, and then grabbed Yun Ci, "What are you running, people let us stand there, stand up!" Then Qi Yang grabbed Yun Ci.

I put down the fan weakly: "Big brother, can you act, I can't cooperate with people like you!" Why are you holding her back? What to do if the demo kidnaps? You're here to smash the ground! ”

"Roar roar, sorry, I forgot I was a cop, come on, come on." The smile is still so cheap!

"No, no, no!" I'm angry, how can anyone be so stupid.