Chapter 760: Exorcism (51)

Blue Mandala: Exorcism

（51）

In the summer, my mother would dry a lot of dried fruits, put them in a white cloth bag, and save them for the winter to eat. The fruit stored in the cellar also rots, so the fruit in winter feels expensive, and now that I think about it, I think it is expensive because of the less money I make.

I'm afraid that whatever is produced in the local area can be eaten is the most healthy, we do not produce rice in the mountains, there is no shortage of fruits, I eat fruit as a meal to reduce the burden on my mother. My family is not short of food, because food is provided on a per capita basis, and my younger siblings do not eat much when they are young, and they have a surplus every month. The payroll mother always buys the rice first and saves it, and boils a big pot for each meal for the visitors to eat as they please. When the guests went to serve the meal, there was no more in the pot, and my mother would scold me for wasting my time on picking and choosing one by one, and teach me to scrub it by hand and strain it with a copper scoop. But in order to avoid crushing the rat droppings, I still have to choose first, even though I sometimes don't get a bite of my own dinner.

At that time, I had just criticized Confucius, I was reading Mozi, Mozi's "love and love" is the doctrine of the poor and weak, I memorized the translation first and then the original text, and I was always moved, and I felt that my mother was like a disciple of Mozi, with a compassionate mind.

I think people in ancient times didn't eat dinner, they regarded eating dinner as extravagant, and it shouldn't matter if I didn't eat occasionally.

But when I was in the second year of junior high school, I realized that my mother was being exploited like that, and those new teachers could eat two semesters in me as long as they spent the year-end bonus, and they could save 10 months' salary. At that time, it had already happened that the colleague who asked my mother for food stamps every month did not know that the food stamps were taken away by thieves, and my family was the poorest of all the teachers. And a male teacher who ate at my house for a year and did not show any signs of leaving, and pricked my face with his beard, and when I washed the dishes, I expressed my dissatisfaction and asked him to wash them himself in the future, not to put them with my dishes, and my mother slapped me in front of him.

That day, I was crying and washing the dishes, and the sleeves of my clothes were wet, and I didn't stop crying when I went to school for evening self-study. I think that there are many things that people have to do in the world, but there is only one way to sum it up: what is less makes up for what is more, and what is more is subtracted. We lack wealth and fraternity, calamity and hatred. But no matter how much wealth and fraternity there is, there is too little, and no matter how little disaster hatred is, there is also more. Wealth cannot be exchanged for friendship, and friendship cannot be turned into wealth, but disasters and hatred are not less. How does my mother want to live her life? Cowardly all her life, no one dares to offend, and she will only be angry with me alone?

From that day on, I learned to curse.

Later I found out that I didn't need to curse at all, and that those who spoke ill of me were worse off than dead, and that those who did bad things to me would suffer immediately.

Now, I feel that even wealth and friendship have to be made up for and reduced, otherwise there will still be endless troubles in life. Love should be based on the equality of all personalities, not blindly self-disciplined and self-suffering; it is not disorderly love, but principled and purposeful; if evil is not punished, it will be difficult to realize the beautiful ideal of "everyone giving a little love."

Natural and social disasters threaten the safety of mankind all the time, but human beings have been violating the laws of nature and shooting themselves in the foot.

As the saying goes: it is okay to die at night. I hope that my mother knows her own cowardice, so that she can deal less with others and reduce the risk of being hurt by evil spirits. But calling to say hello, she went out to play mahjong again.