Chapter 416: Confusion (8)

Depression Spring: Confusion (Varu Alan)

(8) Taboo

Yunzi went home for the funeral during the Spring Festival, and her father died.

It's a lot of weird things I've heard about before but never believed.

She also said that she had been dreaming of her father lately. It turned out that she didn't receive her father's last breath.

I remembered that my mother always beat me when I was a child, but I didn't know why.

It took many years to understand that she was angry with me for combing my hair at night before going to bed.

She said that when she was down, I wouldn't be able to go back, just like she couldn't go to her mother-in-law's funeral because she gave birth to a younger brother.

She really couldn't go to believe it. So she was very angry that I combed my hair at night, but she didn't know how I would know?

And when I see someone combing their hair at night, I talk about this taboo.

Of course, it was hilarious.

Maybe there is a reason for the Qingming Festival in spring, I always think of sad things, every spring, my mind will become very chaotic, I don't know why.

He said to me earnestly: You can call your good friend when you are sad. I thanked him, and then thought to myself that he didn't know what was so sad about me, and then I felt very sad because maybe even I didn't know.

It's just that how do I face my family calmly every day, and how do I change my sadness?

I have been looking for a natural and calm state for a long time, but looking back, I didn't realize that there was a period of peace.

Maybe I'm just preaching calm for the sake of piling up words.

It's like I'm a laughing person, but I'm not really that happy.

I think laughter is an instinct, like eating and drinking or something. Sometimes I even laugh when I get angry when I eat, usually because I have a big temper, and others don't care about it at all, so I have to use laughter to hide my disappointment and unwillingness.

After this experience, there are more and more times to laugh, and less and less time to be really happy.

So I'm wondering, is there a complex sadness hidden behind every bright smile?

What kind of attitude should I take to face life?

I understand what everyone does, I don't blame anyone, I just want to go on with the time of life, even if some people and some things are no longer there. So let's think of today as a festival day.

Actually, today is the first anniversary of my blog at Yahoo.

Suddenly I remembered one thing, I was waiting for someone at the station at dusk, and a girl came to talk to me, so to speak, the only person in history who accosted me.

She said: Little Lanzi, you are my little Lanzi!

She said: You are the child I gave birth to Yang Liu - you are Xiaolanzi!

She took out her ID card and showed it to me, and I was a little scared when I saw that it was 1971, because I met a lot of people in 1971 that year, and I happened to meet a lot of crazy girls whose ID card was on a state farm in the distance, and she actually ran to Beijing.

I told her not to run around, and then I asked someone where the nearby police station was.

When I turned back, she was gone. I have always been worried in my heart, although she is thin, but her ID card shows that she is 23 years old, and she will never see the sun in her life when she meets a bad guy like this.